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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: tjshorty on June 14, 2020, 12:31:08 pm
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Since this virus my dad has had to enter a home. Now that the states are opening back up. I don't understand why the homes cant reopen to visitors. I think they can find a safe way to do this. I mean like the court house takes your temp before entering and the staff is behind plexiglass. The restaurants are open with limited seating. They are coming up with crazy plans about opening schools. By the way I hate those ideas. I would hate to be a student and have to go to school like that. Any back to the nursing homes. I think they can find away to allow safe visits. Other than talking on a cell phone through the window. Put masks on go outside keep your distance. I think it would do my Dad a world of good to see my Mom that way.
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I dont think most take the best of care in them.
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Since this virus my dad has had to enter a home. Now that the states are opening back up. I don't understand why the homes cant reopen to visitors. I think they can find a safe way to do this. I mean like the court house takes your temp before entering and the staff is behind plexiglass. The restaurants are open with limited seating. They are coming up with crazy plans about opening schools. By the way I hate those ideas. I would hate to be a student and have to go to school like that. Any back to the nursing homes. I think they can find away to allow safe visits. Other than talking on a cell phone through the window. Put masks on go outside keep your distance. I think it would do my Dad a world of good to see my Mom that way.
I agree it is sad that residents have not seen their family since March. I realize these people are the worst if they get the virus, but I think there has to be some way to allow families in. Maybe if they only allowed immediate family, and you must wear a mask and gloves. You can only meet with family in their room (no taking them out of room); residents must be masked and gloves. I don’t know, maybe then it might work. The nursing homes and hospitals where I live still are not allowing visitors except end of life residents or patients in hospitals.
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Please God, allow me to die in peace without being subjected to being put in a nursing home. :notworthy:
Amen.
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Some nursing homes are pleasant but others have abusive workers that mistreat the elderly. What they need in nursing homes are hidden cameras that no employees know about and weed out the people who are abusing older people.
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I am sorry that you are faced with such a situation at this time. I pray that the right home opens up soon so that you know that you are making the right decision.
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I have been looking into ways to have my mother put in assisted living and the paperwork and information is overwhelming
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Since this virus my dad has had to enter a home. Now that the states are opening back up. I don't understand why the homes cant reopen to visitors. I think they can find a safe way to do this. I mean like the court house takes your temp before entering and the staff is behind plexiglass. The restaurants are open with limited seating. They are coming up with crazy plans about opening schools. By the way I hate those ideas. I would hate to be a student and have to go to school like that. Any back to the nursing homes. I think they can find away to allow safe visits. Other than talking on a cell phone through the window. Put masks on go outside keep your distance. I think it would do my Dad a world of good to see my Mom that way.
I would do all I could to keep my family out of a nursing home especially now. I don't know your circumstances so I assume there was no other choice. The not allowing visitors has nothing to do with the staff. It has to do with keeping "the virus" out of the home. If one patient gets it then they will all have it. OR so they say. I agree I think it is really hard mentally on residents to not be able to see their family. A woman was on twitter saying how her dad died in the nursing home ALONE because they would not let any one in.
This is unfair as the staff are out living their lives and the staff are the biggest threat to bringing this virus in. Taking temps is foolish. You can "supposedly" be contagious for 14 days before you show the first symptoms so that makes no sense at all.
The answer is to back off and let people live their lives. They don't act this way over the flu and for elderly in a nursing home that is just as deadly.
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Since this virus my dad has had to enter a home. Now that the states are opening back up. I don't understand why the homes cant reopen to visitors. I think they can find a safe way to do this. I mean like the court house takes your temp before entering and the staff is behind plexiglass. The restaurants are open with limited seating. They are coming up with crazy plans about opening schools. By the way I hate those ideas. I would hate to be a student and have to go to school like that. Any back to the nursing homes. I think they can find away to allow safe visits. Other than talking on a cell phone through the window. Put masks on go outside keep your distance. I think it would do my Dad a world of good to see my Mom that way.
I agree it is sad that residents have not seen their family since March. I realize these people are the worst if they get the virus, but I think there has to be some way to allow families in. Maybe if they only allowed immediate family, and you must wear a mask and gloves. You can only meet with family in their room (no taking them out of room); residents must be masked and gloves. I don’t know, maybe then it might work. The nursing homes and hospitals where I live still are not allowing visitors except end of life residents or patients in hospitals.
Not really. A local woman in her 90s with COPD beat it. As far as I know in my state they have opened that back up but not really sure because I do not have family in a nursing home at this time.
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Since this virus my dad has had to enter a home. Now that the states are opening back up. I don't understand why the homes cant reopen to visitors. I think they can find a safe way to do this. I mean like the court house takes your temp before entering and the staff is behind plexiglass. The restaurants are open with limited seating. They are coming up with crazy plans about opening schools. By the way I hate those ideas. I would hate to be a student and have to go to school like that. Any back to the nursing homes. I think they can find away to allow safe visits. Other than talking on a cell phone through the window. Put masks on go outside keep your distance. I think it would do my Dad a world of good to see my Mom that way.
It’s sad you have to put your dad in a nursing home, especially now. Unfortunately we had to put my mon in a few years ago. She had Alzheimer’s was non verbal, could not walk, incontinent, and at times physically abusive. My siblings and I checked all the homes in our area and chose a beautiful, highly rated one. She had a beautiful single room overlooking a garden. This was all nice and good, but a word to the wise, don’t trust the staff 100%. There were no set visiting hours (as there should not be), so between my siblings and myself and spouses the staff never knew when we would show up. Don’t visit the same times the same day, staff will know. We also made nice nice with staff. We gave them gift cards for pizza for the shifts, boxes of candy to share etc. if you can’t afford that, it’s ok, just try to friend the staff. I was thinking if staff liked us they would (we hoped) be nice to our mom. Good luck, I know it’s a hard decision. If your dad is mentally ok, you will have it easier as he can tell you what’s going on. Again, good luck!
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I have a close friend that works in nursing home administration. They are trying SO hard to keep everyone safe. They are taking every precaution to keep the virus out and away from their residents. It is disappointing that family could no longer visit, but the virus is so deadly to older people.
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Since this virus my dad has had to enter a home. Now that the states are opening back up. I don't understand why the homes cant reopen to visitors. I think they can find a safe way to do this. I mean like the court house takes your temp before entering and the staff is behind plexiglass. The restaurants are open with limited seating. They are coming up with crazy plans about opening schools. By the way I hate those ideas. I would hate to be a student and have to go to school like that. Any back to the nursing homes. I think they can find away to allow safe visits. Other than talking on a cell phone through the window. Put masks on go outside keep your distance. I think it would do my Dad a world of good to see my Mom that way.
It’s sad you have to put your dad in a nursing home, especially now. Unfortunately we had to put my mon in a few years ago. She had Alzheimer’s was non verbal, could not walk, incontinent, and at times physically abusive. My siblings and I checked all the homes in our area and chose a beautiful, highly rated one. She had a beautiful single room overlooking a garden. This was all nice and good, but a word to the wise, don’t trust the staff 100%. There were no set visiting hours (as there should not be), so between my siblings and myself and spouses the staff never knew when we would show up. Don’t visit the same times the same day, staff will know. We also made nice nice with staff. We gave them gift cards for pizza for the shifts, boxes of candy to share etc. if you can’t afford that, it’s ok, just try to friend the staff. I was thinking if staff liked us they would (we hoped) be nice to our mom. Good luck, I know it’s a hard decision. If your dad is mentally ok, you will have it easier as he can tell you what’s going on. Again, good luck!
See that is not right at all. When a family member was in the nursing home a few years ago I was there the most and they never knew when I would show up. They also knew I would say something about things that were not right. I probably made a few people mad. I bought one of those huge bags of mini candy bars for my family member and it was in a sealed container in his room. In just a few days (maybe 3-4) the staff had ate ALL the candy. They have their own money and they can buy their own stuff. All beside the point.
I would say someone who buys the staff stuff all the time may treat that family member better but that is wrong. If you are in the facility you deserve to be treated with the upmost respect and helped. If you as a staff member do not want to do that then you need to seek employment some where else. No it is not a fun job but most jobs aren't. I saw a lot when I was there. There was one woman who did not have family and they were kind of mean to her. She did not have anyone to advocate for her. It is good if you have several family members that can drop in and stop all different times so they never know when you might show up. And you would be surprised to know that the residents won't tell on the staff. I wonder sometimes if they threaten them.
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Since this virus my dad has had to enter a home. Now that the states are opening back up. I don't understand why the homes cant reopen to visitors. I think they can find a safe way to do this. I mean like the court house takes your temp before entering and the staff is behind plexiglass. The restaurants are open with limited seating. They are coming up with crazy plans about opening schools. By the way I hate those ideas. I would hate to be a student and have to go to school like that. Any back to the nursing homes. I think they can find away to allow safe visits. Other than talking on a cell phone through the window. Put masks on go outside keep your distance. I think it would do my Dad a world of good to see my Mom that way.
It’s sad you have to put your dad in a nursing home, especially now. Unfortunately we had to put my mon in a few years ago. She had Alzheimer’s was non verbal, could not walk, incontinent, and at times physically abusive. My siblings and I checked all the homes in our area and chose a beautiful, highly rated one. She had a beautiful single room overlooking a garden. This was all nice and good, but a word to the wise, don’t trust the staff 100%. There were no set visiting hours (as there should not be), so between my siblings and myself and spouses the staff never knew when we would show up. Don’t visit the same times the same day, staff will know. We also made nice nice with staff. We gave them gift cards for pizza for the shifts, boxes of candy to share etc. if you can’t afford that, it’s ok, just try to friend the staff. I was thinking if staff liked us they would (we hoped) be nice to our mom. Good luck, I know it’s a hard decision. If your dad is mentally ok, you will have it easier as he can tell you what’s going on. Again, good luck!
See that is not right at all. When a family member was in the nursing home a few years ago I was there the most and they never knew when I would show up. They also knew I would say something about things that were not right. I probably made a few people mad. I bought one of those huge bags of mini candy bars for my family member and it was in a sealed container in his room. In just a few days (maybe 3-4) the staff had ate ALL the candy. They have their own money and they can buy their own stuff. All beside the point.
I would say someone who buys the staff stuff all the time may treat that family member better but that is wrong. If you are in the facility you deserve to be treated with the upmost respect and helped. If you as a staff member do not want to do that then you need to seek employment some where else. No it is not a fun job but most jobs aren't. I saw a lot when I was there. There was one woman who did not have family and they were kind of mean to her. She did not have anyone to advocate for her. It is good if you have several family members that can drop in and stop all different times so they never know when you might show up. And you would be surprised to know that the residents won't tell on the staff. I wonder sometimes if they threaten them.
I agree it’s sad how some residents are treated. If the resident is able to speak it’s not as bad as someone like my mom was. I saw many residents like my mom who were in bed 90% of the time because staff were too lazy to get them up and if no family came who would know. My mother was always up and dressed. Believe me when things were not to my liking they heard about it immediately. Yes, all residents should all be treated equally, but sadly that’s not always the case. In the fairness to staff there were some excellent nurses and CNAs but then there were some who didn’t give a dam Buying the staff things may or may not have been right, but our thinking was if we treat staff nice, they will treat her nice. I only pray that was the case when we were not there.
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I agree it’s sad how some residents are treated. If the resident is able to speak it’s not as bad as someone like my mom was. I saw many residents like my mom who were in bed 90% of the time because staff were too lazy to get them up and if no family came who would know. My mother was always up and dressed. Believe me when things were not to my liking they heard about it immediately. Yes, all residents should all be treated equally, but sadly that’s not always the case. In the fairness to staff there were some excellent nurses and CNAs but then there were some who didn’t give a dam Buying the staff things may or may not have been right, but our thinking was if we treat staff nice, they will treat her nice. I only pray that was the case when we were not there.
If you can/could afford it that is fine. Wasn't saying that. Just thinking of staff that was nicer to someone who they got more out of it from the family. I complained about one thing several times and my cousin who worked there said I needed to be quite because the thing I was complaining about could get the facility shut down. WELL FIX IT you dumb butts. smh
There was a resident that got tied to a chair as punishment (his wife told me about it) and I think another resident told her. The girl who done it was fired. As far as I know no one was mean to my family but he probably would not have said anything for fear. He had to live there. You are right like with your mom she could not tell. But with her mental status she probably would not even know to try to let you know. I am sure she would know if they were hurting her (and I pray that did not happen and it most likely did not).
There was a man who had no family that was there and had not had a visitor in 8 years. He usually yelled at staff if they came in his room. He had laid in a bed for 8 years. No visitors. I can imagine he was angry and probably just wanted to die. I took some stuffed animals out there one day (one for every resident) and I was warned before we went in to his room. He did not talk but he smiled at me when I gave him the bear. My cousin had went with me and she said she have never seen him smile before. Like somebody else said, I think I would rather just die than end up some where like this. Esp when they are doing things where they can ban family from visiting.
I have wondered if you could remove them from the facility or they are just locked up in there during times like now. And get ready cause the lock downs will be back in the fall. Esp around election time.
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I agree it’s sad how some residents are treated. If the resident is able to speak it’s not as bad as someone like my mom was. I saw many residents like my mom who were in bed 90% of the time because staff were too lazy to get them up and if no family came who would know. My mother was always up and dressed. Believe me when things were not to my liking they heard about it immediately. Yes, all residents should all be treated equally, but sadly that’s not always the case. In the fairness to staff there were some excellent nurses and CNAs but then there were some who didn’t give a dam Buying the staff things may or may not have been right, but our thinking was if we treat staff nice, they will treat her nice. I only pray that was the case when we were not there.
If you can/could afford it that is fine. Wasn't saying that. Just thinking of staff that was nicer to someone who they got more out of it from the family. I complained about one thing several times and my cousin who worked there said I needed to be quite because the thing I was complaining about could get the facility shut down. WELL FIX IT you dumb butts. smh
There was a resident that got tied to a chair as punishment (his wife told me about it) and I think another resident told her. The girl who done it was fired. As far as I know no one was mean to my family but he probably would not have said anything for fear. He had to live there. You are right like with your mom she could not tell. But with her mental status she probably would not even know to try to let you know. I am sure she would know if they were hurting her (and I pray that did not happen and it most likely did not).
There was a man who had no family that was there and had not had a visitor in 8 years. He usually yelled at staff if they came in his room. He had laid in a bed for 8 years. No visitors. I can imagine he was angry and probably just wanted to die. I took some stuffed animals out there one day (one for every resident) and I was warned before we went in to his room. He did not talk but he smiled at me when I gave him the bear. My cousin had went with me and she said she have never seen him smile before. Like somebody else said, I think I would rather just die than end up some where like this. Esp when they are doing things where they can ban family from visiting.
I have wondered if you could remove them from the facility or they are just locked up in there during times like now. And get ready cause the lock downs will be back in the fall. Esp around election time.
Like you said there are horror stories in some nursing homes by some aides and nurses. It is so sad and pathetic that when a person reaches a certain age and cannot live alone and has to go in a nursing home they may be treated worse then an animal. I can believe that man was not actually tied what he was was strapped by restraints which is considered tied down, and done in homes, I have seen it many times. That’s what I mean by the man in his bed for 8 years. No visitors God only knows how you are treated. I don’t know if you can take someone out of a facility now, that’s a good question. But in my case I could not bring my mom with me, not in her condition and I would have had to quit work. I have told my family, and I’m dead serious, if I feel I’m slipping mentally I will kill myself. I don’t ever want to end up like my mother. It should be interesting what happens in fall.
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I understand your concern. Some nursing homes in our area are allowing visitors with precautions. The reason they are being so restrictive is because of the residents vulnerability and because it spreads easily. Some residents might not always follow the precautions. Better safe than sorry in my opinion.
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My mother had a good experience at her nursing home. Eventually her kidneys began to fail. The doctors wanted to put her in the hospice cottage which was lovely. My mother chose to go to hospice care at the nursing home "where her friends are" she said. The nurses aides were her friends. When I got the call that she had passed away at 2:00 a.m. I went straight to the nursing home. All the young nurses hugged me and cried. I felt like I needed to comfort them, instead of them comforting me. It was very moving.
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My mother had a good experience at her nursing home. Eventually her kidneys began to fail. The doctors wanted to put her in the hospice cottage which was lovely. My mother chose to go to hospice care at the nursing home "where her friends are" she said. The nurses aides were her friends. When I got the call that she had passed away at 2:00 a.m. I went straight to the nursing home. All the young nurses hugged me and cried. I felt like I needed to comfort them, instead of them comforting me. It was very moving.
I’m happy your mom had great care. Like I said previously there are wonderful nurses and aides in nursing homes, but there are also uncaring ones. So happy you found a good home for your mom and I’m very sorry for your loss.
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I think it really come down to performing due diligence/doing your homework. We researched five assisted living facilities when my parents were ready to make the move last year and were quite happy with the final decision. We also had a private physician visiting every two weeks and ultimately had to get a nurse/caretaker to provide round the clock care (one of the round the clock caregivers charged some meals to my parent's account and was dismissed). My father passed five weeks ago and we had been researching different facilities in Colorado so that my mother could be closer to us. We reviewed a ten year history on three facilities, checked the credentials of each caregiver and feel comfortable with the location that has been chosen. No incidences of CoVid or abuse.
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I think it really come down to performing due diligence/doing your homework. We researched five assisted living facilities when my parents were ready to make the move last year and were quite happy with the final decision. We also had a private physician visiting every two weeks and ultimately had to get a nurse/caretaker to provide round the clock care (one of the round the clock caregivers charged some meals to my parent's account and was dismissed). My father passed five weeks ago and we had been researching different facilities in Colorado so that my mother could be closer to us. We reviewed a ten year history on three facilities, checked the credentials of each caregiver and feel comfortable with the location that has been chosen. No incidences of CoVid or abuse.
So happy you found a good home for your mom like I said there are excellent ones with great staff and some not so much, you just have to do your homework. And I'm so very sorry to hear of the passing of your father.
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Wonder if the nursing homes have opened back up every where. I think in my area you can now visit. Not sure if there are restrictions as I have no family there. I think if I did I would get them out of there while things were open before things lock back down.
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Wonder if the nursing homes have opened back up every where. I think in my area you can now visit. Not sure if there are restrictions as I have no family there. I think if I did I would get them out of there while things were open before things lock back down.
That’s a great idea, but sadly it can’t always work. My mom had dementia, could not speak, walk, wore diapers, had to have food purée and fed. I had her home with me for 3 years. Had a caretaker with her 5 days so I could work, but after 5 pm and all weekends she was my responsibility 100%. I tried my best, but my life was completely changed, once I was home Friday I never left the house until Monday morning. Did that for 3 years straight. As time went by she naturally got worse and harder to handle. I had no choice, it broke my heart but I had to do it.
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God's in control, just trust him to take care of your father.
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Wonder if the nursing homes have opened back up every where. I think in my area you can now visit. Not sure if there are restrictions as I have no family there. I think if I did I would get them out of there while things were open before things lock back down.
That’s a great idea, but sadly it can’t always work. My mom had dementia, could not speak, walk, wore diapers, had to have food purée and fed. I had her home with me for 3 years. Had a caretaker with her 5 days so I could work, but after 5 pm and all weekends she was my responsibility 100%. I tried my best, but my life was completely changed, once I was home Friday I never left the house until Monday morning. Did that for 3 years straight. As time went by she naturally got worse and harder to handle. I had no choice, it broke my heart but I had to do it.
I understand that. Just saying if it was possible after what has happened I would sure try. :(
We have enough abuse the way it is. Just think how it is when no family is allowed in the facility.
When my pappaw was in the nursing home there was an old man with Alzheimer and he would sit all day and spin the wheels on a little truck he held in his hand. Sometimes he would drop the truck and he was just staring in to space. If I noticed I would pick the truck up and put in his hand and he would start spinning the wheels again.
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Wonder if the nursing homes have opened back up every where. I think in my area you can now visit. Not sure if there are restrictions as I have no family there. I think if I did I would get them out of there while things were open before things lock back down.
When my mom was in we made sure one of us were there 7 days a week and at different times so staff never knew when we would show up. There were great, caring staff, and then staff that could have cared less. There was a woman on my moms floor who spent all day looking at herself in a long mirror and talking to her ‘twin’, another lady always carried her doll and I picked it off the floor many times when she dropped it. Sad
That’s a great idea, but sadly it can’t always work. My mom had dementia, could not speak, walk, wore diapers, had to have food purée and fed. I had her home with me for 3 years. Had a caretaker with her 5 days so I could work, but after 5 pm and all weekends she was my responsibility 100%. I tried my best, but my life was completely changed, once I was home Friday I never left the house until Monday morning. Did that for 3 years straight. As time went by she naturally got worse and harder to handle. I had no choice, it broke my heart but I had to do it.
I understand that. Just saying if it was possible after what has happened I would sure try. :(
We have enough abuse the way it is. Just think how it is when no family is allowed in the facility.
When my pappaw was in the nursing home there was an old man with Alzheimer and he would sit all day and spin the wheels on a little truck he held in his hand. Sometimes he would drop the truck and he was just staring in to space. If I noticed I would pick the truck up and put in his hand and he would start spinning the wheels again.
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Our family is taking care of grandma who is in her 80's. My dad built a home about 10 years ago on the adjacent property so he looks in on her ever evening and we play games and do puzzles. I'm thankful we can do that because of all the horror stories regarding nursing homes and especially right now!
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they are the most likely to get it
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I think that it's for prevention for the elderly who are highly in a higher risk rate because of their age. Not because they want to stop families from visiting. I think though facilities should create free comunication choices to get families to see their elderly relatives from a far.
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It's really sad when they can't have visitors because I'm sure this makes them feel very lonely. My mom was in a nursing home for rehab many years ago and I almost lived at that place. I would show up night and day to make sure she was being treated right but you can't do that now. Some of those caregivers are in the wrong line of work but some are great and love what they do.
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My husband works at a nursing home in our area; they just opened back up to limited visitors but only on the outside on the facility in the patio area and everyone still has to wear a mask and the number of visitors per resident is still limited.That's fine for now, but not sure how they are going to handle when winter returns given that this virus is still expected to be floating around.
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I really feel for you, not being able to see your Dad in person. Maybe you should get him a smartphone so at least he will be able to Facetime or Zoom with the other members of your family. It isn't ideal, but it is better than no visiting at all.
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Since this virus my dad has had to enter a home. Now that the states are opening back up. I don't understand why the homes cant reopen to visitors. I think they can find a safe way to do this. I mean like the court house takes your temp before entering and the staff is behind plexiglass. The restaurants are open with limited seating. They are coming up with crazy plans about opening schools. By the way I hate those ideas. I would hate to be a student and have to go to school like that. Any back to the nursing homes. I think they can find away to allow safe visits. Other than talking on a cell phone through the window. Put masks on go outside keep your distance. I think it would do my Dad a world of good to see my Mom that way.
I am sorry you can't visit your Dad at this time. But surely you understand that because of the age of some of the people, you aren't allowed inside. Also a lot of people doesn't properly stick to the 6 foot social distancing or wear a mask.
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I know the nursing homes in my area have not had a problem but there is a veterans home that got hit pretty good on the other side of my town. I think about 10 people died from the virus up there.