FC Community

Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: cloudsoup on June 03, 2012, 08:09:10 pm

Title: negative work environment
Post by: cloudsoup on June 03, 2012, 08:09:10 pm
how do you deal with a jealous, passive aggressive or negative co-workers?

i deal with this on a daily basis. i realize that i shouldn't
take it personally and that the root of the problem lies within
the serious insecurities of others... but my kindness-shaped
knife just isn't killing 'em fast enough ::)
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: falcon9 on June 04, 2012, 12:54:33 am
how do you deal with a jealous, passive aggressive or negative co-workers?

Depending upon the degree of severity of the problem, (ranging from 'personality conflicts' to actually interfering with the workload), I'd either cease interacting with them/reduce any interactions to the bare minimum required to get the work done or, continue to maintain a higher level of work performance than they could ever attain.  If those didn't affect them, sometimes total/complete silence would.

i deal with this on a daily basis. i realize that i shouldn't
take it personally and that the root of the problem lies within
the serious insecurities of others... but my kindness-shaped
knife just isn't killing 'em fast enough ::)

Eventually, most people come to realize that 'killing them with kindness' is a much slower death than they probably bargained for, (that, and it doesn't work).   
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: scollontrade on June 04, 2012, 03:58:40 am
I am 70 years old and the ONE thing I have learned about relationships at work or other areas of life is that there are some people that are going to do their best to make life miserable for me. I do try the kindness card to the max. If that does not work I limit my interaction with them as much as possible. However, eventually I had to decide to remove myself from that environment even if it meant living a different lifestyle. I am MUCH happier now. Good luck! :)
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: brenspencer on June 04, 2012, 04:26:20 am
I worked at a place where the boss was nice to you but talking behind your back and every one else he was the drama queen of the work place did that for 3 months and then everytime I tried to take a vacation day I was entitled to he would tell me I couldn't for one reason or another. Every place has that person who likes to make the day as miserable as possible ignore and go on.
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: kolathegreat on June 04, 2012, 06:26:47 am
how do you deal with a jealous, passive aggressive or negative co-workers?

i deal with this on a daily basis. i realize that i shouldn't
take it personally and that the root of the problem lies within
the serious insecurities of others... but my kindness-shaped
knife just isn't killing 'em fast enough ::)

You need to first get saved and call on jesus then pray that get saved at work
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: ckaliszewski on June 04, 2012, 11:59:46 am
I am lucky, I haven't really dealt with a bad work environment. I usually get along with pretty much everyone, which helps at work.
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: Barbaralynne on June 04, 2012, 12:25:28 pm
This is a tough one, I just started a new job and I have this problem too, management knows, but doesn't care. Some days I try the killing with kindness.Somedays I grit my teeth.
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: hlvhome on June 04, 2012, 12:36:24 pm
I agree that there will always be negative people, the best you can do it you have to stay in the situation is not let it effect you. Stay tru to your self, try to have little interation and be nice. I always try to remeber that I don't not know everthing about a person so I cant judge them. Good luck and stay postive
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: falcon9 on June 04, 2012, 01:24:54 pm
You need to first get saved and call on jesus then pray that get saved at work

Although there's no way to know whether or not you currently work in such an environment, "kola", I have no doubts whatsoever that such overt proselytizing would be a cause of a negative work environment.

"Religion is based ... mainly upon fear ... fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death. Fear is the parent of cruelty, and therefore it is no wonder if cruelty and religion have gone hand in hand . . . . My own view on religion is that of Lucretius. I regard it as a disease born of fear and as a source of untold misery to the human race."
-- Bertrand Russell
                           (http://i50.tinypic.com/34p0uvo.gif)
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: cloudsoup on June 04, 2012, 05:54:59 pm
Depending upon the degree of severity of the problem, (ranging from 'personality conflicts' to actually interfering with the workload), I'd either cease interacting with them/reduce any interactions to the bare minimum required to get the work done or, continue to maintain a higher level of work performance than they could ever attain.  If those didn't affect them, sometimes total/complete silence would.

Eventually, most people come to realize that 'killing them with kindness' is a much slower death than they probably bargained for, (that, and it doesn't work).  


reducing the interaction did help for awhile. i was keeping
my distance, but she must have ran out of things to talk about
regarding me and needed new fuel for her fire, so she started
approaching me again recently with passive aggressive comments
and digging for any information she can get. it's both comical and
pathetic to watch unfold, honestly...

i definitely do maintain a higher level of work performance, which
i'm pretty sure is half her problem! :angry7:

i've tried so hard not to let her get to me. i wish she'd give it up.
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: falcon9 on June 04, 2012, 06:11:36 pm
reducing the interaction did help for awhile. i was keeping
my distance, but she must have ran out of things to talk about
regarding me and needed new fuel for her fire, so she started
approaching me again recently with passive aggressive comments
and digging for any information she can get. it's both comical and
pathetic to watch unfold, honestly...

i definitely do maintain a higher level of work performance, which
i'm pretty sure is half her problem! :angry7:

i've tried so hard not to let her get to me. i wish she'd give it up.

Oftentimes, a complaint to H.R., (or the person's supervisor), may help, (or occasionally backfire).  I used to know a woman at work who would do this when bothered, (although I'm not personally recommending the method):

"The Voodoo Death Doll Hex"

During the time of the Waning Moon, fashion a poppet from red wax
and name it to be thy victim. Dress it with Destruction Oil and
sprinkle it with some Damnation Powder.

Await the time of the Dark of the Moon, and light a red candle
and some Incense.

In the flame of the candle heat a sharp thorn and insert it into
the poppet's heart.

Start mumbling a subvocalized chant, (pseudo-latin is nice), and every so often, whisper words like 'shadows' and 'upon my tormentor'."
*********

The results were hilarious and no valid complaint could be made against her since she left the candles & incense unlit, used unfolded paperclips instead of pins and white-out in lieu of "destruction oil and damnation powder".
 :o
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: Tresbn00 on June 04, 2012, 06:17:02 pm
I would ask myself a few questions. Is there any way of ignoring them...or do you need to interract with them in order to complete projects?  Are there other jobs out there that would make you just as happy?  Have you followed the chain of command to see if they can intercede to create a better (and probably more productive) work environment?  The negativity that you are suffering from will carry into your personal life and start to detiorate the life that you have out of work.  It may begin to weigh on the quality of your work and ultimately end up costing you a job.  There has to be some proactive way of tackling this problem with out making it worse.
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: cloudsoup on June 04, 2012, 06:46:55 pm
I would ask myself a few questions. Is there any way of ignoring them...or do you need to interract with them in order to complete projects?  Are there other jobs out there that would make you just as happy?  Have you followed the chain of command to see if they can intercede to create a better (and probably more productive) work environment?  The negativity that you are suffering from will carry into your personal life and start to detiorate the life that you have out of work.  It may begin to weigh on the quality of your work and ultimately end up costing you a job.  There has to be some proactive way of tackling this problem with out making it worse.

yes, i can easily do my job and avoid her, for the most part,
unless she approaches me first. i keep the small talk very small
of course, and she eventually gets bored. she's just ruthless.
i enjoy my job otherwise.

luckily my manager is pretty fair and a good listener. i made
him aware of the problem a year ago when it started, and he's
told me if it comes down to it, he will make time to have a ''pow wow''
with all three of us. i just don't want to seem like i can't handle
myself... or come off as a ''whistle blower'' of sorts. but lately it
has sounded more and more like a good idea.



falcon9, hahah! you know, if i struck up a conversation with
her hinting that i was into witchcraft, she'd undoubtedly sprint to
the nearest coworker to spill the beans. the funny part is, she'd
sound like a nutcase, especially to those who think she has a screw
loose anyway. and i'd be doing this:

:dontknow:

lol. i'm mentally noting this idea!

Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: mom2taz on June 04, 2012, 08:05:03 pm
This is a tough one, I just started a new job and I have this problem too, management knows, but doesn't care. Some days I try the killing with kindness.Somedays I grit my teeth.

Same here....although I think our management does care....it's just the nature of the work environment...and not a battle they choose to address...too many bigger fish to fry....so i grit my teeth a lot...bite my tongue a lot....and laugh a lot....

one thing I am realizing....there are fewer and fewer younger people who truly comprehend what "work ethic" means....
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: vicogden on June 04, 2012, 11:31:27 pm
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em... try a little reverse psychology and give them a dose of their own medicine.  Then when they react "negatively" to your negativity, ask them how it feels...
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: falcon9 on June 05, 2012, 12:29:19 am
falcon9, hahah! you know, if i struck up a conversation with
her hinting that i was into witchcraft, she'd undoubtedly sprint to
the nearest coworker to spill the beans. the funny part is, she'd
sound like a nutcase, especially to those who think she has a screw
loose anyway. and i'd be doing this:

:dontknow:

lol. i'm mentally noting this idea!

Wicca, Witchcraft, voodoun ... doesn't matter - acknowledge nothing, do it on a break and remember to mutter the chanting semi-audibly. Naturally, this type of pseudo-banishing "spell" works best on pseudo-xtians however, even ones who don't believe in such things will have that tiny bit of non-doubt in the back of their minds, (which is essentially how voodoun/"voodoo" 'works').  To me, it's harmless, does not invoke "satan", "daemons" or "angelic demons", is perfectly permissible under the freedom of religion regulations, (wicca is a federally-recognised religion and any persecution of wiccans can become a federal offense quicker than the offender can thump a bible).

As I may not have mentioned, I've now seen it 'work', (or variations of the same technique), used on three separate occassions - at three different places of employment.  As you said, you can always retain plausible-deniability, (assuming that you're not actually a wiccan, witch or voudoun priest/ess). 
 :o
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: duroz on June 05, 2012, 06:53:38 am
cloudsoup-
You should first try the "NON-suggestion" falcon9 posted -

"The Voodoo Death Doll Hex"  :o

                       (http://i.imgur.com/OE5kg.jpg)


Then.....if THAT doesn't do it, try THIS next 
Quote from: kolathegreat
You need to first get saved and call on jesus then pray that get saved at work

No DON'T try that next!!
(or any other time........)
Instead - KEEP LOOKING and ASKING for more ideas.
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: Cuppycake on June 05, 2012, 07:06:53 am
how do you deal with a jealous, passive aggressive or negative co-workers?

Depending upon the degree of severity of the problem, (ranging from 'personality conflicts' to actually interfering with the workload), I'd either cease interacting with them/reduce any interactions to the bare minimum required to get the work done or, continue to maintain a higher level of work performance than they could ever attain.  If those didn't affect them, sometimes total/complete silence would.

i deal with this on a daily basis. i realize that i shouldn't
take it personally and that the root of the problem lies within
the serious insecurities of others... but my kindness-shaped
knife just isn't killing 'em fast enough ::)

Eventually, most people come to realize that 'killing them with kindness' is a much slower death than they probably bargained for, (that, and it doesn't work).   
It CAN work. It really depends on what it is they are jealous about. If it is something you can openly show off in a way that does not seem like rubbing it in their face. You can be very nice to them while at the same time provoke a response that seems uncalled for and will end in them being shunned.
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: duroz on June 05, 2012, 07:29:49 am
Or........
maybe try THIS?
(http://i.imgur.com/B6CTG.jpg)
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: southernhorizons on June 05, 2012, 08:22:02 am
I don't have any problems at my work right now, but at another place where I used to work a few years ago, there were a few people that had it in for me and hated me for no apparent reason (well, I think it was because as a line leader, I made sure they WORKED, which they hated; they were very lazy). I usually just tried to be polite, and got satisfaction out of seeing how annoyed it made them! I certainly avoided any small talk/ unnecessary interaction as much as possible.
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: brum7814 on June 05, 2012, 08:51:02 am
Like they say...don't worry about things you can't control.  I wouldn't waste my work time figuring out ways to deal with people.  Doing solid work and maintaining what ever company policy you work for will help ensure you're out performing people who are wasting their time trying to play games at the office.
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: agent008 on June 05, 2012, 09:39:42 am
ya i just love negative work enviroments lol... I had a simular situation... kept my distance until she either had no more dirt to talk about me or ran out of other dirt on other people and tried to get more... I kept the small talk and when she started to ask about personal life I started talking about work related stuff... eventually I had to set the boundary of dont talk to me unless its about work related topics...... and had to keep reminding her of that.... and then the last time she asked me about something personal and I told her loud so and clear so other people would hear me.... I said "I am tired of you asking me about my personal life especially after you go and talk about me behind my back... this is my final time of telling you do not talk about me unless it is work related you are not even in my department and really have no reason to come over here.. I do not want to be your friend, I am your colleuge and I want it to stay that way so back off..." she was so embarrased and tried to report me to my boss for talking to her badly and creating a negative work enviroment until my boss told her that she was in the wrong and I was setting a boundry
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: cloudsoup on June 05, 2012, 10:36:21 pm
It CAN work. It really depends on what it is they are jealous about. If it is something you can openly show off in a way that does not seem like rubbing it in their face. You can be very nice to them while at the same time provoke a response that seems uncalled for and will end in them being shunned.

i do like the sound of that, but how exactly?


Or........
maybe try THIS?
(http://i.imgur.com/B6CTG.jpg)

hahah, nice! i should print that out and put it on my locker  ;)
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: johnvon23 on June 05, 2012, 11:40:01 pm
having nice set of friends really help out when you're at work. Tasks seems hard to do when there's barriers in working relationship. We must have good work ethics and we are there to work. But i don't mean that all work and no play. We need to treat each other with utmost respect to make tasks done easier ... Harmony my friends ... harmony and cooperation is the key.
Title: Re: negative work environment
Post by: handllucas on June 11, 2012, 05:34:11 pm
The most important thing is to not let their actions and personalities change WHO YOU ARE.
If the situation is completely unbearable see HR for suggestions or possible transfers.
If all else fails, you may need to change jobs.
It is a very tough situation and a touger decision.
I wish you luck.