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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: dwiley11 on June 26, 2017, 04:32:13 pm

Title: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: dwiley11 on June 26, 2017, 04:32:13 pm
I think that you get one shot,  after you get divorced, the risk is too high to chance another.  Half of half is a quarter, but in my case half for me was a nickel.  Think about it.  Plus I will not deal with stuff I used too.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: linderlizzie on June 26, 2017, 04:50:09 pm
The next one can be good if you don't repeat all the same things you did the first time.

Make the other person more important than you and you have a good shot of having a happy marriage.

It doesn't hurt to put God first, then your spouse and then you. Divorce has a lot to do with selfishness, in my opinion. :notworthy:


:fish:
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: davidh121 on June 26, 2017, 05:39:38 pm
If I ever got divorced, I definitely would be skeptical and extremely cautionary on choosing another partner.  Everyone will evaluate the worth of remarrying.  Some people cannot be content without a partner, while others fine happiness single.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: hitch0403 on June 26, 2017, 05:40:25 pm
True love covers a multitude of sins.

Of course the word love itself is taken for granted and the meaning of it is not used as it should be.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: ladavia89 on June 26, 2017, 06:17:47 pm
It depends on the reason for the divorce and the age of the person. Some divorce happens because it was rushed into and you didn't really know the person well enough. Some divorces happen because people marry so young than once they actually grow and age they're no longer compatible. Other divorces are because of cheating or lack of communication.  If you were just with the wrong person another marriage isn't doomed. If it's because of certain character flaws you have to work on yourself before you get in any other relationship
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: Tresbn00 on June 26, 2017, 06:49:53 pm
If at first you don't succeed; try, try again. I have been married over twenty three years and could not imagine getting remarried. Some people need t have a steady relationship. I have never really been in need...we are a pretty good match. I think that the older you get, the more set in your ways you become. I meet people, all the time, that I think would be fun to date but could not imagine marrying any of them. Perhaps just give it some time, take it slow and easy, I am sure someone will cross your path that you will you can not live without. My father and mother were divorced when I was twelve (forty two years ago) and my father has never re-married because he believes marriage is forever. Good luck to you!
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: tnshpalmer85 on June 26, 2017, 09:20:15 pm
I am divorced and I am open to getting married again one day. When I got married the first time I was 21years old and he was 22 years old. I think if we waited and gave each other more time to grow we probably could have lasted longer or went our separate ways sooner. I learned a lot since I was 21 years old and if the opportunity comes again, I know it will be different than my first marriage. I just want to be happy and I am not saying never to anything because you just don't know what opportunities may come up in life.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: bshee58 on June 27, 2017, 05:37:03 am
I got married in 86 and divorced in 92, so I stayed single then met someone and had a child in 97, she is the apple and joy of my life. Didn't get involved with anyone, cause I was very cautious about getting involved with someone when you have a daughter in the house, I would nut up if he touched my child. So had to wait until it was the right time to start back dating someone, he turned out to be ok for a while, then this past Father's day  he just called it off, saying he wasn't appreciated  :o,that was a shocker. So i asked God to tell me what I should do next, and in church my Pastor talked about someone keeping you in sin, holding you back from doing his work, so I had gotten my answer, don't back track, keep looking forward, God has your plans already laid out for you. If it's for you, then it will work out.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: lhz123 on June 27, 2017, 06:26:44 am
Yes, Me and husband are very happy and he is thankful that he tried again.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: oldbuddy on June 27, 2017, 06:29:51 am
I was married for eight years to my first wife and got a divorce after multiple incidents of her being unfaithful, but remarried a divorced partner with two kids shortly after the divorce was final (then added four more) and it has lasted 46 years so far (for which we are both happy). I think it was absolutely worth it.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: camellia0 on June 27, 2017, 06:50:31 am
There is someone out there for all of us. Just because one marriage failed, don't give up. The next person you meet, I am sure that you will take your time and if there are red flags, you will see them. Just don't rush in to it. Take the time to get to know the person, it may take years, but take you time. That's all we have is time.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: sak4kat on June 27, 2017, 07:39:47 am
I've been married a couple of times.  And believe the 3rd time is a charm.  Divorce isn't about one person's wrong.  There are two ... without getting into details there were reasons I divorced.  One safety was an issue.  And Two I have 3 kids.  I was thinking of them when I mentioned divorce. I've become closer to the Lord as I've gotten older.  But divorcing for survival is something I'll never regret.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: debidoo on June 27, 2017, 08:30:32 am
Interesting question.  I am 63 and my husband of 33 years died in 2013.  It was a rocky marriage with lots of ups and downs but we loved each other and I miss him.  Sometimes I need and wish for companionship and think I would get married again in a second but then some days I think best to leave well enough alone.  I don't know I don't think people were meant to be alone but heck I don't know.  Best luck to you in figuring this one out.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: Sawman214 on June 27, 2017, 08:54:14 am
I agree once is enough. Love doesn't come back the same way so marriage is out of the question for ever more.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: jkhanson on June 27, 2017, 09:05:01 am
I think everyone has a unique set of circumstances.  Just because one marriage failed, does not doom you forever.  I have friends and family members who have divorced and later remarried.  Their second marriage has been the best relationship ever.

Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: danmo783 on June 27, 2017, 10:00:44 am
I will be 34 on July 29th, and I have zero plans to get married. I meet a lot of women and can't seem to connect with any of them. I am actually growing out a thick beard now to not be bothered looking clean cut... I don't want to meet any more women. I've met a dozen or so in the last month after the pool opened here at my apartments. It doesn't matter who I talk to, whether they are "supermodels" or "average."

Looks become less and less important to me as the years go on. Naturally someone will be attracted to the "better looking women" and women the same toward men, but in the end, we'll all be old and wrinkly one day lol. My main issue is that connection. Totally different views on the world.
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: clickers on June 27, 2017, 10:59:47 am
Yes, it is absolutely worth it, to try again! Each person is different. What happened in your previous marriage shouldn't be reason to cause you to not try again. Marriage isn't perfect so the other person will bring their own challenges. You need to weigh the pros and cons and decide the best solution. Just because you face a dilemma in your marriage it shouldn't have to end in divorce. Always keep an open heart, and love will find it's way in!
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: Skyisbluetoday on June 27, 2017, 02:54:01 pm
I think it depends on the relationship for another marriage. The first one didn't work but doesn't mean the next one won't!
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: judylucas on June 27, 2017, 04:52:42 pm
I married the second time and it lasted over 47 years  So very glad I took a second chance
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: adriarobi on June 28, 2017, 04:26:02 am
I got married the first time to get out of the house many years ago.  My husband did the same for other reasons. Very bad combo.  We had three great kids, but the marriage did not last. "Women's Lib" was new, and told me it was cool to quit and try again.

Married a second time for all the wrong, but different, reasons.  It was worse.

I don't make good decisions that way.

Now, I am satisfied being a grandmother, and great-grandma. Much, much better for me.

 :rose:
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: sbenkoski on June 28, 2017, 11:28:47 am
If I ever got divorced, I definitely would be skeptical and extremely cautionary on choosing another partner.  Everyone will evaluate the worth of remarrying.  Some people cannot be content without a partner, while others fine happiness single.

I hear you on the can't be content being without a partner... i know a woman who has been married 8 times and still trying for number 9, I'd think guys would run.  And shes only 40 some years old. I enjoy my time alone not answering to anyone but my dog. 
Title: Re: marriage, is it really worth doing it after one failed
Post by: danmo783 on June 28, 2017, 02:48:25 pm
My parents have 4 divorces combined. Being married would be the equivalent of life in prison after all I've seen.