Topics

1081

Off-Topic / Happy November everyone

« on: November 01, 2011, 03:42:15 am »Message ID: 440155

I hope you all have a safe and successful month 

1082

Off-Topic / Thought of the day!!

« on: November 01, 2011, 03:11:33 am »Message ID: 440144

"You may make mistakes, but you are not a failure until you start blaming someone else."

1083

Off-Topic / Should you force your child to apologize?

« on: November 01, 2011, 03:05:54 am »Message ID: 440142

I think if your child does something wrong to someone they should be made to say i'm sorry...what do you think?

1084

Off-Topic / The Green Thing

« on: October 29, 2011, 11:50:15 am »Message ID: 438841

Checking  out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she  should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for  the environment.
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't  have this green thing back in my earlier days."
The clerk  responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough  to save our environment for future generations."
She was right --  our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
 

Back then,  we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The  store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and  refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really  were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our  day.
 

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in  every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't  climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.  But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
 

Back  then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away  kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine  burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes  back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers  or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right.  We didn't have the green thing back in our day.
 

Back then, we had  one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a  small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the  size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by  hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old  newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.  Back then,  we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We  used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we  didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on  electricity. But she's right.  We didn't have the green thing back  then.
 

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of  using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We  refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we  replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole  razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing  back then.
 

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus, and kids  rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a  24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an  entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a  computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles  out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
 

But isn't it  sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
 

Please forward  this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart-mouth young person.
Remember:  Don't make old people mad.
We don't  like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tee us  off.
 
 
 
 

1085

Off-Topic / Writen by a black man!!

« on: October 29, 2011, 04:18:01 am »Message ID: 438620

This was written by a black gentleman in Texas and is so funny. What a great sense of humour...
And creative!!!

When U Black, U Black

When I was born, I was BLACK,
When I grew up, I was BLACK,
When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK,
When I got cold, I was BLACK,
When I was scared, I was BLACK,
When I was sick, I was BLACK,
And when I die, I'll still be BLACK.

NOW, You 'white' folks......

When you're born, you're PINK,
When you grow-up, you're WHITE,
When you go in the sun, you get RED,
When you're cold, you turn BLUE,
When you're scared, you're YELLOW,
When you get sick, you're GREEN
When you bruise, you turn PURPLE,
And when you die, you look GRAY.
So why y'all be callin' us
COLORED Folks?

1086

Off-Topic / Thought of the day!!

« on: October 28, 2011, 03:50:25 am »Message ID: 438220

"A sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the unbearable."

   

1087

Off-Topic / Thought of the day!!

« on: October 25, 2011, 05:34:26 am »Message ID: 436919

"If someone listens, or stretches out a hand, or whispers a word of encouragement, or attempts to understand a lonely person, extraordinary things begin to happen."

   

1088

Off-Topic / Thank you FC

« on: October 19, 2011, 10:54:54 am »Message ID: 434438

How do I show that I got paid today?  thank you soooo much!!

1089

Off-Topic / Stress Management

« on: October 19, 2011, 05:35:40 am »Message ID: 434279

 

A young lady confidently walked around the room while explaining stress management to an audience. With a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'..... she fooled them all... "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile.
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden

So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... pick them up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax, pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it and the now 'supposed' stress that you've conquered!"

1. Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4. Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it..

7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8. Never buy a car you can't push.

9. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 . Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12. The second mouse gets the cheese.

13. When every thing's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

16. Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17. We could learn a lot from crayons . . .
Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
Some have weird names and all are different colors,
but they all have to live in the same box.

18. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

19. Have an awesome day and know that someone thought about you today.

20. It was me, your friend!

*Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate.
 
 

 

1090

Off-Topic / ENGLISH

« on: October 19, 2011, 04:25:44 am »Message ID: 434267

This took a lot of work to put together!  You think Enlish is easy?
 

 

I think a retired English teacher was bored.
 

Read all the way to the end..it is very interesting.

 



1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?



Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .  Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?


You lovers of the English language might enjoy this ....

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.

When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,

for now my time is UP,

so........it is time to shut UP!

Now it's UP to you what you do with this email.
 

 
 

 

1091

Off-Topic / Todays chuckle

« on: October 18, 2011, 06:27:55 am »Message ID: 433897

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed  to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint  and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

1092

Off-Topic / Thought of the day !!

« on: October 18, 2011, 05:34:31 am »Message ID: 433873

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone."   

 

1093

Off-Topic / Do you rake your leaves?

« on: October 17, 2011, 05:15:11 am »Message ID: 433356

I like to rake but my bf says to leave them there they make a good mulch 

1094

Off-Topic / Thought of the day!!

« on: October 17, 2011, 05:10:25 am »Message ID: 433351

"Make a game of finding something positive in every situation. Ninety-five percent of your emotions are determined by how you interpret events to yourself."   

1095

Off-Topic / Thought of the day!!

« on: October 14, 2011, 03:52:50 am »Message ID: 432105

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."