Is is your responsibility to tattle if you see someone cheating on thier spouse?

[klvcaudillo]

Years ago I saw a married man out with a younger woman who was not his wife.  I felt the need to tell the woman what I say her hubby doing.  All my friends did too.  When I did tell her she hated me after that.  Was I right to tell her or should I have just ignored and stayed out of it?  Now being married myself I would want some one to tell me if my husband was cheating!   
PS They did end up getting a divorce! 

[thanhkle2003]

The same thing happened to me when I was in high school. My best friend decided to hook up with one of my former-boyfriend's bestfriend. The guy was a complete looser in my opinion and she went behind my back to date him. She was so secretive that I didn't know if I should tell her that he was cheating on her with other girls. After some time, I decided to let her know that he was with other girls when we had parties. She pretended not to care because they had nothing going on.
I saw them one day at the park together and decided it was the best time to confront him. She hated me since...

[sgluckadoo]

depends on the situation. i would definately confront the cheater just to make them sweat!

[laceybriglia]

I think what you did was awesome  
I know I would want someone to tell me if my boyfriend of 4 yesrs was cheating on me.. I wouldn't even care if it were a complete stranger telling me. That is just something that someone should know. It would be wrong not to tell someone... I understand not wanting to get in the middle... but it's just the right thing to do.
Honestly I don't think she really hates you... It's just when she thinks of you she starts to think of how her husband cheated and she gets angry. I don't think she hates you for telling her I just think she hates the fact that her husband cheated on her.

[StephaBon]

That's a pretty hard question.  Just telling the loyal spouse could just ruin their whole relationship.  I think the best thing would be to confront the person cheating before telling the other.  Tell that person that you mean business and that they better clean their act up, and if they don't that you'll talk to the other.  I think that if you could set the disloyal partner straight, their true marriage could flourish.  Don't waste a good thing.  The cheater should talk to their spouse and get counseling.  I'd say to do whatever you do gently so as not to break someone's life in half in one sentence.

[eduby]

When someone is in love they are likely to turn on the person breaking the bad news to them instead of believing that their loved one is doing something so hurtful.  In my first marriage my best friend tried to tell me, but I didn't believe or listen to her, and ended up not speaking to her for six months.  We got back in touch eventually and then after we'd been friends again for a little while I caught him cheating and felt kind of bad for not listening to her in the first place.  She was amazing though and was there for me, never saying I told you so.

[AmyTrivitt]

I believe it is not tattling one bit. Honestly you are saving a person from being blinded for who knows how long. I have told a great friend of mine that her husband has and was cheating on her with a girl that we together assumed as our friend. Yes sides maybe drawn in a relationship. But I had enough information that she took on her own and left him. She later thanked me for having the courage to tell her. I in return would want the same from a friendship perspective. If this is the question that haunts you would you step up if you seen a friends child doing drugs?? Getting beat?? Life is not fair and yes you may loose a friend but if they are a real good friend they will see. And if you are a better friend you will tell.

[jylianhunt]

i think if you know them personally you deffinatley should. if you dont know them it is your concious. if you can deal with it and not let anyone know that is your choice. how i always do it is think what would i want if i were in that situation.

[Hope4dsoul09]

I would like someone to tell me...so i would tell on someone else but as far as it being my RESPONSIBILITY, nah, its not mine its THEIRS to stay faithful to their spouse!

[Sweetpea94]

Being someone that was cheated on I think that my view on whether or not to tell someone has changed.  I would tell.  I use to think I wouldn't because it was none of my business and how could the person being cheated on not already know.  But I now see things very differently.  I wish someone would of told me becIause when I did find out, I had friends and family telling me they already knew and had wanted to tell me.  I think we have a moral obligation to those we care for to tell them when we know they are gonna be or get hurt.  They may hate us for a while because they'll want someone to blame but eventually it will all work out, well except for maybe the relationship in question.

[play2win96]

definatly

[Falconer02]

I would not. If you ignite it, it'll explode in your face on both ends. It's really none of any third-parties business until both are aware of the situation. And even then, it's still a burning matter. Don't step in the fire.

[mseals]

you right to tell the wify but sometime people arent ready or in denial thinking you want there man

[florezitta10]

I was put in this situation a few years ago. My brother was doing the cheating and his wife happens to be my best friend (at theat time they were not married but they were living together. Now they have a beautiful baby girl and Have the second one on the way. She thanks me all the time for having the guts to tell her.) so I had to tell her.

 I would have told her even if she wasn't my friend. I was cheated on before and I hated everyone around me for knowing and not telling me I felt so betrayed.

I can not understand how people can just stand around and watch something like that happen and not do anything about it.

 I just think that is wrong in every way imaginable. But everyone is different I know I just don't think I could call my self any ones friend and let them live with a person the diminishes them to cockroach status but again that's just My Opinion

[littlemissjbird]

I say it's not your business, but don't be a liar either. If the victim of the cheating confronts you about it--by all means, let them know.  But I wouldn't make an issue out of something that could only cause more trouble.  Accountability becomes a huge blur at that point.