Having a stroke and cheating spouse.

[Lusie]

Not sure how I wanted to title this. The short of the story is my best friend had 2 anuerysims which caused a major stroke at the end of September. We nearly lost him that night. They had to cut half of his skull off to remove a baseball size blood clot. His wife stayed with him non stop the first week in the hospital. As the weeks went by the less she was with him until the last week he was in there she was not there at all. He was only there for a month. I had to quit my job to take care of him because he needs some one there 24/7 until he can get his skull replaced. When he came home she only came around once a week for a few hours and hardly talked to him at all. Found out for sure Thanksgiving she had been cheating on him for at least a month. Sad thing is she just got out of jail back in June and he stood by her and supported her the year and a half she was in there.

Once her family found out what was going on they moved us in with them so I could get a job and some one would be with him while I was out. Now she tries to talk to him every day. Only thing is she is always wanting something from him. I know he is hurting because of all if this, but I can not understand how you can say you love some one and will never leave or hurt them but as soon as things get bad you take off on the first gravy train that accepts you.

Any thoughts on this?

[Snoozey]

This sounds like an impossible situation. How could someone say that they love you and then treat you like this when you need them the most?
I know it can be hard if you love someone and want to see the best in them, but sometimes that's not possible.

[poppy1]

What does he say about the situation?     Love is very funny at times   You sound like you have a good   But, when he gets well, will he divorce ? What is your angle?   What do you want?

[Lusie]

What does he say about the situation?     Love is very funny at times   You sound like you have a good   But, when he gets well, will he divorce ? What is your angle?   What do you want?

He is not happy about any of this. When he first found out that she was cheating he told her if she would come back at that point he would forgive her as long as it did not happen again. She said she could not promise it would not happen again and refused to come home. My concern is that now that he is out of her reach, she is stringing him along to keep his interest so she will have a safe guard when she needs it as she has done before. I am tired of seeing him hurt because of this child. She has tried to split our friendship up before he got sick. Right now what I want is irrelevant. He and I have been best friends for about 25 years. I want him to get better and to be happy. I have been told many times that I am going beyond friendship but neither of us have family close enough to help and I do not mind doing so. I just do not like how it was done.

[dreamyxo]

Unfortunately #$@! happens.  No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors.  If I were you I would stay out of it.  It's noble of you to care for your friend and put your own financial well being in jeopardy and quit your job to take care of a friend (couldn't be me).  Good luck finding a new job.

[mrstina08]

This is very sad and touching. The wife really needs a reality check. It could have been her. I hope he can forgive and she gets it together.

[ajann1983]

Well that fact that she told him she can't promise that she won't cheat again should let him know that keeping her around wouldn't be a good idea. He needs to focus on his health and well-being and let her go. He has enough to worry about without her bringing around more drama.

[Lusie]

He needs to focus on his health and well-being and let her go. He has enough to worry about without her bringing around more drama.

That is one of the issues right now. While we were just a stones throw away from her she would hardly talk to him. Now that he is an hours drive away and not as easy to get to she will text him just about every day. A lot of times it is only because she wants some thing and she gets hateful when she does not get her way. I honestly do not want anything to do with her because she told me I needed to do something I would never do to help them pay their bills. The problem is he is not able to convey his thoughts and I am the one stuck talking to her.

[Lusie]

If I were you I would stay out of it.  It's noble of you to care for your friend and put your own financial well being in jeopardy and quit your job to take care of a friend (couldn't be me).  Good luck finding a new job.

I really can not stay out of it. The three of us have been room mates since June. I knew she did not want to take care of him. She said she would support the household if I stayed home to care for him. He is a life long friend so I have no issues with helping him out like this.

 It's noble of you to care for your friend and put your own financial well being in jeopardy and quit your job to take care of a friend (couldn't be me).

I have been told this by many people. They are surprised by my actions. As I see it though he is my best friend and we only have each other to rely on here. Or so I thought lol

[d1cheetah]

Wow, too much drama for me.  If you are living there she may be asking you to contribute, but if you are also providing 24 hour care when not at work, there's more to it than that.  Sounds like a sitution that will turn out bad for you and him.  I hope not for your sake.  Good luck and maybe pray about it if that's a part of your heart. 

[clickers]

I think it's indecent. The person she has hooked up with I hope he's taking notes because she will do the same to him. Some people can be very low down. The marriage vow...states "in sickness and in health." In sickness is when the person needs you the most.

[kingozzy]

that is horrible luck

[workmama]

He needs to seriously move on without her and be with you in my opinion. What pisses me off is that he told her that he would forgive her and she couldn't promise that she wouldn't cheat again!!! I mean, really....  What a Godless woman. He deserves someone way better than her!!

[Lusie]

Wow, too much drama for me.  If you are living there she may be asking you to contribute, but if you are also providing 24 hour care when not at work, there's more to it than that.  Sounds like a sitution that will turn out bad for you and him.  I hope not for your sake.  Good luck and maybe pray about it if that's a part of your heart. 

Put it this way. When we were all living together he and I worked. We took turns cooking. Shared all the bills and I did the cleaning. Only thing she would do is wash dishes about twice a week and hang out with friends while we were at work.

He needs to seriously move on without her and be with you in my opinion. What pisses me off is that he told her that he would forgive her and she couldn't promise that she wouldn't cheat again!!! I mean, really....  What a Godless woman. He deserves someone way better than her!!

We all agree he deserves better, but he has to believe he does before anything more can come of any of this.

[derrick12480]

I always say no matter what you should be with your spouse through the good and bad no matter how hard and always be loyal.