Do you allow friends to come on family vacation?

[lgemini]

I am having a problem about not allowing my kids friends to come with us on our family vacation.  I have saved money for our family vacation.  I know that the friends family do not want to take a vacation saying they can not afford it.  I do let them know they are able to afford a vacation if you take 5 to 7 months to save for it.  We are not rich, just working  hard to save for things we want.  Our family vacation will be just for my kids and spouse.  We will go to Universal Studio for 2 days and go to several dinner shows like pirates and medieval dinner shows.  We will not go to Disney because my kids are bored with Disney all four parks.  I saved so my family will have a great time, but it is only for my family.  What do you think about this, am I wrong to feel like this?

[ssmsurvey]

Absolutely, not. Don't feel bad. Just because the TV and book stores are flooded with images of wealthy families taking their friends with them everywhere doesn't means the rest of us can afford that. You have saved money for a family trip. By allowing others to come along you would likely have to skip one of your dinner shows to pay for the extra park ticket for the friend.
I think when kids are older and there is a fiance or long term girl/boyfriend in the picture then it may be different. Of course, if the friends parents are willing to pay for them to go with you then you could consider it. Still, there is nothing wrong with wanting just your family with you on vacation.

[lywb2168]

Do not feel bad, for me I allow my kids to bring 1 friend each when they can pay their own expenses, $$ is hard to come by and I am not rich.  They ask and I tell them that as long as the paretns are OK and can pay for the trip is not problem with me.  i went to Orlando las Spring break and my youngest daughter asked me if she could bring her friend.  The mother called me and I toldher, no problem but she will need her own $$ for expenses like shopping, food and to any park we might go.  The other said no problem and she gave me the $$ cash to hold for the girl.  Problem solve.

But if they cannot afford their own trip then sorry but NO.  I will not let me girls go with anybody if I cannot afford it.  They ask and I tell them, well I do not have the $$ to spend it, and unless they can take you and pay for it then NO.  That is the way if should be.

[kapeh12]

Maybe it's just me, but when I was growing up, I always understood that a "family vacation" was just for the "family".  It never occurred to me to ask to invite friends on a family vacation.  Especially if the vacation was going to be extended - like your theme park vacation.  The whole purpose of the vacation was to spend time with the family, not having all us kids run off with friends like we did at home.

There were times where we would plan "group vacations" - where it would be several families planning a trip for the kids - was mostly a trip for the kids where parents were more chaperones.  These were mostly things like day trips (hiking, canoeing, water park, rollercoasters), or weekend camping trips.  The friends would pay for their own entrance fees or chip in for food - but the convenience for that was more ride sharing.

If the trip was planned with the understanding the child could take a friend along, I don't see anything wrong with it.  But if there was no intention of allowing friends, there should be no expectation to bring friends along.  Like you said - you planned and saved for it, so it should not be expected you pay for a non-family member to come along.  Even if the non-family member can pay their own way - if the intention was a trip just for the family, you should feel no guilt in saying "no" to them coming with you on this trip.

[Gerianne]

The guest/ friend should make a monetary contribution of some kind.
On the flip side, if the guest/friend cannot afford it, if you have the means to accommodate them,your child can invite them.
If you know months ahead of time, both children and yourself can prepare and set up a plan - the friend can save up money and so can you.
It all takes preparation.
It's good lesson to teach both your child and the friend.

[sak4kat]

Feel bad hardly.  When 2 responsible adults begin to have children it is up to them to raise them.  Provide for them.  And even take them on family vacations if that is a tradition and goal they have as a family.  My parents had 5 kids; There is a 11, 13, 15 & 17 year difference between me and my siblings.  They took one of my neighborhood friends to Disney when we were 10 years old.  Now I understand they did that so I would have someone to pal around with and go on the rides with.  It made the trip easier for them so to speak.  I have vacationed with my kids, one of my dear friends and her kids and we all had a nice time together.  However we saved to make it happen.  And you got it right...anyone can save to take a family trip.  It takes a while but that's what goals are all about.  And the trips don't need to be extravagant.

[ghunter]

No, I do not allow friends on my vacation.

[sommap]

Family vacations should be for family when you end up spending lots of money.  Our florida vactions are just for family.

In the summer we spend two weeks at a cabin at a nice resort.  We have had lots of company there and it is welcome.  The adult company usually buys dinner or food or something else. 

[donnainky]

Don't feel bad- a family vacation is a family thing. My son is an only child so there were times when I would allow him to take a friend with him. His friend would be responsable for his own spending money.

[banderson5]

YES! some friends are part of the family. some friends don't have a good family life at home. if this friend is very close and special and gets along with the family and your family doesn't mind, then why not?

[jwallbank]

I tried it once and it turned out to be a disaster, My kids and their friends wanted to do one thing and we wanted to do another. At least when you go just as a family you have more control of what you do!! When the kids gang up against you, it does no work out well. Don't feel bad - I personally feel a Vacation is for family, not the whole neighborhood!!

[africanclaudie]

I agree with all above comments. If a friend can pay their own way, then come along. If you have to cough up for them....then NO! If there's an only child, then it is usually beneficial bringing along a friend to keep him/her company, but a family vacation is usually the time when a family bonds and makes memories to last forever.

[johnvon23]

it depends... if we have like a small family and that friend of ours has been there for awhile but if its a big family and the vacation was sort of like a reunion then i would kinda say i'll think about it... in short, NO 

[ckaliszewski]

I have only ever been on one family vacation in my life because my family is so far from rich. I believe that the point of family vacations is family bonding, so it would be inappropriate for a friend to come.

[smithjcsdfw]

Well to put this in perspective the key words here are family vacation not family and friends vacation.  It is a good thing every now and than just to escape from the world of normal friends and acquatences to strengthen the bonds of a family.  Hee hee and sometimes it is good to get away from the family as well with a lititle me time.