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Topic: Illinois vs . Wisconsin  (Read 996 times)

cateyes1

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Illinois vs . Wisconsin
« on: August 21, 2012, 11:23:14 am »




Illinois:

The Governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"
and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what
is natural.

2. He calls animal control .. Animal Control captures the coyote and
bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the
State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game
conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of
dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote
awareness program" for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8 The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack.
The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with
additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit
against the State.


Wisconsin:

The Governor of Wisconsin is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A
Coyote jumps out and attacks the dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his concealed carry pistol and keeps
jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Crows eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why Illinois is broke and Wisconsin is not.






Falconer02

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Re: Illinois vs . Wisconsin
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2012, 11:42:43 am »
Pretty much! I hate Illinois at times. Worst gunlaws in the country and we are massively broke (I think were behind California now?). We have a new park in my town that I have labelled the "Gestapo Park" since there's constant security around plus a sign every 10 feet telling you what you can/can't do. I get nervous just walking around thinking I'm doing something wrong.

falcon9

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Re: Illinois vs . Wisconsin
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2012, 04:27:36 pm »
Pretty much! I hate Illinois at times. Worst gunlaws in the country and we are massively broke (I think were behind California now?). We have a new park in my town that I have labelled the "Gestapo Park" since there's constant security around plus a sign every 10 feet telling you what you can/can't do. I get nervous just walking around thinking I'm doing something wrong.

In reference to the 'parable'; doubtless some will impute that the governor of Illinois is a republican, (while others will infer a democrat), and some will view the Wisconsin governor as democrat, (or the reverse for others).
One can lead a horse to water however, if one holds the horse's head under, that horse will drown.

             

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