Friend In Trouble

[nycgal85]

If a friend is in trouble,
 don't annoy him by asking
"If there is anything I can do?"

Think up something appropriate and do it.

[makeblessed]

Agree, when someone is in distress, their mind is usually not focused on what they need to have others do; the best way to help is just look around, listen, see what needs to be done and just do it; your actions will be appreciated.

[mjdoug03]

Hmmm... not much to say on here. 

[sliebshner]

Also good advice.  Usually if you ask, they will tell you they don't need help when they really do.  I will try to remember this one.

[alice44]

I agree - actions will speak louder than words.  People in trouble often can't sort through what would help them out.  Just knowing you are there, sometimes can do the most good.

[sharg]

I know there has been time where you just take your friend for coffee it takes their mind off things for a short break .   My friend sends me cards and that always gives me a lift.

[cloudsoup]

i was going to suggest sending a card, too.

i sent an encouragement card to someone who was going
through a divorce. she said it was exactly what she needed
to hear. it was hard to relate to her situation, since she was
older than me and i'd never been through something like that,
so the perfect card said it all.

even a little gift on their doorstep if they live close is a thoughtful
gesture.

[rcbrad]

I would imagine that it would differ according to the situation.  It may not be annoying if you ask what you can to to help?  If you take action without asking first, it may make things worse.  Sometimes we may mean well or think something may help, but it may not have been the best solution.

[mperez7372]

I like to drop something quickly or leave a package on the porch.  I think lots of times, people don't want to "entertain" or be the center of attention- I don't!  I would love something left for me where I didn't feel I had to talk about things at that moment.

[ben50]

should give more than take...when someone needs something, should be there to provide it for them

[nmsmith]

Although the intentions in the statement are good,  I do not think it would be wise for anyone to just offer help for a friend in trouble w/out their consent or input first. Yes the "anything I can do statement" can be annoying especially when u know it isn't sincere. But sometimes being a good friend is letting that person figure out how to solve their own problems... and sometimes the only appropriate thing to do is listen and let your friend vent and express their feelings. And then if you really must, you can say, "I'm here for u if u need anything at all..." and if u r a true friend, they will know u mean it and they will tell you exactly how u can help them... if u must.....

[minervaspirit]

Some people just have trouble asking for help - even from good friends.
Be specific when you offer to help.  Time is a precious commodity - think along those lines. When appropriate, offer to babysit or pick up kids after school or activities.  Call when you're going to the market to ask what you can pick up for them or volunteer to run other errands.  If you can take even the smallest concern off their mind for awhile it will be helpful.

[nannycoe1]

I think it would be according to the specific "trouble" you are dealing with. There are many ways to help. Prayer, money, doing something that is needed done etc......

[greenworld12]

I agree just doing a good deed for the person will do wonders in their life.  They have enough going on in their lives and if you ask them what they might want done it just adds more confusion into their lives.

[lgemini]

I hope one day my friends can help me as much as I helped them.