relationship issues

[Kirenisa]

if it was just casual talk or catching up with an old friend then no of course not their allowed to have female friends just as i'm allowed to have Male friends, jealousy is greeds dirty cousin.

[jmc1070]

Reasonable discussion between you and your husband needs to happen. If you approach it calmly, he shouldn't get defensive and be able to tell you the truth. If he becomes defensive or evasive then you are probably going to need to prepare for a bigger problem and even bigger decisions.

[moon29]

it would depend on the situation.  if it were to involve emotional cheating then i would not be receptive of it at all and i would have to say that we would sit down and discuss wither or not our relationship could continue.

[stretch1967]

They dont have a reaspn to be talking to another female. I would say good bye

[sak4kat]

I agree with others on this board thus far regarding the situation in which talking occurs.  I too have been cheated on and will not tolerate that ever again.  However men and women talking to each other is normal.  Being friendly to one human being to another is normal.  Flirting, emotionally connecting through conversation leads to more feelings and than the innocent talking we speak of is destructive. 

[minervaspirit]

You can't go through life looking at everything and every person as a threat to your happiness.  My husband and I have been very happily married for over 30 years.  That didn't happen by accident. One of the things we give each other is space. We share a LOT including a wonderful family.  However, he has interests that I do not share and vice versa. This includes friendships with others. And yes this might even include flirtations. BUT he and I have been 100% faithful over all this time and trust each other implicitly.  Part of growing up is exploring and developing all sides of yourself.  If your relationship is intrinsically sound and your bond strong then it will survive.  And I believe it will get stronger.  Having trust and confidence is part of that.  Not questioning constantly is part of that.  Having the ability to grow and develop is part of that.  And one of the ways you grow and develop is by talking to others.  One person can never provide another with ALL of their needs no matter how close they may be. And that's nothing to be threatened by, it's just the way it is.  And ultimately it is for the good of all.

[kimmy29]

If you found out your spouse was talking to a girl/guy would you be mad and what would you do?

Talking is not a capital offense. I would say it depends on the situation. Are they talking in person or online? Are they alone or with other people? Was your relationship in trouble already and he/she is confiding in the other person? Many variables here.

Make sure you know the context of the situation before you react. Getting angry and being confrontational would probably be a mistake. But if it concerns you, the you should talk about it with your spouse. Marriage is for keeps if you can stand the heat.   

[skinnygwenny]

Depending on the situation or the circumstances will determine how I react to my husband getting to friendly with another female.

[skrogman]

People have to interact with the world and there is not always reason to suspect.  I would simply bring up the other person in conversation and if his reply was hesitant or awkward, then I would delve further and be more confrontational on the issue. People have to go to work, go to stores, etc.  If my boyfriend had a female friend at work, I personally would not worry about it, but that's just me.

[moon29]

it depends on what you mean by talking.  if they are just friends and talking no i wouldnt be mad in fact i would try to become friends with that person as well so that i wouldnt feel so up in the air about the situation.  however if you are talking about flirting or breaching the line of appropriate conversation then im am defiantly going to have a sit down conversation with my spouse about why i dont feel that the friendship is appropriate and get out how im feeling.  if they are any kind of spouse they are going to understand and either break off the relationship or cut back on the amount of conversation.  if not then you probably should look into some relationship counseling or a divorcee lawyer.  without trust you cannot have a successful relationship.

[minervaspirit]

it depends on what you mean by talking.  if they are just friends and talking no i wouldnt be mad in fact i would try to become friends with that person as well so that i wouldnt feel so up in the air about the situation.  however if you are talking about flirting or breaching the line of appropriate conversation then im am defiantly going to have a sit down conversation with my spouse about why i dont feel that the friendship is appropriate and get out how im feeling.  if they are any kind of spouse they are going to understand and either break off the relationship or cut back on the amount of conversation.  if not then you probably should look into some relationship counseling or a divorcee lawyer.  without trust you cannot have a successful relationship.

you make a lot of sense by suggesting they make friends with the person as well.  Maybe it's a feeling of being left out that is prompting the worry.

[faamanatu68]

Why would a person be mad unless they are so insecure with their realationship and them selves. Which is really sad...

[mythociate]

I'd naturally be suspicious, if that person was someone who (like most people) doesn't have a very high opinion of me; but I would supernaturally remind myself that my knows EVERYTHING that's wrong with me---WAY WORSE STUFF than they could hear from anybody else! 

[nmsmith]

I would be upset if he didn't tell me and I found out. To be honest I feel opposite sex friendships can cause disaster and really should be kept at a minimum. Sorry I have been betrayed by many "friends" and also keep mostly male friends who I know all have other intentions so when I am in a relationship, sorry no opposite sex friends. Every relationship I know where the man or woman has an opposite sex friend (who isn't gay) the "friend" ends up causing problems for the relationship. Now I know this is not always the case.  It takes a very strong and secure couple to be able to handle their mate having an opposite sex friend.

[hotcocoa]

I would get him/her to discuss it.  Find out who it is, friend or more. Then if it's the latter, I'm out of there!  Better yet, he/she is out of here!  No more discussion needed.