I am a little upset at my grandson's father; I saw him yesterday.

[msmoneybags48]

My hubby decided he wanted pork chops, mashed potatoes, gravy and biscuits for dinner yesterday, so we went to the store and parked besides a black and gray car.  The next thing I remember was seeing my grandson's father, whom I hadn't seen in a while.  What makes me really upset is that he denied my grandson was even his because his new girl was having a little girl, and he had always wanted a daughter.  The undeniable fact is that my grandson looks like him and acts like him.  He got upset with me because I told him he needed to talk to my daughter before calling my grandson because he does nothing for him.  I have to tell my daughter because I don't want to be in the middle of this.  It also turns out that his girlfriend's son is my grandson's classmate.   I feel uneasy because the last time he saw my grandson, his girlfriend was pregnant and that is when he denied him.  He supports his daughter and his eldest son, but not my grandson, who lives with me.  I won't have to worry about it if my daughter moves back here, but her plans are to pick my grandson up and he will live with her in Marietta, GA.  Should I be worried about his father doing something?

[gaylasue]

Do you have any grounds to where you can get legal custody of him?  If I had a grandchild, I would fight tooth and nails to keep her/him safely with me.

[loulizlee]

Your grandson's father is not really a father - so far he is just a sperm donor.  I would be more than a little upset; I would be livid.   Depending on what you want or what you think is best, you could apply to obtain legal custody.  If not and if your daughter pursues it, she can get child support.  These days there is DNA testing to prove if he is the child's father.  I wish these young girls would realize they don't need a man or a baby to be happy.

[msmoneybags48]

I would fight tooth and nail to keep him with me, but my daughter (his mother) is still around.  I love my daughter to death, which is why I have him now.  She wanted to get on her feet when she moved to Marietta, GA, and asked me to keep him.  My hubby has stepped in and has been more of a father to him than his sperm donor of a father.  To show you how shallow these people are, his sister saw him at school and the first thing she hollered was "Let me get a picture of you."  She didn't give him a dime.  He saw him yesterday and the same thing came out of his mouth.  When he started having problems with my daughter, my grandson was scared to sleep in his room because this idiot broke his window trying to get to my daughter to do harm to her.  He went to jail and owes her $1,473 because he broke her windshield and the police had to taser him to restrain him.  He had the nerve to write her a letter and tell her he was trying to get "extra sexy" for her.  His stepbrother told him of the new guy in my daughter's life.  Every relationship he has been in has ended with the police having involvement.  He owes the woman before my daughter over $1,700.  His oldest son's mother got him out of her life when she got married to a Mexican.  His mother mistreated his oldest son's mother and my daughter when they were pregnant.  It took her a month to come see my grandson when he was a baby, and the only thing she could find to say was, "At least 'it' has our head."  She also called my grandson "spoiled" because he wouldn't have anything to do with her.  You know his mother has issues when she actually sent his father to school with a black eye.  My daughter is secure with herself, so she knows she don't need a man to be happy.   I felt compelled to let you know why I was upset about it.

[loulizlee]

I understand why you are unhappy.  I understood before your further explanation.  I still say your daughter should take him to court.  As for the rest of his family, I would ignore them.

[Sendmicheck]

Let him pay child support for his son.

[sherryinutah]

It seems like the greatest concern is that the your grandson's biological father might neglect him.  The good news is that your grandson has a mother and grandmother who love him.

I would recommend that your daughter do whatever is necessary to get child support and forget about anything else.  This guy needs to be financially responsible for the children he invites into this world.

 

[campbell829]

It doesn't appear that the "father" is trying to hard to be a father. I wouldn't worry about him trying to do something at this point. If things get to that point he may need to be reminded of all the back child support he owes. Cherish the time you have with your grandson and try not to dwell on the absent father.

[kimber62372]

I thought I had a rough life! You sound like such a caring grandmother & i'm so sorry for all your aggravations this nitwit has put your family through! Your daughter should go to court and demand a DNA test and have the so called "sperm donor" pay for the testing costs. Then when they reveal that he is the father, make him pay child support or he goes to jail! It's that simple!! No other paternal family members should come in contact with your grandson unless otherwise ordered by the courts discretion. If your grandson is old enough to know what is going on, this is going to affect him not only in school but in his own surroundings at home. Believe me, I went through a similar horror story except the father of my kid DIED! lol...yeah, long story! Good luck with everything and hope everything goes in your favor!

[Nancy5]

I agree with everyone else.  Haul his butt into court, after you get a DNA test, and get him for child support and back support.  Even if he doesn't pay on his own, they can take it out of his pay.  I'm sorry for your grandson, but he is so very lucky to have a loving and caring grandmother, and a grandfather to look up to as a role model.  You are two loving, giving people and you will be rewarded!

[nannycoe1]

Just go a head and get legal guardianship of him. That is what my husband and I did with our grandson. It seems like now-a-days there are more grandparents raising grandchildren then ever. It is a sad world  we live in.

[msmoneybags48]

My grandson's father's mother had no problems with my daughter until she found out she was pregnant.  My daughter was 9 months pregnant and looked like she was carrying a football team.  She knew it was only my grandson in there, but she looked huge.   His mother threatened to drag my daughter out of the car because she didn't agree with him having to pay child support.  He has a 11 year-old son, my grandson is 6 and a daughter who should be about 2 years old now.  I spoke to my brother in-law on Mother's Day and he told me that, although he wanted a daughter, my grandson's father has no interactions with her either.  To enlighten you on this, his oldest son's mother is in her 40's; at the time she was pregnant with him, she was 27 and he was all of 18 years old.  The majority of the child support goes to this woman.  He takes care of his daughter, but my grandson gets nothing from him.  My husband didn't have such a great relationship with his children, and he says that God has given him the unique opportunity to have a good relationship with my grandson.  He told his father he was welcome to come and visit him and I told him I was not sure of that.  Even my husband says he is not comfortable with allowing his father to take him out anywhere.  I told him of all the troubles he caused my daughter and how scared my grandson was of him when he broke the window to my daughter's apartment; he would not sleep in that room because of it.   I could very well see it if the circumstances were different and my daughter was no longer here, but she is still a part of his life.  I stepped up because I knew that he would have no one if I didn't.  I have been a part of his life since the day I found out my daughter was pregnant with him.   I was raised by my grandmother and my mother was still present.   My grandmother was more of a mother to me than my own, and I made myself a promise that I would be there for my daughter if she needed me.  She asked me to take care of him and have been here since then (she was here in March and took him out).  I do the very best that I can for him.  My daughter asked his father to buy him a pair of gym shoes when he first began going to school; as of yet, we have not gotten anything.    If my daughter was gone to the great beyond, I would still step in and be there for him because I don't trust his father's mother.   She told me she doesn't like kids, and one of her sons is likely to go blind because she exposed him to an STD by having relations with a man who was affected.  My understanding is that the father of that son was going to beat her behind and she went into labor.

[countrygirl12]

My hubby decided he wanted pork chops, mashed potatoes, gravy and biscuits for dinner yesterday, so we went to the store and parked besides a black and gray car.  The next thing I remember was seeing my grandson's father, whom I hadn't seen in a while.  What makes me really upset is that he denied my grandson was even his because his new girl was having a little girl, and he had always wanted a daughter.  The undeniable fact is that my grandson looks like him and acts like him.  He got upset with me because I told him he needed to talk to my daughter before calling my grandson because he does nothing for him.  I have to tell my daughter because I don't want to be in the middle of this.  It also turns out that his girlfriend's son is my grandson's classmate.   I feel uneasy because the last time he saw my grandson, his girlfriend was pregnant and that is when he denied him.  He supports his daughter and his eldest son, but not my grandson, who lives with me.  I won't have to worry about it if my daughter moves back here, but her plans are to pick my grandson up and he will live with her in Marietta, GA.  Should I be worried about his father doing something?

I am not putting anybody down but situations like this are why people need to quit having sex with whom ever comes along and when things get tough they just break up.  People need to stay single until they are ready to be in a LIFE LONG relationship and not have sex until they are married.  And I do not care that the year is 2014.  The rules have not changed.  Only people and their way of thinking.  The kids are the ones who pay for the ignorance of their parents.

You can make him pay child support.  And the state can make him take a paternity test.  I know a guy that was told 'you are this person's father' and he had not seen the mother (an ex girl friend) in almost 20 years.  But he was forced to take a paternity test.  Yes, he was the father but he didn't know.  Point is the state forced him to do it and they can force this guy to do the same.

It's a tough situation.  And like it or not since the grand son lives with you then you are in the middle of it.  People need to realize that their decisions effect others.  Very rarely if not never do your decisions effect only you.  Things we do have an effect on others.

[vickysue]

I would file on him. and also go to the welfare office. Dead beat so called fathers in our state cannot get any fishing licenses or hunting until they get caught up. Also cannot buy firearms.  It is amazing how many will get caught up for a while and then start slipping. And then it is here go again. But why should they get to play when their child and mother need the money.

[mill8277]

She should put him up for child support....no one in the world can make a good dad outta him if he don't want to be on to his son.....I was really upset when my daughter took her children and moved 2 1/2 hours away but there was nothing at all I could do....after all they are her children, I love and miss them, but if she doing all she can to be a good mom I want ever stand in her way regardless of who dad is....