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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: lgemini on January 25, 2013, 05:51:39 am

Title: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: lgemini on January 25, 2013, 05:51:39 am
I think it is not wrong to push my kids to do better than me.  I am talking about education and social setting.   I want my kids to know that they can be anything they want to be with hard work.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: sarah791017 on January 25, 2013, 06:21:34 am
I like my kid be himself.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: mgint on January 25, 2013, 07:02:10 am
no but let them try to figure out what they want not just having them please you.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: sak4kat on January 25, 2013, 07:12:42 am
I just told my son that he knows more now in the 7th grade than I did going into my Sophmore year in high school.  I don't believe in pushing my kids...I support them in there endeavors.  However when it comes to education I do push a bit more than I was pushed.  I lost my Dad in my early teens and Mom sorta lost it...she didn't keep track of me so there were days...weeks that I didn't go to school.  I on the other hand think of myself as being very involved in my kids education.  My son (who has ADD & was released from his IEP from a visual restraint this last year) brings homework home that I help him with nearly nightly.  My oldest get's great grades naturally and doesn't have to spend much extra time on it.  My youngest so far seems to be soaking it in similar to my oldest... I hope I'm not pushing them...but guiding.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: LaKecias on January 25, 2013, 08:30:19 am
no it's not wrong who would thinke that. I want my kids to have it all of course i want them to suceed for more than me
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: b1pearl on January 25, 2013, 08:57:38 am
Of course not, naturally as a parent(s) we want to see our children succeed, where we didn't.  From our past life experiences we as parent(s), we see a better way. The only problem in this is, not everybody experiences the same thing in life,so sometimes we just have to be what we are;loving, caring, supporting,teacher,counselor,and most of all, understand that we were a child once and some things that our parent(s) did wasn't always cool to us at that time. Just do your best and be honest as much as possible.  :binkybaby:
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: msmoneybags48 on January 25, 2013, 09:17:53 am
Parents should push their children to do better than they did.  I grew up being told I would amount to nothing and spent my life having to prove to myself as well as others that I would be better than my mother.  My father died when I was 2 and my mother spent her life until she passed on treating me as if I owed her for ruining her life.  She treated me differently from my sisters and brothers,  and I concluded that she loved me in her own way until I heard from my aunt that she never expected me.  She told me that if it weren't for my grandmother,  I wouldn't have survived.   I am not ungrateful,  but I wouldn't wish that kind of feeling on my worst enemy.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: 6265AT99 on January 25, 2013, 10:39:44 am
I think it is not wrong to push my kids to do better than me.  I am talking about education and social setting.   I want my kids to know that they can be anything they want to be with hard work.
[/quote

I agree that we all want our children to be "better than us" but there is a fine line here as to how to push them.  I always believed in encouraging a child to follow his dreams and also to help him by providing (as best I could) him/her with things that would help in the direction they want to go.  Of course, children being children, well they change their minds quite often so when they're little no point in getting too involved.  As they grow and become more mature (teenagers in 3rd or 4th yr. of high school) they will then really decide which direction they want to go in.  That's the time to enforce and encourage as much as possible their decision.  I've always told my kids - you can be anything you want to be - I will never tell you what to be - just remember to be GOOD at whatever you choose!!!!
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: ghunter on January 25, 2013, 10:59:09 am
Of course it is not wrong to want your kids to do better than you, as a parent you also want your kids to do better than you so if you don't think that way something is really wrong with you.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: ajann1983 on January 25, 2013, 11:03:37 am
it is not wrong to want your kids to do better than you. i want the same for my kids.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: kimberlymgiles on January 25, 2013, 04:05:21 pm
You should be a role model to your children. Our children are our future. I have always wanted my kids to have more than I currently have. I don't see anything wrong with this concept.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: hawkeye3210 on January 25, 2013, 04:10:24 pm
It's not wrong to want your kids to better than you. I don't agree with pushing, however.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: yen1207 on January 25, 2013, 04:34:56 pm
I always wanted my kids to do better than me.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: heypeg on January 25, 2013, 04:43:15 pm
I totally agree with you, I think everyone wants their children to do better than they do. I always tried to push my kids when they were younger.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: cutiepie9447 on January 25, 2013, 04:47:34 pm
Its definately not wrong. Its part of being a good parent!
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: meg0694 on January 25, 2013, 05:14:42 pm
No,  I have a son that could care less about anything.  I want him so bad to keep a B average and I stay on him so he does.  I wish he cared!!  He is very smart but lazy.   :BangHead:
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: freshtees on January 25, 2013, 05:44:35 pm
I think if you ask most parents, their main goal is to give/set up their children for a better life & success than they had. So I don't think it is wrong, but actually great!
Just as long as you don't push them to hard of course.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: hollyromey on January 25, 2013, 06:41:35 pm
It's natural for nurturing parent's to expect their kids to excel where they didn't. They want they're kids to avoid making the same mistakes they did. Most of the time it's academically. I myself always regret not studying harder in school because I now know that I missed out on a lot of scholarship opportunities and being able to brag about being on the Dean's list is an easy way to impress potential employers.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: raven1114 on January 25, 2013, 10:29:58 pm
Education and knowledge are very important to us. We encourage our kids to do their best always.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: raven1114 on January 25, 2013, 10:33:06 pm
I do however think there is a big difference in pushing and encouraging. We expect our kids to do their best, we don't expect perfection.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: davidh121 on January 25, 2013, 11:37:43 pm
On the contrary I think majority of parents want their children to have and do better than what they had in their lifetime... Then have something to rant about how easy they have it (like those AT&T u-verse commercials).
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: LenoraMinogue on January 27, 2013, 10:30:07 am
I don't think there's anything wrong with encouraging them to do better, as long as it is tempered with love and understanding that those expectations might not always be reached.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: minkatrozic on January 27, 2013, 10:57:01 am
No nothing wrong with it. Nevertheless, our children are going to end up being who they are not who we want them to be. So just relax and enjoy your own life. Encourage them but do not expect too much because they are who they are. :heart:
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: shepherdchik on January 28, 2013, 04:55:08 pm
I really hope my daughter does better than me. I just am finally getting a good grasp on my life after going to school and getting a good starting job in my field. She's smart so i know she will do well in school and college
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: champak97 on January 28, 2013, 07:43:41 pm
I wish the best for my kids, and I think there is nothing wrong in wanting your kids to do better than yourself.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: remediagirl on January 28, 2013, 08:06:13 pm
I think that every good parent wants their child to do better than them. I had a tough childhood so it's something I strive for really.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: healthfreedom on January 29, 2013, 07:20:15 pm
Every parent should want their kids to do better in life than they did. I certainly want my kids to far surpass me in achievement and personal well-being.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: KSimonetti92 on January 29, 2013, 09:02:38 pm
As a mother I believe it is perfectly understandable to want the best life has to offer your children. That being said, I also believe that it is ultimately the child's decision how they want to live their life. You can nag at them the whole way through high school so they get into a good college, but when the time comes, they may decided they don't want to go to college at all. Don't freak out! My mum nagged my endlessly to get good grades and get into a good college. But college just isn't for me. I now HAPPILY work from home running my own candle making company and make $800/month, whereas if I were in college right now, I'd be stressing over tests and up to my neck in debt!
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: jnjmolly on January 30, 2013, 12:38:06 am
I don't think it could be wrong to want your children to succeed...I want my child to be the best they can be!! and I would love for all there dreams to come true.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: Tresbn00 on February 01, 2013, 06:57:01 pm
I agree with your thoughts that children should be pushed to do better then their previous generation...as long as they don't lose sight of fun, family and enjoying life.  I work as hard as I can to provide them with everything that they need to succeed.  I expose them to adventures that most kids can only dream about.  I sign them up, with their blessing, for every sport clinic that helps them get better at their respective sports.  I applaud them for their victories and work with them to overcome their losses.  I encourage them to take on harder classes and challenge their minds.  I am currently working on making an additional company so that I can hire them and keep them out of what is currently a crappy employment scenario.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: bretay on February 01, 2013, 07:21:47 pm
no i dont think so..i think thats just part of being a good parent
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: BK_Adores_Chase on February 01, 2013, 07:44:00 pm
Yeah, I feel like when I look back there are some things I wish my Mom told me while I was growing up...I don't plan on pushing my kids to be better, I just want to encourage them to be better and teach them how to be better and give good advice when needed, but kids will be kids and some mistakes you just have to learn on your own
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: debidoo on February 01, 2013, 07:44:34 pm
I want my kids to do better than me only to the extent that they have some of the things that make life easier.  I guess its just the level of encouragement versus push.  
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: SweetApril74 on February 02, 2013, 04:49:23 am
i think that is a nice thought, i also hoping they would be better than me. Not about how to educte and raise them, but how to let them being theirself and showing their potential and positif side.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: dkanofsky on February 02, 2013, 06:45:54 am
Nope.  Just as long as it's not illegal or done at someone else s expense.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: sarabtrayior on February 02, 2013, 08:10:42 am
Of course not, naturally as a parent(s) we want to see our children succeed, however, I have a Master's degree and my daughter has a bachelor's degree and she is living in the woods of Wisconsin. I don't agree with what she is doing, but she's 25 and is living her life the way she wants to and I accept that.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: ljrjess69 on February 02, 2013, 09:11:36 am
absolutly not,,i defintly want my kids to do better then me!!! :dog:
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: Boise40 on February 02, 2013, 09:32:14 am
I don't have any kids but, if I did I would want them to have a better life and just do their best. I played basketball and football growing up but, I'm not gonna push my kids to play the same sports as me. Anyways, I would I want my kids to make their own path in life and be successful at whatever they do :)
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: jkhanson on February 02, 2013, 10:15:59 am
I think it is not wrong to push my kids to do better than me.  I am talking about education and social setting.   I want my kids to know that they can be anything they want to be with hard work.

I do not think it is wrong to want your kids to do better than you.  I too want more for my kids and want them to believe they can be and do anything they want to.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: kountrypeach80 on February 02, 2013, 11:36:29 am
no its not wrong. everyone should want there kids to do better than they did
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: yaayme on February 02, 2013, 12:12:03 pm
I think it is not wrong to push my kids to do better than me.  I am talking about education and social setting.   I want my kids to know that they can be anything they want to be with hard work.

I absolutely agree. I want my future kids to have all the opportunities that I didn't have. I want my children to be wiser, stronger, more successful than I've ever been. 
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: jwallbank on February 02, 2013, 12:40:32 pm
Nothing wrong with that! I think every parent want's their children to do better than themselves. I just don't think you should push  too hard.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: natashaspy on February 02, 2013, 12:47:24 pm
its only natural to want more for your kids than you had.  the thing is to teach them to appreciate what they get though, instead of spoiling them. 
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: oldbuddy on February 02, 2013, 01:11:38 pm
Sure I want my kids to do better than me, but I'm not going to stand around stagnant until they catch me either. If they want it, they are going to have to work for it. I have a couple with Masters Degrees when all I have is an Associates, but they still have a ways to go.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: swkstudent on February 02, 2013, 03:09:31 pm
That's how a parent should think, if I have kids I would want them to do better than me.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: vp44 on February 02, 2013, 03:39:53 pm
No I do not think it is wrong to want your kids to be better than the parent. Direction and helping would help. The child is always going to have their own path. It is their choice but at same time parent can help in the direction of the child providing that direction is based upon the ideas and thoughts of the child. Meaning do not force child in to being a lawyer if they have shown great passion for building or creativity in medicine etc. Keep up with your child's ambitions and follow through with what drives them :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: bigfoot951 on February 03, 2013, 09:49:20 am
I guess I just don't understand the question.  I think it would be wrong if you didn't want your kids to do better than you.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: mary33716 on February 03, 2013, 10:03:19 am
 I don't think it wrong at all i always want the best for my children they are grown into young adults
and i want them to live there dream. There was alot i could not do at there age so i want them to do and have
fun and be best that they want to be. They work so hard and so far to have what they have and im
happy to know they did it them self.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: rpse1927 on February 04, 2013, 06:13:45 am
yes i want my kids to do better than me as long as they do the best they can and work hardat it
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: lguzman1 on February 04, 2013, 08:25:49 am
I don't think so, everybody wants their child to do better than they did or have done. It's a good thing to push your kids to better themself as long as you don't push them to hard. Let them choice, but give them some automatisms. I tell my daughter she hates school with all of her might. I tell her thats ok I understand that you hate school, but your are going to finish High school, you don't have to go to collage, but you are either going to work or to college. I will let you choose which one you want. Now she is stating to say that she can't decide what she wants to be, but that one thing she doen't want is to work for a food place like Burger King she want something better like a profection. She is stating to say that she is going to college. Sounds good to me. There is no dought about it you have to push your kids a little because if we just let them they could turn the wrong way. We have to guide them to the right way or they will do the darnest things. Good luck.  :wave:
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: lbeery on February 04, 2013, 09:46:55 am
I think we all want our kids to do better than we did...or at least that success would find them more easily and that they suffer a minimum of pain...emotional, financial and mentally.  But, then some of that is necessary if you want them to grow up to be compassionate adults.  I think sometimes people think better means financially better but that is not always the most important thing.  I wish the children I know to grow up succesfully happy with themselves. Then, I think the rest of life is a whole lot easire.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: melissaotto1982 on February 04, 2013, 09:49:45 am
I think its good to want the best for your kid but you need to also make sure that you allow your kid to be themselves and not try to re live your younger years through your kid either.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: ssliva67 on February 04, 2013, 10:12:05 am
All parents should work to get their kids to want to have a better life than the parents had. If this happens then maybe more people will value hard work and society as a whole will improve.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: Beckys0528 on February 04, 2013, 10:54:36 am
Definitely no, You should want your kids to do the better than you in my case I have two daughter' 10 yrs apart they both knew they had too graduate no. 1 rule my oldest no problem she went to summer school a couple of yrs at first and it sunk in she graduated and even went to college now she has a fantastic job gets paid hourly plus commission checks in with a company that sells computers, she's in sales. Now my youngest didn't graduate but she got her GED and is attending college now, she wanted to pursue her career in daycare she took child development classes and has worked at a couple of daycare's but it just doesn't seem like that is where she is happy at she has a daughter that is 3 yrs old but she has found a good paying job now with a company that sells door's she is the only one it the office at times and she enjoys her work thank goodness she is 20 yrs. old. Their father was a painter and myself just a data entry clk. So you know I want them to do better  :)
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: stretch1967 on February 04, 2013, 11:08:59 am
Every parent wants that for their kids. My kids didnt do better but i hope my 6 grandkids do.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: kevint5 on February 04, 2013, 11:26:57 am
Absolutely not!  Every parent should strive and encourage their children to want to have and do better than they even done and not have this country redneck attitude about their kids going above their raising.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: dodgers16 on February 04, 2013, 11:10:57 pm
   no it's not wrong!!! really how can it be a bad thing??? of course i want them to have everything that I didn't and be able to suceed more than I did  :)
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: mill8277 on February 05, 2013, 04:45:11 am
I give my children a you can do anything you want to, skies the limit, every once in a while...I never compare my life to the life of my children...I want punish them for what I didn't or couldn't do, or what I did....I try not to put
unnecessary pressure on my children....I want them to be happy and live life the way that's pleasing to them.....my mother was over bearing and made my life hard as heck I was very unhappy and hated it at home....I could not wait to leave the nest....
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: dwggs on February 05, 2013, 04:56:37 am
It is not wrong to want your kids to do well as adults ... but keep in mind how you were at their age.

A gentle nudging in the right direction may be your best option.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: djohnson43 on February 05, 2013, 05:29:38 am
I don't think it is wrong for parents to want their kids to do better. Both of my girls are learning things I never did and certainly things my husband never did who is ten years older then me. I grew up in the 70's and graduated in 85 and my husband ten years earlier. It is very hard to try and help do homework because we never did it. I wouldn't exactly say we push them though, prod maybe. But in todays world they need to have the good education if they don't want to be living paycheck to paycheck.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: michellelt2004 on February 05, 2013, 05:42:55 am
No I do not think it is wrong to want better for your children than you had. Every parent wants that for their child/ren. I thought I had it good as a child, I never knew we struggled. I try to make it the same for my son. I tell him, don't listen to other people, form your own opinins of things. Do what you want to do in life. Persue what you want to.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: tashamjoy on February 07, 2013, 09:20:20 pm
Its not wrong wanting them to have the opportunities you never got like higher education for example. Giving them resources and support is great but when you are forcing them into a career or path they do not like then I do not think its good because then they dont feel like you are doing whats best for them you are pressuring them to whats best for you in their eyes at least. Its a tough battle kids are young they may not know what they want to do with their lives at such a young age they need assistance and guidence but also time and understanding
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: phamnguyen1525 on February 07, 2013, 09:44:14 pm
I have not have any child yet, so I dont know what option is best for me.
When I was a child, My mom said that if she had a chance like us, she should have been better. She wanted us to be better than her by studying and studying. I am really thank to her for encouraging us maintain a good education.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: sherryinutah on February 07, 2013, 09:57:41 pm
I think it's a problem to control your kids and push them to meet your expectations.  I believe part of being a good parent is loving and accepting them as they do their best to meet their OWN expectations.

You give your children an incredible gift when you allow them the freedom to be who they are instead of "molding" them.

And yes, I am the parent of 2 amazing guys.

 :heart:
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: Ittai on February 11, 2013, 05:19:56 pm
it alls depends..? I want my kids to be smart and know what they should/ need to know..!! i dont want them to be taken advantage of
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: cathy37 on February 14, 2013, 05:29:17 pm
I love the fact that my daughter has done better than me.  She graduated from a 4 year college and then went back and completed the class work for her master's degree.  I want her to always strive to do her best in everything that she does.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: gwendolynconrad on February 14, 2013, 09:13:12 pm
This is not wrong for your kids to do better in life. :icon_rr:
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: jenniferhoder on February 15, 2013, 09:48:57 am
I don't think it's wrong at all!!! I think it's great and we should want our kids to have it better!!!
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: RobertMendez on February 15, 2013, 10:39:53 am
no not at all, thats the way parents should think actually
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: vickysue on February 15, 2013, 02:23:46 pm
I believe you should encourage your child to be the best they can be, but don't rant at them,, they do have a mind of their own, Love and encougement the best you can give, along with some support.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: ShadeTree on February 28, 2013, 06:44:01 pm
I don't think there is anything wrong at all with wanting your kids to do better than you did. I do think it's wrong the way some parents go about it though. As long as you aren't a crazed parent going to an extreme then it's okay. Encouragement and support are very important, but don't force them to do things they aren't interested in. For example, if you kid doesn't want to play sports then don't force them to. I do think it's important to help your kids do well in school though. If they need tutoring make sure they get the help they need. Just don't be some psycho, overbearing, extremist parent who uses threats and/or violence or any other insane methods to get your kid to study and get good marks.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: davidf938 on March 01, 2013, 11:50:02 am
Not as long as you are not simply pushing them to become what you wish you had become.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: stretch1967 on March 01, 2013, 12:36:16 pm
No not all. I keep trying to instill that in my 2 kids. Now I have 5 grandkids and one on the way.
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: martinezlisa on March 01, 2013, 01:28:35 pm
I think it is not wrong to push my kids to do better than me.  I am talking about education and social setting.   I want my kids to know that they can be anything they want to be with hard work.

i don't think that its wrong to push your kids to do better i think that its good that you are doing that i also want the same for my boys if it was not for my son i probably would have not graduated school i have not continued my education i really don't know why but i do want my kids to go to collage and do much more than me..  :wave:
Title: Re: Is it wrong to want your kids to do better than you?
Post by: mrisha on March 01, 2013, 01:29:44 pm
It's nothing wrong with it , but remember to talk to your child to see what is on their minds and what they want to do.  Educating your child is a good thing, but pushing them to something they don't want is a setup for failure.