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Topic: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse  (Read 3872 times)

sarah_hollock

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Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« on: December 30, 2010, 01:29:01 pm »
 I Strongly believe that sexual abuse and physical and mental abuse as a child still effects you as you get older! For instance I am a victim of sexual abuse and we wont get in to how that effects me , But what about a broader spectrum like Teachers! My brother was slapped  when he was about 7 by a Morning monitor I saw the whole thing. After i saw that I made an excuse to go to the office and told the nurse I was sick and needed to call my mom. I was about 9 then it was natural to just take up for him. Well she came up to the school and took care of it. So when i see him now and i see certain stuff about him that brings me back to that day. And i have another real close friend that  is still botherd by the fact a teacher made fun of her when she was in 3rd grade and she is 30 now and brings it up at least4 times a year. Lets just say that just that and Dallas Schools have kept her 10 year old daughter in home school all of her life!

sgluckadoo

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2010, 04:45:23 pm »
Absolutely it does. We are the product of our childhood, it is what form us. My husband was abused and has never gotten over it. Although we dont talk about it much, i can see moments where i could easily blame his abuse experiences for his behavior.

jcribb16

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2010, 05:41:47 pm »
I totally agree it does affect a person even into adult years; every once in awhile something will happen or come up that reminds me of the past. Thank goodness, with God's help, I have achieved the victory over it, but there are still hard times that come.

jaxy

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2010, 12:52:49 am »
when i was younger i had an uncle that would molest me and my sister. he stopped when i got a bit older but he ended up raping my little sister even though she has cerebral polsy. surprisingly when someone is molested it is possible for them to become sex fiends and nimphos...which i happen to be. I also got tossed around alot in the system which gave me very little to rely on. but because i was at a greater understanding of life than usual children I learned to let it help me become a stronger person. life is tough but everyone dies so why not learn how to live while we're here.

jneff0603

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2010, 07:18:57 am »
I agree that everything that happens and the people in our lives put a kind of stamp on us that we carry the rest of our lives. If I stop and think about a reaction I have to something I can always link it back to something else from my past. For instance a boyfriend of mine "pantsed" me once and I went crazy. There was no one around to see but still. Then I remembered that that happened to me when I was 5 on a school bus and I was SO humiliated!

ElleRich

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2010, 08:12:45 am »
I Strongly believe that sexual abuse and physical and mental abuse as a child still effects you as you get older! For instance I am a victim of sexual abuse and we wont get in to how that effects me , But what about a broader spectrum like Teachers! My brother was slapped  when he was about 7 by a Morning monitor I saw the whole thing. After i saw that I made an excuse to go to the office and told the nurse I was sick and needed to call my mom. I was about 9 then it was natural to just take up for him. Well she came up to the school and took care of it. So when i see him now and i see certain stuff about him that brings me back to that day. And i have another real close friend that  is still botherd by the fact a teacher made fun of her when she was in 3rd grade and she is 30 now and brings it up at least4 times a year. Lets just say that just that and Dallas Schools have kept her 10 year old daughter in home school all of her life!
I absolutely agree with your statement.  It has happened to me and my spouse.  I have problems at time when something triggers a past incident and it is like I am back there reliving the moment.  It's called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD) and in my case I blocked a lot out for years.  Spiritual readings, counseling and medications can help to alleviate this.

makedoughonline

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2011, 04:57:20 pm »
Whatever you are today is the result of the total package from the day you were born to today. The only way we can break away from the past it to recognize it and let go of it.

bschumacher

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2011, 05:00:14 pm »
As an adult, I am shocked and distressed by the severity of the abuse many of the adults I know suffered as children. I got whupped every now and then, but my home was a loving place. I am so sorry for these people. WHY do people have children if they're just going to be mean to them?????????

whoamama90

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2011, 06:18:31 pm »
From personal experience, I know that adults still are effected by the abuse they suffered as children. I try my best not to dwell on it, but sometimes I still have nightmares. Sometimes events that occur can recreate memories. (Being touched a certain way for example)

mrisha

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2011, 06:54:16 pm »
I do believe things that are so traumatizing or has happened to you when younger can definitely affect you in adulthood.  For instance: I am the oldest of ten children and had to help take care of my mothers children-I still resent that to this day.  I like being alone, quiet, don't particularly like people or interacting or talking  with them.
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Annella

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2011, 07:09:19 pm »
Where to start on this subject.  There is so much about this.

I see a lot of this in counseling individuals that have come to Christ.  The best thing to do is forgive the person that has offended you when you were a child.  Sometimes this takes time, and not particularly easy to do.  Sometimes the person just has to admit to God that they can't do it, and that He needs to help them forgive.  He does. Nothing is impossible with God.

I've seen God take lives that are a hopeless mess, and turn them around into new creatures in Him.  It can be done with God's help.  Children who are raped and/or abused are "fragmented".  They can take on characteristics of their offenders.  There's so much that goes on, and gets passed back and forth in these acts.  The person above that states she became a nymphomaniac is telling a not uncommon symptom after such episodes.  God can heal that fragmentation in the emotions.  Laying something tragic as this at Jesus feet, and leaving it there is not as easy as it sounds.  We have a tendency to pick it right back up when we leave.  Forgiveness is the key to release, and living a life in victory over that that hinders us.

Spanking a child to teach discipline does not cause negative emotions in an adult unless that adult is using it for an excuse for their own bad behavior.  I've talked with various people that will "hold on" to a spanking or correction from their parents and call it abuse.  It is not abuse.  There is correction that is abuse, and can harm an adult in their later life and abuse their own children.  Example:  If the children saw daddy slap mommy and the kids around......they are likely to do the same when they get older.  A pattern like that can be broken.

I tell people all the time....you had a bad childhood?  Well, childhood is over, and now your an adult and can make your own choices and decisions.  You are no longer bound by what happened in your childhood, because it's over. Someone who holds onto "slights" that happened to them as a child, is someone that wants to stay in that state and have people feel sorry for them......they need to grow up and enter adulthood.  I've seen many people overcome horrible childhoods to become beautiful men and women of God who have such contributions to their church body and society as a whole.

Don't get me wrong, their are strongholds that have us bound from some things that happen to us in our childhoods (molestation is one), but God can remove those strongholds if we are willing to forgive and put them in his capable hands.  That "frees" us to a new life.  Again...Forgiveness is the key.

If you think I'm not talking from experience, you would be wrong.  What I am today in Christ is nothing I was as a child.  It's possible to rise above anything with God helping you.  Real healing needs to take place, and only God can do that.  Never hold onto hate and a desire for vengeance as it only destroys you.  Believe me, God is the avenger, and will in no wise let anything go unpunished that is not repented of.

I could write reams on this subject, but only hit the highlights.


freepcmoney

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #11 on: January 02, 2011, 04:48:08 am »
 
   :angry7: :angry7:    I am a victim many times over. It seemed to be a family tradition in my adopted family.This created patterns that have severly affected the rest of my life.
But I haven't killed anyone. I haven't raped anyone. I haven't abused anyone. I have never intentionally hurt anyone, UNLESS they hurt me first. Mostly, I have hurt myself because (subconsciously) I just didn't think I deserved any better.

I have so much seething anger. Yes sometimes, I am very mad at God. I know that the Self Help Gurus say that we create our own reality. BULL Sh*t. My mother walked off and left me when I was 3 months old. What did I have to do with that?? What did I do to create that fiasco?? Answer---Not a dam*n thing. That is on God--NOT ME!! And at the age of 3 the sexual abuse began. Must have been God's fault. Could not have been my fault!!

I guess I better shut up, before I really get mad. I could write a book or two. In fact that is in my plans. BUTTT I will have to write it as a fiction, BECAUSE Nobody will believe what I have lived through.Yet, I can still walk and talk, cook, cry and pray, and I haven't killed anyone yet. I have written many poems and a few songs.

Holler at me on Facebook----Peggy Collis
« Last Edit: January 02, 2011, 04:51:53 am by freepcmoney »

tammypete

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #12 on: January 02, 2011, 04:52:12 am »
I also agree that it does affect adults if they were abused as a child.   I have known people that have tried to block it out somehow like it didn't happen but that only causes problems later.   It is such a shame that we live in a world that it so full of abuse!

Annella

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #13 on: January 02, 2011, 06:40:57 am »

   :angry7: :angry7:    I am a victim many times over. It seemed to be a family tradition in my adopted family.This created patterns that have severly affected the rest of my life.
But I haven't killed anyone. I haven't raped anyone. I haven't abused anyone. I have never intentionally hurt anyone, UNLESS they hurt me first. Mostly, I have hurt myself because (subconsciously) I just didn't think I deserved any better.

I have so much seething anger. Yes sometimes, I am very mad at God. I know that the Self Help Gurus say that we create our own reality. BULL Sh*t. My mother walked off and left me when I was 3 months old. What did I have to do with that?? What did I do to create that fiasco?? Answer---Not a dam*n thing. That is on God--NOT ME!! And at the age of 3 the sexual abuse began. Must have been God's fault. Could not have been my fault!!

I guess I better shut up, before I really get mad. I could write a book or two. In fact that is in my plans. BUTTT I will have to write it as a fiction, BECAUSE Nobody will believe what I have lived through.Yet, I can still walk and talk, cook, cry and pray, and I haven't killed anyone yet. I have written many poems and a few songs.

Holler at me on Facebook----Peggy Collis

You need help, and you need it quickly.  Blaming God for what happened to you is a common lament.....I hear it often.  This world is full of people that are full of hate, murder, etc  That does not come from God.  In order to get some peace in your life, you have some work ahead of you.  You can do it in spite of all that's happened to you.  You can gain the victory that the enemy wanted to take from you for the rest of your life.  Find a good Christian counselor to talk to.  Be careful who you go to.  Pray for God to lead you to a good one.  I'm going to get you a name of a lady who is the best in this field and she has a website with many books that address just what has been addressed here in this thread. 

My mother left me also as a baby....walked right out.  It's not God's fault.  It was my mother's choice.  I chose to forgive her. I have no idea what her life was at that time.  The Bible says: "When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up" (it goes something like that).  How true that is.  We have something in common.  People tell me all the time that I should write a book because my life is stranger than fiction.

You say you haven't killed anyone yet, and that you won't hurt anyone unless they hurt you first.  Your thirst for vengeance is there, and can be destructive to a point that you may not be able to control someday. However, I'm happy to see that you pray.....right track my dear.

I'll be back with the name.

Annella

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Re: Adults Affected By Past Child Abuse
« Reply #14 on: January 02, 2011, 06:47:56 am »

   :angry7: :angry7:    I am a victim many times over. It seemed to be a family tradition in my adopted family.This created patterns that have severly affected the rest of my life.
But I haven't killed anyone. I haven't raped anyone. I haven't abused anyone. I have never intentionally hurt anyone, UNLESS they hurt me first. Mostly, I have hurt myself because (subconsciously) I just didn't think I deserved any better.

I have so much seething anger. Yes sometimes, I am very mad at God. I know that the Self Help Gurus say that we create our own reality. BULL Sh*t. My mother walked off and left me when I was 3 months old. What did I have to do with that?? What did I do to create that fiasco?? Answer---Not a dam*n thing. That is on God--NOT ME!! And at the age of 3 the sexual abuse began. Must have been God's fault. Could not have been my fault!!

I guess I better shut up, before I really get mad. I could write a book or two. In fact that is in my plans. BUTTT I will have to write it as a fiction, BECAUSE Nobody will believe what I have lived through.Yet, I can still walk and talk, cook, cry and pray, and I haven't killed anyone yet. I have written many poems and a few songs.

Holler at me on Facebook----Peggy Collis

You need help, and you need it quickly.  Blaming God for what happened to you is a common lament.....I hear it often.  This world is full of people that are full of hate, murder, etc  That does not come from God.  In order to get some peace in your life, you have some work ahead of you.  You can do it in spite of all that's happened to you.  You can gain the victory that the enemy wanted to take from you for the rest of your life.  Find a good Christian counselor to talk to.  Be careful who you go to.  Pray for God to lead you to a good one.  I'm going to get you a name of a lady who is the best in this field and she has a website with many books that address just what has been addressed here in this thread. 

My mother left me also as a baby....walked right out.  It's not God's fault.  It was my mother's choice.  I chose to forgive her. I have no idea what her life was at that time.  The Bible says: "When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up" (it goes something like that).  How true that is.  We have something in common.  People tell me all the time that I should write a book because my life is stranger than fiction.

You say you haven't killed anyone yet, and that you won't hurt anyone unless they hurt you first.  Your thirst for vengeance is there, and can be destructive to a point that you may not be able to control someday. However, I'm happy to see that you pray.....right track my dear.

I'll be back with the name.

Go to www.lyndadoty.com  Her name is Lynda Allison Doty and she is a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist (PhD).  She's also a Christian, and has written many books on emotional healing.  A book I would recommend is "Help Me Heal".  I've read a lot of her books and they are wonderful.

I met her and her husband at a conference about 5 years ago.  They have both dedicated their lives to the ministry of emotional and mental healing of people.  With an emphasis on women.  I'll be praying for you.

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