Horrible family members?

[sgluckadoo]

Sometimes separating from them shows them that they gotta change for the better I just pray an hope God helps them an good luck with anyone having that problem

"Sometimes separating from them shows them that they gotta change for the better" - that is really what I was hoping they would think too, but not the case.

[madeara]

My dad can be hard to deal with as well.  I am thirty seven.  Our relationship has always been hard.  I pray for him and ask the Lord to help me love him.

[plennis]

We have a brother that we have had to  cut off relations with.   He and his wife we had to evict from  a home my parents owned, he refused to pay rent, was letting the house just fall down around him.  Then he moved into our parents home which took us another year to get him out of.  One of the grandchildren was living there at the time and told us how he was verbally abusive and pushing and shoving our parents around and threatening them if they said anything.  Then when he started to hit the grandchild my sister just happened to drop by and called the police on him.  A rat infestation happened while they were there, they are both (he and his wife) filthy pigs.  Our niece (their daughter) lives with my sister because they were such horrible parents.  They rest of us got together and got them a car and a small house in another state (where she is from).  The family there thought we were just picking on them, now they have a different attitude.  My parents still talk to them on the phone but now we don't have to worry about the mental and physical abuse to them.                     

[lucky382001]

 There have been a few I felt like I should have over the years but I couldn't give them the benefit of my experience if I never talked to them and eventually they did straighten out. Its not always a pleasant thing to deal with but generally the worst acting ones are the ones that need your love the most.  Maybe it also helps to cut them out for awhile I don't know.. Good luck to you anyway.

[ktheodos]

yes, a little bit, you just have to learn how to draw limits...unfortunate when it happens because families are supposed to be close to one another

[Lindaroof]

You are not alone. Many families these days are dealing with some form of disfunction. Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away, I too have had to do so. It is so very hard to do, but once I realized I wasn't really helping them, I was enabling them it was time to walk away. When they finally want to help themselves then I will offer my support again but in a different manner. Good Luck.

[sgluckadoo]

You are not alone. Many families these days are dealing with some form of disfunction. Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away, I too have had to do so. It is so very hard to do, but once I realized I wasn't really helping them, I was enabling them it was time to walk away. When they finally want to help themselves then I will offer my support again but in a different manner. Good Luck.

"When they finally want to help themselves then I will offer my support again but in a different manner" - I think that is a great way to look at it and I hope they develop the insight needed to realize they need help! Mine have not.

[davidh121]

I've a couple of family members who I deemed are parasites. I haven't completely cut them out of my life, but I don't make attempts to keep in contact with them. I also have a problem saying no to people if they did ask something of me.

[Tresbn00]

Unfortunately I have had to do this twice. Once with my blood father-I still give him a chance every nine to ten years to see if he has changed his ways but, sadly, it appears that he will never change. Recently I had a distant, non-blood, Uncle that, in my younger years was a good man, has turned into an unscrupulous, immoral and unethical person. My Aunt had been dying from cancer for two years and he decided to bilk my parents out of some cash under the pretense of a tremendous return.  My parents ended up taking care of my Aunt at their own home. He would come back to visit but was extremely rude to her. Yelled at my parents for helping my aunt go to the bathroom when she was too weak. At the funeral he went on, ad nauseum, about how wonderful the church was with their support (they visited once every three months or so and he said a very brief Thank you to my parents. His daughter, who caused my Aunt to live through Hell on earth, got up and spoke about the wonderful relationship he had with my Aunt. Less than a year after my Aunt's death he remarried and had a grand honey moon in Hawaii-still hasn't paid my parents back. He forced my cousin to go to a religious cult college and made him go to a therapist from his religious cult when it didn't work out. The therapist tried to have sex with my cousin and my Uncle wouldn't believe my cousin because of the cult ties.  He was asked to not appear at out Christmas celebration but showed up any way. I excused myself so as not to make a scene. Sometimes you just have to cut the ties.

[batmobile]

Oh yes! I still don't speak to my mother who was abusive and controlling... Or my sister... It was toxic and I'm glad I still don't speak to them... It is their loss, I was the black sheep and scapegoat... And some people don't understand... You can't have a relationship with someone who treats you like crap and won't change, or respect your boundaries.

[darkxtsuna]

Just ignore them and Don't give a dam about them at all ,NO EYE CONTACT , NO communication , NOTHING!!! I have a ton of family members that I do not want to deal with at all.

[sgluckadoo]

Oh yes! I still don't speak to my mother who was abusive and controlling... Or my sister... It was toxic and I'm glad I still don't speak to them... It is their loss, I was the black sheep and scapegoat... And some people don't understand... You can't have a relationship with someone who treats you like crap and won't change, or respect your boundaries.

I understand the boundaries part! Even in my attempt to distance myself, those boundaries are stomped all over!

[bleyd]

I haven't had to deal with a horrible family member...i think I was the horrible one in my younger days. But now, everything different and for the better.

[braggin]

I am so sorry to hear all these stories of family members who have drug and alchohol issues and as a result, do things that force their family members to stay away from them. I used to work for a family who had these problems and felt very sorry for them too. I am blessed to have a family where nobody has these issues and where we all get along just fine.

[autumnsparklemom]

Absolutely. I had to cut ties with my father. I am 44 years old and he has been horrible. He has continuously hurt me a majority of my life. And I no longer could take the pain. He always made promises that he never kept, degraded me. I also had to do this with my grandfather and his wife. I also I had to do this with my step-father. After my mother passed away, he would not let me barely have any of my mother's belongings.