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Topic: Is something wrong with the way I think?  (Read 2363 times)

debidoo

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Is something wrong with the way I think?
« on: March 17, 2019, 02:02:16 pm »
I have been asking my son occasionally to try and find some time to come over without his girlfriend and her daughter just to chat and spend some time one on one.  Taking in account he works a lot due to people not showing up he acts like I am being unreasonable and seems like he doesn't understand that it isn't the same when they are around.  I'm not asking for much time or that often so am I being unreasonable? Another long story I won't get into but he already has alienated his brother due to her and her best friend. The whole thing makes me very sad.

madeara

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2019, 02:20:09 pm »
Hello,
That is so sad.  You are not being unreasonable.
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hitch0403

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2019, 03:33:30 pm »
I have been asking my son occasionally to try and find some time to come over without his girlfriend and her daughter just to chat and spend some time one on one.  Taking in account he works a lot due to people not showing up he acts like I am being unreasonable and seems like he doesn't understand that it isn't the same when they are around.  I'm not asking for much time or that often so am I being unreasonable? Another long story I won't get into but he already has alienated his brother due to her and her best friend. The whole thing makes me very sad.
Honor your mother and father was a command given by God.

No clearer then that.Remind him.

countrygirl12

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2019, 04:53:52 pm »
You are not unreasonable at all.  You also cannot talk about the same things with his girlfriend around.  Choosing a girlfriend or boyfriend over your parents or family is always a mistake.

clickers

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2019, 05:08:46 pm »
There's nothing wrong with your thinking at all. The least our children can do is visit us one on one. It's called 'that special time alone with each other.' Every relationship needs it, in order to thrive. Much less the parent child relationship. If you mind me saying: give it to God.

hkckk5

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2019, 05:37:32 pm »
I don't see anything wrong with the way you are thinking. Sometimes we mothers do like a little visit with our son alone. I know I do. It is nice to have those he loves other than us around sometimes. However I do not see anything wrong with wanting a visit without them sometimes.

bremer51

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2019, 05:46:14 pm »
I get it. Sometimes a mother just wants to spend time with her children alone, and vice versa.  He knows, but it sounds like he has a lot on his plate.  I believe he will come around.  I'd definitely ask for God's help.

potluck6

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #7 on: March 17, 2019, 08:49:50 pm »
My son lives with us still agec27  has a girlfriend . They're not ready for marriage  or anything like that.  I enjoy time alone together. He takes me  to go shopping so there's that. Have 2 other busy kids who we see twice a month. With spouses and kids. Maybe he can only come with the rest.  Tell him how nice it would be to just be alone with him. Maybe he can take you shopping just him and you.

plennis

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #8 on: March 17, 2019, 10:19:17 pm »
I get it. Sometimes a mother just wants to spend time with her children alone, and vice versa.  He knows, but it sounds like he has a lot on his plate.  I believe he will come around.  I'd definitely ask for God's help.
  One day soon if he does not coe around he is going to be sorry.  I will pray for you that it all works
out.

Nancy5

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #9 on: March 18, 2019, 04:20:57 am »
You are not being unreasonable.  I love my parents and I love my husband they love each other, but there are times I want to be alone with my folks, as does he with his parents.  Your son should understand girlfriends and wives can come and go, but you will only have one mom and one dad.  As hitch said, honor your parents.  Hopefully he will realize this soon.
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sdenimandlace1

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #10 on: March 18, 2019, 04:30:36 am »
NO you are not being unreasonable, he will regret it later.

rghvac69

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #11 on: March 18, 2019, 05:46:54 am »
You are not being unreasonable. I hope he comes around.

countrygirl12

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2019, 07:53:01 am »
You are not being unreasonable.  I love my parents and I love my husband they love each other, but there are times I want to be alone with my folks, as does he with his parents.  Your son should understand girlfriends and wives can come and go, but you will only have one mom and one dad.  As hitch said, honor your parents.  Hopefully he will realize this soon.

A parent in law is different than it being his girlfriend too.

pstovall

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #13 on: March 18, 2019, 11:10:48 am »
To me it's always different when spouses, friends, dates, other family members, etc. are around.  You don't carry on the same conversations, and your attention is divided among all those present.  I can understand your wanting "alone" time with your son.  You are not asking for too much.  Perhaps if you stay positive and concentrate on the "alone" time you need, the law of attraction will work its magic and you will be rewarded!

debidoo

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Re: Is something wrong with the way I think?
« Reply #14 on: March 18, 2019, 12:28:37 pm »
Thank you all for your answers - at least I feel better that I am not looking at this wrong. I take the three of them out frequently for dinner but I think his girlfriend is very insecure however I am 65 and I'm not gonna be here forever.  Those of you who said turn it over to God gave good advise there is little we can do on our own.

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