Jokes

[mom23greatkids]

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little
Pop-Up appeared that said:

You got Male

[stigg02]

I like the joke it was pretty funny. It takes something like that to make my day. I'll give it you.

[mwbintacoma]

The blonde Thanksgiving dinner
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

"Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter.

"Did it not taste good?" her mother asked.

"I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"

[MystedMoon]

Why did the blonde have an abortion?

Because she wasn't sure the baby was hers. 

[mwbintacoma]

What causes people to have arthritis?
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?"

"I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

[alissatucci]

haha!  the "pope" one was a good one! :-)

[kzilliner]

good jokes

[orchidchild]

HAS ANYONE HEARD OF THE NEW "DIVORCE BARBIE"?----------SHE COMES WITH ALL KENS *bleep*!

[jerricahicks]

LOL good ones guys!

[MystedMoon]

Q: What do you call the generic version of *bleep*??


A: Mycoxafloppin

[maxismalls]

Imagine if the Indians Killed cat instead of turkey,we'd all be eating ......................... for thanks giving.

[mwbintacoma]

keep up with the jokes there's been some funny ones......

mike

here's another....

the hurting blonde

A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body."

"That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean"

So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.

The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?"

"No I'm a blonde", she replies.

"I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.

 

[clint08]

Q: How do you get a one armed man out of your tree?

A: at him!

[wildangelc66]

Every few days Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama accuse and criticize what the other has said or meant. They are beginning to sound like they are married to each other.

[wildangelc66]

HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,
Bill Clint on

[/color]