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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: lgemini on September 12, 2011, 06:28:25 am

Title: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: lgemini on September 12, 2011, 06:28:25 am
I have been married for 17 years and for the last eight years I have a separate room from my husband.  We are happy with this arrangement.   Since  I have been on disability any type of noise bothers me (my husband's snoring).  What is wrong with this?
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: alwaysinstyle on September 12, 2011, 06:40:48 am
that's survival!!!nothing wrong with that!!!


GOD LUCK!!! :thumbsup:
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: lvstephanie on September 12, 2011, 08:04:33 am
There's nothing wrong with it. I guess some people may think separate bedrooms means that the couple doesn't want to sleep together because they have fallen out of love with each other, but that isn't always the case. I have a friend that is a bartender that works evenings and nights while her husband works in a standard day-shift. Because of their different sleep schedules, they opted to have separate bedrooms so that they wouldn't bother each other. But when they do have time, they aren't shy to "share the marriage bed" together.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: joyroos18 on September 12, 2011, 09:41:01 am
nothing we do, he is always cold im always hot, better than killing each other lol
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: pcoll on September 12, 2011, 10:24:04 am
never looked at the whole sharing different rooms this way...i thought it was 'falling out of love' but I guess its also a "survival" thing.....Personally, I dont want to have my own bed during marriage...Guess I'm still young and stuff
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: shanster89 on September 12, 2011, 10:26:35 am
I love sleeping in the same bed as my boyfriend but sometimes I just want to sleep alone! He sleeps in weird positions and he likes to cuddle that way all night and it hurts my back in the morning. I asked him once if we could not cuddle so close at night and it hurt his feelings so I deal with it. I figure I'm only 22, it's okay for now. Maybe when I'm older I'll have to have another talk though haha.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: bhm42004 on September 12, 2011, 10:33:27 am
I don't think there is anything wrong with it as long as it doesn't negatively effect the relationship.   :angel12: My grandparents have separate rooms, one of my sisters has a separate room from her husband.  ::)
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: wittylance on September 12, 2011, 11:31:01 am
I have been married for 17 years and for the last eight years I have a separate room from my husband.  We are happy with this arrangement.   Since  I have been on disability any type of noise bothers me (my husband's snoring).  What is wrong with this?
I would think nothing as long as it is because of the noise not being able to sleep as long as you both agree and still spend time together.  Just becasue you are married doesn't mean that you have to sleep in the same bed.  But you still have to spend time like a married couple everyone needs to sleep.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: sudeshkum on September 12, 2011, 12:09:41 pm
I have been married for 17 years and for the last eight years I have a separate room from my husband.  We are happy with this arrangement.   Since  I have been on disability any type of noise bothers me (my husband's snoring).  What is wrong with this?

Lack of mutual understanding leads to separation .......

we must learn to cop-up with any kind of situation in life. Flexibility in human nature and in life leads to a healthy relationship. i got married in 2010 and not much experienced as u r but one thing i have understood ,mutual understanding and respect for each other play  a very important role in ever happly married life.  If u have any complaint with ur loved one just sit together for a while and discuss ur problems, listen smthing & say smthing. I am damm sure within few minutes you will sort out ur misunderstandings & life will be back on track. Nobody is perfect in this world ,don't hesitate to discuss ur weak points in front of ur loved one. coz 1+1 also make 11,  And last but not the least just want to say, life is too short, nobody knows what happen will in next moment,live and enjoy every moment of ur life with ur loved ones.     
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: lannl on September 13, 2011, 12:14:58 am
I do not think anything is wrong with it. I snore really loud so I would not want to subject my spouse to it. I like to sleep alone anyway.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: marz32 on September 13, 2011, 12:42:40 am
Marriage is about for better or worse, most people need there alone time once and a while, but I would think I would grow further away from my wife if we slept in separate rooms. I have been married 8 years and I hope this never happens.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: noirlupe on September 13, 2011, 05:15:03 am
In my house the bed is so uncomfortable and we cant get a new one because of only 1 income right now.  My husband has a demanding physical job and the bed hurts his back.  He sleeps on the couch and I have the uncomfortable bed.  It works for us but we are still happily married.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: Style2011 on September 13, 2011, 05:32:56 am
I'm not getting married eveeeeeer....I love just the way my life is. ;D
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: tashamjoy on September 19, 2011, 07:39:17 pm
I personally think nothing is wrong with this at all !!! If this works for you great !!!! I think this is a great idea for some couples who just dont get along but dont want to divorce i have seen this with some people who just kinda dont have feelings for one another but do not want a divorce which i think this is a lot better then getting a divorce
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: fogarty815 on September 19, 2011, 07:51:08 pm
I don't think there is anything wrong with sleeping seperately. My husband and I have 2 small children and I catch him on the couch all the time now that our son has decided to sleep with us on occassion.  :binkybaby: I think the important part is that you have intimacy in the relationship and spend positive time together. Whether that's cuddling while watching a movie or playing a board game together. Don't let people judge your marriage solely on the seperate bedrooms thing.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: tantricia44 on September 19, 2011, 10:03:20 pm
If this arrangement is ok with you & your spouse why bring up the subject? Have other people in you're life been giving you a hard time with this mutual arrangement?
Personally, I see no problem with you're set up as long as both of you agree to it. I wonder though has you're husband tried to find help for his snoring problem? Snoring can also be an underling case of illness like sleep apnea. Some times people snore to compensate for breathing problems because sometimes they stop breathing while asleep. Get his doc to take a look at him.

If you're husband got cured for his snoring problems, would you still be in separate rooms?  :peace: :wave:
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: raven1114 on September 20, 2011, 12:20:11 am
i say whatever works best for the couple is what they should do.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: ricky981 on September 20, 2011, 02:05:17 am
I have been married for 17 years and for the last eight years I have a separate room from my husband.  We are happy with this arrangement.   Since  I have been on disability any type of noise bothers me (my husband's snoring).  What is wrong with this?
i think that's an issue why get married in the first place if your not going to be as one. i though love conquers all.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: mrstina08 on September 20, 2011, 08:08:05 am
I have to say this is fine for you. That is your normal but my husband and i have been together for years and have always shared our space. We both like it and that our normal.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: loulizlee on September 20, 2011, 08:58:38 am
My husband and I have been married for 48 years.  We have had separate rooms for several years now because he likes to sleep on a hard mattress, and I, with my arthritis, like the softest mattress possible.  We cannot afford a Sleep Number bed or something of that type, so we just gradually decided on separate rooms.  We are as close as we have even been and sleep better, too.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: chel3179 on September 20, 2011, 09:02:23 am
Nothing wrong with that at all. ESPECIALLY if there is snoring involved :)
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: ladycasshmere on September 20, 2011, 09:15:55 am
My spouse would have a fit if we has seperate rooms to sleep in but notice I said my spouse would have a fit!. Me on the other hand would not mind either way. After years of being together he still manages to rob me of my sleep. He snores. He goes to bed extra early then wakes me up out my sleep in the middle of the night. He is annoying.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: sommap on September 20, 2011, 09:17:44 am
 i think that's an issue why get married in the first place if your not going to be as one. i though love conquers all.
[/quote]

Love does not conquer all.  It does not conquer many issues.  Ifr you are both comfortable sleeping in separate rooms, I don't see anything wrong with it.  Some people like to read in bed ro a while, others like to watch television until they fall asleep.  Some people like to sleep very warm, others like the window partly open, even when it is cold.  Some people sleep very quietly, others move around all night.  Any of these could make sleeping with someone else difficult.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: kingreyam24 on September 20, 2011, 09:28:23 am
Nothing is wrong with it. You have to do what you have to do. I enjoy sleeping in the same room with my husband because it is really the only time we get to spend together between work and school.  :(
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: jessicaroselorr on September 21, 2011, 05:04:28 pm
You gotta do what you gotta do. I think many couples actually are very happy with this kind of arrangment.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: hollister237 on September 21, 2011, 07:43:18 pm
Awww. I don't think theres anything wrong with it. To each his own. It is odd though. I'm sure I would prefer that if I ever got married though.. I can't stand boys. Lmao.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: CHANEYLAKEGIRL on September 22, 2011, 07:08:42 am
There is nothing wrong with it. What ever works in your house is okee dokee.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: acurtsinger2 on September 22, 2011, 08:16:58 am
I wish I had my own room, he moves around all night and it disturbs my sleep sometimes.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: d1cheetah on September 22, 2011, 08:50:25 am
We don't have separate rooms, but we do have a spare bedroom.  She likes to let the dogs (3 small ones) cuddle in bed sometimes, and I get stuck on the edge of the bed.  I sometimes just crash in the spare bedroom and tell her the bed was too full.  It's all in fun, and we have been married over 30 years and continue to be best friends.  I think that's the important stuff.  Where you are laying when you are asleep should not be such an issue, as long as your relationship doesn't suffer from it. 
 ,
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: ljrjess69 on September 22, 2011, 09:10:01 am
i dont see a problem with seperate rooms
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: kapeh12 on September 22, 2011, 09:31:02 am
One of my co-workers has arrangements like that in her marriage - they sleep in separate rooms; plus they each have their own "hobby" room where the other is not allowed in unless invited - so they each have a private space to themselves when they need it.  She even said they take vacations apart - due to him liking outdoor activities (her not so much), and she liked doing things like museum tours (which he couldn't stand).  She said they have their "together" activities, but completely trust each other so the separate activities don't bother them or hurt their relationship - it actually helps it.

So as long as your arrangement works for you, absolutely nothing wrong with it in my opinion.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: mjdoug03 on September 22, 2011, 09:46:28 am
I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you're both okay with it.  And as long as you set aside time to come together, I don't think it's a big deal.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: eman27 on September 29, 2011, 08:26:23 am
I think if you have separate rooms and both of you are ok with this arrangement and it keeps the marriage thriving then I say go for it.  Especially since you have a disability and any noise bothers you then I see this as a caveat to the problem at hand.  However, if you did not have a disability and you guys just wanted separate rooms just because then I would be a little concerned.  But yet again, if this arrangement allows a positive energy flow and does not tamper with your marriage then I say go for it.  Wish you the best!!
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: ghunter on September 29, 2011, 09:11:20 am
Nothing is wrong with him sleeping in separate rooms in the house, but still share the same bedroom. What I mean is my husband snores also and he sleeps in a different bed, but we still share the bedroom, but as long as you too are happy with it I guess it's ok.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: Azanne07 on September 29, 2011, 10:33:14 am
i dont think anything is wrong with your situtation. And i think its more the reason why the couples have the seperate bedrooms than actually having the seperate rooms.

There are some days I sleep in the extra room because I just cant take the dogs in bed with us specially now that i am 7 months pregnant.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: letilebron on September 29, 2011, 11:26:33 am
we have separate rooms for work and studying purposes, but we sleep in the same bed at night...sometimes he falls asleep in his room and comes in when he realizes it. i don't see nothing wrong with that, besides you do need your own space at times.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: AISHASHOFUL on September 29, 2011, 11:27:44 am
If you need it there is nothing wrong with it so carry on.
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: lotsofbabies77 on September 29, 2011, 02:43:11 pm
i dont think there is anything wrong with that..some times its the only way to keep your sanity and not kill one another..i had that situation for almost 8 years and i was a happy camper.. ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: patrick122068 on September 29, 2011, 03:44:06 pm
There is nothing wrong with it, but if i was married, i would rather we sleep in the same room and bed with my wife! If it works for some people, then that's okay!
Title: Re: What is wrong with married couples having separate rooms in the house?
Post by: Queenmt on September 29, 2011, 05:29:37 pm
I have been married for almost 8 years and I couldn't imagine not laying done to sleep next to my husband. In certain situations i understand why married people do it, in some cases I don't.