Don't wish me a Happy Mother's Day

[countrygirl12]

Folks need to chill out and quit being offended over absolutely everything.

 
THIS is 100% true!

Just because someone does not like something does not mean they are "being offended".  I guarantee some of the ones who are the most vocal speaking out against people saying you should not say that to people you do not know would be upset if they were in town and their mother had just died a few days before Mother's Day or their child had just died - they would get upset by strangers telling them Happy Mother's Day.  If your only child died the day before Mother's Day you would not want some random idiot stranger all smiley and happy oh you have a Happy Mother's Day. 
And yes that actually happened locally.  A young child died on Saturday, the day before Mother's Day. I could not imagine how she would feel if some idiot yapped Happy Mother's Day at her.

[UGetPaid]

Folks need to chill out and quit being offended over absolutely everything.

Just because someone does not like something does not mean they are "being offended". 

I can agree to your point that there is a difference between not liking something and being offended by something. But I also think that snapping at someone who is obviously trying to be kind is an inappropriate reaction. If the "Happy Mothers Day" greeting is voiced with contempt or with the obvious intent to cause someone to get upset - then lashing out would be a wholly appropriate reaction. But if it the greeting is voiced with kindness or respect by someone who does not know the recipient's situation, I think the proper reaction would be to thank them for the sentiment and move on OR to thank them for the sentiment and then explain why it is not a happy day for you because of X,Y,Z.


I guarantee than most people who did not know about the negative situation, but were only trying to be nice would immediately apologize for any pain that their utterance might have caused (provided that the person explained the reason for their grief as opposed to angrily lashing out about it). I know that would be my reaction in that situation.


Not trying to antagonize, but I do disagree with the opinion that wishing a Happy {Whatever} Day is a greeting only meant for that own person's mother/father/sibling/child/etc. My own perspective, but I am quite appreciative of any Happy Father's Day wishes I receive from friends, family, or complete strangers. I don't recall a situation where I received such a greeting prior to my fatherhood, but it would not have bothered me.


I don't ask people if they are Christian before I wish them a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter when we are in those seasons. But I purposely choose not to use the neutralized "Happy Holidays" greeting.

[stevensm4]

Folks need to chill out and quit being offended over absolutely everything.

 
THIS is 100% true!

Just because someone does not like something does not mean they are "being offended".  I guarantee some of the ones who are the most vocal speaking out against people saying you should not say that to people you do not know would be upset if they were in town and their mother had just died a few days before Mother's Day or their child had just died - they would get upset by strangers telling them Happy Mother's Day.  If your only child died the day before Mother's Day you would not want some random idiot stranger all smiley and happy oh you have a Happy Mother's Day. 
And yes that actually happened locally.  A young child died on Saturday, the day before Mother's Day. I could not imagine how she would feel if some idiot yapped Happy Mother's Day at her.

Why does the stranger have to be an idiot when the problem lies with the person that has an issue with it?

[berthabutt]

                        Chillax!  A buttercup blooms from the pile of dog poo in your backyard.   

[countrygirl12]

Folks need to chill out and quit being offended over absolutely everything.

Just because someone does not like something does not mean they are "being offended". 

I can agree to your point that there is a difference between not liking something and being offended by something. But I also think that snapping at someone who is obviously trying to be kind is an inappropriate reaction. If the "Happy Mothers Day" greeting is voiced with contempt or with the obvious intent to cause someone to get upset - then lashing out would be a wholly appropriate reaction. But if it the greeting is voiced with kindness or respect by someone who does not know the recipient's situation, I think the proper reaction would be to thank them for the sentiment and move on OR to thank them for the sentiment and then explain why it is not a happy day for you because of X,Y,Z.


I guarantee than most people who did not know about the negative situation, but were only trying to be nice would immediately apologize for any pain that their utterance might have caused (provided that the person explained the reason for their grief as opposed to angrily lashing out about it). I know that would be my reaction in that situation.


Not trying to antagonize, but I do disagree with the opinion that wishing a Happy {Whatever} Day is a greeting only meant for that own person's mother/father/sibling/child/etc. My own perspective, but I am quite appreciative of any Happy Father's Day wishes I receive from friends, family, or complete strangers. I don't recall a situation where I received such a greeting prior to my fatherhood, but it would not have bothered me.


I don't ask people if they are Christian before I wish them a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter when we are in those seasons. But I purposely choose not to use the neutralized "Happy Holidays" greeting.

Then we disagree.  Clearly Mother's Day is for YOUR MOTHER.  It is a personal holiday. Kind of like someone telling you Happy Birthday on MY Birthday.  I have never "lashed out" at anyone.   I did get upset when customers kept saying that to me when I was working retail.  No it was not a good day for me.   I wanted to be with my family not working.  Everyone is different and everyone has a right to their own opinion.  I actually don't say Happy anything any more.  The same retail place I mentioned earlier I said Merry Christmas to someone and they person literally flipped out in a physotic rage.

As for the Happy Father's Day - that is great for you.  I assume you still have your father and you have kids so it's all good.  It is different for someone who no longer has their father or does not have kids.  Maybe their child died, maybe they wanted kids and could not have them.  I can just see why people would be upset by the comment if you don't know them.

[countrygirl12]

Folks need to chill out and quit being offended over absolutely everything.

 
THIS is 100% true!

Just because someone does not like something does not mean they are "being offended".  I guarantee some of the ones who are the most vocal speaking out against people saying you should not say that to people you do not know would be upset if they were in town and their mother had just died a few days before Mother's Day or their child had just died - they would get upset by strangers telling them Happy Mother's Day.  If your only child died the day before Mother's Day you would not want some random idiot stranger all smiley and happy oh you have a Happy Mother's Day. 
And yes that actually happened locally.  A young child died on Saturday, the day before Mother's Day. I could not imagine how she would feel if some idiot yapped Happy Mother's Day at her.

Why does the stranger have to be an idiot when the problem lies with the person that has an issue with it?

A person who does not want strangers wishing them Happy Mother's Day does not have issues.  So the idiot is also the person who says a woman has "issues" because she does not want strangers to wish her a Happy Mother's day. 

[Nancy5]

This comment isn’t about wishing anything.  I do not think elementary schools should have Lets make Happy Mothers Day or Fathers Day cards.  Let’s stop Daddy and daughter day, and mommy and daughter day.  I was 9 when my father was killed in a gas explosion on December 14. (That was a great Christmas)  I had no brothers or close uncles.  When daddy dance days, or bring daddy into school to talk about his job or hobby came up, can you imagine how I (and other kids) felt.  I would cry myself to sleep those nights, I always felt different.  This was years ago when divorce was rare and death of a parent even rarer.  Now with lots of kids without fathers for different reasons, I can only imagine how they feel.

[stevensm4]

Folks need to chill out and quit being offended over absolutely everything.

 
THIS is 100% true!

Just because someone does not like something does not mean they are "being offended".  I guarantee some of the ones who are the most vocal speaking out against people saying you should not say that to people you do not know would be upset if they were in town and their mother had just died a few days before Mother's Day or their child had just died - they would get upset by strangers telling them Happy Mother's Day.  If your only child died the day before Mother's Day you would not want some random idiot stranger all smiley and happy oh you have a Happy Mother's Day. 
And yes that actually happened locally.  A young child died on Saturday, the day before Mother's Day. I could not imagine how she would feel if some idiot yapped Happy Mother's Day at her.

Why does the stranger have to be an idiot when the problem lies with the person that has an issue with it?

A person who does not want strangers wishing them Happy Mother's Day does not have issues.  So the idiot is also the person who says a woman has "issues" because she does not want strangers to wish her a Happy Mother's day. 

And only an idiot would make a statement like this because if it were necessarily true, that same idiot wouldn't be defending those that clearly have issue with it unless it were a problem.

[UGetPaid]

As for the Happy Father's Day - that is great for you.  I assume you still have your father and you have kids so it's all good.  It is different for someone who no longer has their father or does not have kids. 

Since you asked/assumed, I lost my father in February six years ago to a very bad illness compounded with dementia which led to a very difficult final few weeks for him and for us. He lived several hours away from me so I did not get to see him often. I spoke to him briefly on the telephone one day and two days later I came home knowing his time was short - he was no longer able to communicate or respond to any communication. He was only able to hold my hand and squeeze it weakly when I talked to him. I was blessed to be there in the room with him when he finally stopped breathing a few days later.


Father's Days from 2015 through 2020 have all still been very special for me and I have not felt burdened on those days due to no longer having my dad with me. I would not have felt that someone wishing me a Happy Father's Day for my dad to be an idiot or insensitive. But we all react differently.


My father-in-law died three years prior to my birth. By all accounts he was a kind and generous man with whom I would have gotten along tremendously and would have dearly loved. Not only was I denied that chance, more tragically, my wife was robbed of any memories of her dad - other than what she believes is a memory of him "sleeping" on a pretty pillow (i.e. lying in his casket). She lost her mom in her early 20's. Losing both parents at such a young age affected her deeply. But she has never felt it inappropriate or idiotic for others to wish her Happy {fill-in-the-parent} Day.


But we all react differently... It's all good.

[Nancy5]

My father-in-law died three years prior to my birth. By all accounts he was a kind and generous man with whom I would have gotten along tremendously and would have dearly loved. Not only was I denied that chance, more tragically, my wife was robbed of any memories of her dad - other than what she believes is a memory of him "sleeping" on a pretty pillow (i.e. lying in his casket). She lost her mom in her early 20's. Losing both parents at such a young age affected her deeply. But she has never felt it inappropriate or idiotic for others to wish her Happy {fill-in-the-parent} Day.




UGetPaid, I’m so very sorry about your dad’s passing.  My mother also died from Alzheimer’s and it is a very hard disease to watch.  My heart breaks for you and especially for your wife losing both parents at an early age.