Why do people stay mad at each other for so long?

[lgemini]

I was mad at my sister about not respecting me at my mother's birthday party.  Now looking back on it, she was mad at something else, but she turn her hate to me.   I wanted to yell at her, but I could not.  I got mad at her and did not want to talk to her or look at her for four weeks.  Then I thought to myself what if my sister dies, how would I feel about letting hate come in my heart.  That is when it hit me.  I see why people who do not let hate stay with them.  Once I forgave my sister and forgot the hate, I felt so much better.  The more you stay mad at someone, the longer you keep yourself sick with hate and you are not able to grow or to move on.   If I learn anything this year from Oprah's life classes, it is to release the stress in your life.   I hope everyone have a Wonderful New Year!  I know I will!

[timvolley]

i agree it is important with anger not to let it eat you up inside.

[marcar1008]

Congratulations, you are FREE ! I know some people can stay mad forever. Thank God that you opened your eyes on time. My brother in law is mad at one of my other brother in law. That is sooo sad. If my mother in law was alive, she would of placed them in place. I just wish they forgive before it is too late. I don't want them with guilt while they face a grave.

[jzmom]

That is a very good question.  I had a friend(notice had) years ago that would get mad at me for every little thing.  When she was mad
it would last for about a month each time. She would tell everyone we knew about it. It got really old.  So when I moved away from the area we lived I cut all ties with her. What a relief that was.  I get over things pretty quick for the most part, usually within a day or less.

[JediJohnnie]

Unfortunately,it's always easier to hate than to forgive.

[cloudsoup]

sometimes, it's hard not to hold a grudge!
luckily there have only been one or two people who
have done something so unforgivable that they bought
themselves a one way ticket out of my life. i'm better
off without them.

good for you that you and your sister reconciled 
i'm sure she is irreplaceable and is relieved to have you
back too.

[pstovall]

According to "The Secret", if you are hating someone, you will only attract more reasons to "hate" into your life.   Wouldn't it be better to spend that emotional energy on finding all the things in your life that you are "grateful" for?

[masked_brown_guy]

LOL oprah.

[velvet53]

This is a good topic. I can't and won't stay mad at anyone. It just made me feel miserable when I did and I didn't like that. I don't have the time or energy to stay mad at a person cause it takes away from me. My sons can stay mad at someone forever and I wish they would get over it. Like you said, what if they died.

[dreamyxo]

Ego.  People have a need to be right.

[kapeh12]

I found in most cases the only one who is mostly impacted by being mad is yourself - harboring those negative emotions.  Typically the subject you are mad at really doesn't care.  So why waste the energy.  If you forgive them of the incident, you release that negative emotion from yourself, which is healthier for you.

Now forgiving doesn't necessarily mean you won't learn and change your behavior around that individual.  For example, if you were mad because they took something or broke something, it would be wise to watch your stuff next time they are around or take steps to minimize the chance they could do something that would make you mad again.

[blondie71]

My grandmother always said don't go to bed angry.  I try not to stay mad or hate anyone.  I decided I don't hate anyone but I hate the action or they way they are not the person.  Everyone makes mistakes and we are all guilty of that so I think I feel better but that doesn't mean my feelings doesn't get hurt because they do and I just cry and let it all out and try to forget it.

[ninajay]

I think some people are just stubborn and would rather stay angry than forgive and let it go. I have a friend like that. We're cool, but I know there are people she has been angry with since hi school.

[gbabesmom]

My mom was angry with me just a couple months ago. She refused to talk to me. Then she got sick and had to go to the hospital. My brother told me he would tell my mom that I was worried about her. She called me a couple of days later. I don't know why people stay mad. It's a very sad way to live. 

[pfrancis001]

I don't know.  My sister stop talking to me 7 months ago,  All because I was in the hospital and she made it a joke  to others.  So I told her it was no laughing matter when you are twisting in pain and crying when the doctor don't kow whats wrong.  Still dont know whats wrong but I am dealing with the pain these days.  I am not mad at my sister even tho all this happen.  She was in the hospital for a whole week and I spent the days with her while I work at night (12 hr shift).  I pray that one day she realize what she did.  until than I m here.  thanks for letting me vent.