To avoid an arguement

[premar16]

So me and my sister are planning on moving in the next two months so that I wont be so isolated in my small slightly racist town.My best friend who is also my neighbor was planning to move at the same time to the same apartment complex when we choose one.She is older than my by about 14 yrs so sometimes she thinks she is my mother which is fine.Except lately she seem to believe that wherever she goes i will follow like a puppy.And to some extent its true I am not close to my family and she has become family.But she seems to change her mind every day about what town to move to.Sometimes based on our current  life situations.The other day she asked me if wanted to move to a certain just because she went on a date from a guy from that town.Its driving me crazy .i have found apartments that I want to move into that is close to my family/friends Her newest thing is that she has decided that rent is to expense in every town except for the town we moved from originally.the problem with this is I know no one in this town.( plus her abusive ex lives and his large influential family)So I would have the same problems I have now.I foresee an argument what do I .Please help i think i found the perfect place and I dont know what to do

[falcon9]

Move to where it'll be best for you, as you determine that to be.

So me and my sister are planning on moving in the next two months so that I wont be so isolated in my small slightly racist town.My best friend who is also my neighbor was planning to move at the same time to the same apartment complex when we choose one.She is older than my by about 14 yrs so sometimes she thinks she is my mother which is fine.Except lately she seem to believe that wherever she goes i will follow like a puppy.And to some extent its true I am not close to my family and she has become family.But she seems to change her mind every day about what town to move to.Sometimes based on our current  life situations.The other day she asked me if wanted to move to a certain just because she went on a date from a guy from that town.Its driving me crazy .i have found apartments that I want to move into that is close to my family/friends Her newest thing is that she has decided that rent is to expense in every town except for the town we moved from originally.the problem with this is I know no one in this town.( plus her abusive ex lives and his large influential family)So I would have the same problems I have now.I foresee an argument what do I .Please help i think i found the perfect place and I dont know what to do

[sherryinutah]

Move to the "perfect" place for YOU.  Do what you feel is best for you and respect the fact that your friend might do something different.  You each deserve to have your own life even if it means that after you move...you might find a new best friend at your new location.  Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[marciaenglish]

Follow your heart;  if she is a true friend; she will understand and respect you for it!

[krissi79]

Be your own person and move to a town that fits you. IF she is a true friend she will understand. also sit with her and tell her how u feel. Good luck

[dreamyxo]

Remind her that you have to do what is best for you and your situation. 

[vickysue]

My sister din't want me to get married and move from where i lived, all she wanted was a place too stay when she came in from out of town. I did it any way and it has been 19 years and i don't think she is any happier now then she was then. But i am. You just gotta do what feels right too you.

[tammypete]

You have to do what is best for "you"....Do what will make "you" happy....Good luck..

[ancmetro]

 
    Live life on your own terms. After all, it is your life. Avoid arguments and confrontations with others.

[premar16]

so a new development my friend just told me that since she has an eviction on her record she has to pay 4000 dollar fine before a new place will let her move in.I was planning on moving in august so that I can have civilation and my mentally disabled sister can get the social programs she needs.She needs routine,and things to keep her busy to stay sane.The town I live in now is so small there is not even a bank or library.What the heck do I do .SO i stay to be loyal to my  friend who when I was homeless took me and nursed back to health during my depression or do I move to help my sanity and my sister need to keep busy helppppppp I dont know what to do.Oh and I already saved some money and called apartments

[johnvon23]

i'm not really good with confrontations. I usually keep it to myself but it's really hard cause whether we like it or not, time will come that we will have to express it. talking stick is one way to do it

[falcon9]

i'm not really good with confrontations. I usually keep it to myself but it's really hard cause whether we like it or not, time will come that we will have to express it. talking stick is one way to do it

You mean you hit them with the stick instead?

[dreamyxo]

You are not obligated to take care of your friend financially.  Her eviction is her fault not yours and she needs to be responsible for her own actions.  Are you rich?  I didn't think so.  You need to make decisions based on what is best for you and your sister and not your friend.  Maybe one day if you are in the position you can return a favor for your friend but friendship should not be about playing tit for tat. 

[cloudsoup]

surely everyone involved in the move knows about
your disabled sister and understands that you're doing
this for you and most importantly her.

i would set up appointments to look at the apartment
complexes i was trying to decide on and take some brochures
from their offices to show my friend. just approach it positively
and she'll either follow you or she won't. don't let others make
important life decisions for you, based on their needs.

good luck 

[premar16]

thanks for all your help it blew up in my face and we are no longer friends but on the plus side I am moving