Smoking

[Nancy5]

I quit smoking 12 years ago.  I had a very good girlfriend who I went to clubs with and had lots of fun.  She moved and just returned to the area  She still smokes (1 - 2 packs a day)  I want to "hang" with her, but how do I tell her not to smoke in my car or house.  I tried one time and her answer was something like "what's the big deal, you used to smoke & I smoked in your
car and house hundreds of times"  I want to see her but how do I get her to understand.  My husband said tell her he refuses smoking in the house but I don't want to say that

[kleenex40]

She should respect the fact that you dont want smoking in your car and home/just tell her the smoke bothers you and if she still dont get it then she not a real friend no afence

[dhet212]

Your friend should respect your wishes if she is a real friend.

[blondie71]

People who smoke usually understand about the smoking in the car or your home.  My husband and I are trying to quiet smoking and I done told everyone when we quiet no one is smoking in the house or the car.  They understood.  I have to quiet I just got told by my doctor that I have the starting of emphazema and I still have time where I could quit and stop the progress or at lest slow it down a lot.

[jsmith96]

That's Great Nancy,12 years, Glad you've quit.

Wish I could say the same for myself.  I've smoked for over 40 years and don't think I'll be quiting any time soon...
Now, If your friend won't honor you and your husbands request not to smoke in your car & house, that has something to say about the friendship to begin with. Don't ask her not to smoke in your house & car, TELL HER not too... It's your life and you do not need to be subjected to the smoke/smell of someone who truly disregards your feelings... Like I said, I smoke but if/when it bothers others I will put it out before I get in the car or enter the house.
Geezz, What kinda friend is that anyway, not to respect your wishes !!!!!
~~~Jerry~~~

[luvh8tragedy87]

Yeah, if she's your real friend then she'll cut it out. It's your house and car not hers.

[mariek09]

Oh yes she should defiantly respect you I understand where you are coming from I use to smoke a couple years ago (I have not smoked since) and I HATE the smell of it, and I had a family member who would smoke in my house/ car and I would just tell them I wouldn't be rude about it but if they wouldn't understand I would get  mad because I quit when I had my child I don't like him around smoke and if my child's parents don't smoke then people who do smoke that come around me or my child should not be aloud to either.  I don't like when others smoke around me either because I don't want to smell like smoke around my child either.

[PMZ908]

sounds like your friend has no respect

[remediagirl]

A friend that has no respect is not a friend at all.

[reiddb]

You have to just tell her you realize how harmful it is now and you just can't have it in the house.  If you want to sit outside when she "needs" one, do that with her, otherwise you'll just have to go neutral places to hang out.

[king4cash]

Hey man, you should give her an ultimatum, that is no smoking in my house, car or yard. Once you give them a yard, they want to take a mile. Do not keep her in your house or car if she refuses.

[vickysue]

we still smoke, but nolonger in the house. which has stopped my hubby from smokeing 2 packs a day down to less then 1 pack, hoping to get it down more, I still smoke maybe 5 a day if that much. But when he was smoking in the house i would light up more cigs. And now that it is cold maybe will get him to cut down more. Hoping.

[Boise40]

I have 2 older brothers and they both smoke. David is more respectful than our brother Matt. Matt can be disrespectful by smoking in our mom's vehicle. I hate the smell of smoke ever since I finally manage to quit smoking myself. I enjoy visiting my mom and brothers but, I hate coming home with my clothes smelling like smoke. My brothers smoke in our mom's house but, in their bedroom. Anyways, I hate the smell of smoke and I hope my brothers could quit smoking too.

[babyturtles23]

If she was an actual good friend then she would respect your wishes and respect it even more knowing that it's smoking in YOUR car YOUR house and that you quit smoking. There is no need to lie to her or to take what she is giving you. You should just tell her how you honestly feel.

[Nancy5]

Thanks everyone    You all said basically the same thing.  I was also thinking the same but didn"t want to hurt her feelings.  But it's not her feelings that are important - it's my feelings and my health!  You guys are the best!!