Unreliable Friends

[dmahoney]

I have a couple of "friends" that I have had for many years that lately have become unreliable. I am going thru a difficult time in my life right now and really need to lean on my friends and they never seem to be available for some reason or another.     What would you do in this situation? 

[anotherlaujgirl]

I'm still a teen only, but when Im facing difficult situations even it seems my friends are too busy for me...

I let them know I need them more than ever. Even if i don't get too much attention and help,
I still get some.

I dont know if that helps or if it'll help you, but.

Letting them know how much you need their help might be a start...??

[ghunter]

I would not call them friends, because a friend should be there when you need them.  A friend in need is a friend indeed.

[PGS28]

You need to get some new friends.  They are suppose to be there for you without you even having to ask.  I know everyone is busy, but we make time for what we want.

I had this same problem last year with me finding myself having to ask for friends' time.  Then when I moved on to focusing on my goals and making other friends I simply told my 2 old friends that I was tired of having to beg for people's time.  They made excuses, but I know it had a lot with me telling them I won't be going to the club every single weekend, I'm a mom and that's not a good look. 

I'm super excited to meet other positive minded women with similar interests when I move to Texas at the end of this month.  Maybe those friends that aren't being there for you are suppose to be apart of a past chapter in your life.

[melman1]

I have a couple of "friends" that I have had for many years that lately have become unreliable. I am going thru a difficult time in my life right now and really need to lean on my friends and they never seem to be available for some reason or another.     What would you do in this situation? 

If they have been there for you in the past I think you should give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they are going through a rough patch also, and are thinking the same things that you are thinking. I would suggest scheduling a get-together with all of them. That way you can bring it out in the open and discuss it with them. Then, if they don't respond, at least you will know that you did the right thing.
Good Luck, and I hope things get better for you.

[LaTashaS28]

I agree that a friend should be there for you no matter what you are going through in your life right now, and if your friends now can't do that for you then there is a problem and you need to analyze the friendship that you all have together or find some new friends that will be there with you all the way.

[cloudsoup]

the older i get, the flakier my acquaintances become.
i really try to make an effort not to flake out on my friends,
but only a couple return the favor. you wonder - is it me?
is it them? is it social anxiety? why aren't they reliable when
you try to be there for them 

it's hurtful, not to mention annoying.

have you came right out and said, look... i really need someone
to talk to right now. ( ? ) maybe they don't know how serious
it is...

[sgluckadoo]

I have a couple of "friends" that I have had for many years that lately have become unreliable. I am going thru a difficult time in my life right now and really need to lean on my friends and they never seem to be available for some reason or another.     What would you do in this situation? 

I totally relate and am sorry you are having this experience. sometimes you find out who your friends really are. I have friends that I have really been there for at their worst and they do not do the same. some of them are clueless and dont even know they are not recipricating, but it is still hard to have a one sided friendship.

dont make friends with selfish or self absorbed people unless you understand that they will not be there for you - not that this is necessarily what you are dealing with.

[sherryinutah]

It sounds like your friends have moved on and are busy with their own lives.  Maybe it's time to make new friends.   

[alaskakaren]

If you have some sort of hobby or organization you are interested in...go out and spend time with people with similar interests to you.  It will feel good to meet new people and it seems like you just need people around to talk to...make some new friends. 

[dmahoney]

I appreciate all your responses. Cloudsoup you hit the nail on the head of how I have been thinking. I have come what out and told them I needed them. One is busy and sorry the other other is going thru her own stuff. Guess it's time to move on.