Break Ups

[sarahlee]

Is it ok to still be good friends with your ex after you've split up? My bf is still very good friends with his ex gf and they seem to see each other at least once a week. My bf tells me it's better to be friends then to be angry and hate each other. This is true--but to be seeing each other like once a week is crazy. I say bumping into each other somewhere and being polite is ok. But my bf seems to call his ex and ask her for help on things just to see her. I'm tired of this and he'll get upset if I say anything about it. Look--I'm here. He can ask me for help.
What is the best advice anyone can give? I've tried biting my toung but it's getting very sore.(he he)
Please help?? Thanks

[hollister237]

It really depends on how he feels about her still. I would say a safe bet is to let your significant other be friends with their exes but only if they were the ones to break it off. If they weren't the ones to break it off, there might be complications in your significant other wanting their ex back. I am still friends with some of my exes that I have no feelings for and would never think about going back to them, just because I was the one that broke it off. Just a thought.

[camellia0]

You need to move on because your bf still has feelings for his ex and it seems like if he can get another chance with her, he will and you will be out in the cold. If he needs to see her, then you should be able to be there with them. Don't stand by and let him spend time with his ex that could be spent with you. Drop that zero.

[minioncookies]

Leaving the past behind is hard enough, and you don't want part of your past still programmed in your cell phone. Although it's easier for the dumper, recovering from a breakup is still a hard thing to do since it means being single again, getting back into the dating scene and no longer making that daily goodnight call you and your ex used to share.
But having that person lingering in your life as a constant reminder makes it even harder to move on with your life, meet new people and turn a fresh page. It's almost like keeping one foot in the past, and another struggling to make it back into the pickup scene.

It also might be a better idea to leave things with pleasant memories of the other person, rather than drag the potentially doomed relationship through the mud.

In a perfect world, the ideal would be for exes to succeed at being friends, but in one where bitterness, jealousy, passion, and human nature exceed reasoning and rational thought, it's impossible. Unless the two of you were the best of friends before, both broke up on the same terms in a perfectly mutual breakup, both have no qualms about either of you seeing new people, and have both instilled a policy of total honesty, you're better to leave the friendship behind... along with the memories.

[djohnson43]

I say if the two of them don't have any lingering feelings for each other and are just friends then let it be. Sometimes best friends end up becoming girlfriend/boyfriend and then that doesn't feel right anymore and they want to go back to being just friends. It doesn't hurt unless there is still sexual feelings between the two.