They're 18... do they stay or do they go?

[Nancy5]

When my girls graduated high school they both went to college that fall.  During the summer they did whatever they wanted and paid us nothing.  My husband and I decided this was probably their last 'free' summer.  Neither lived at home while in school, and both held part time jobs.  During the summer, when they came home, they had sumner jobs and paid us nothing.  We would rather have them put some money towards school rather then give it to us.  When they graduated they came home to look for a full time job.  Both stayed with us, after they started working full time, for about 1 year to save money.  They paid us nothing, but paid for everything they wanted on their own.  After the year, they got an apartment, met their future husbands, got married and both live close to us! 

[natashaspy]

when I turned 16, I was told to get a job...2 days after my 16th birthday I started working and started paying rent with my first paycheck.  my son was also made to get a job when he turned 16..however he doesnt pay rent.  he only works a couple of days a week, 4 hours a day.  i think it helps him get work experience and teaches him the value of a dollar.  we do charge him $50 a month for his insurance, but it actually costs us $1200 a year.  obviously he cant pay that much, doesnt make it lol.  but what we do charge teaches him bills come first.

[sak4kat]

It seems most of us learned early on that life isn't cheap.  At what age do you think is appropriate to begin planting seeds of ... someday you'll have your own bills, needs and wants to pay for? 

[betlynjua]

My kids are getting older and the subject of becoming independent adults has come up frequently in our household.  I'm a believer that when you are 18 and out of high school it's time to make some grown up decisions and take on grown up responsibilities.  I have no problem with my kids living at home while going to college or pursuing career's... as long as they start paying for a % of the cost of living.  What are your views on this?  I was married and out of the house on my own at 19... directly after highschool my Mom expected me to pay for my own stuff. ie: make up, gas, car insurance

Children have to learn responsibility very early in life.  For example they should learn to clean up their room, pick up their toys, and as they get older help with chores around the house, like sweeping and mopping the floors and washing dishes.  As they are learning responsibility, then they can begin to learn independence.  If they can demonstrate responsibility then hopefully they will carry that on into their adult lives.  There are no guarantees but every little bit helps.  As I got older, I set aside funds to help with "rent" under the roof of my parents.  I turned out just fine and my parents were 2 of my best friends.  I totally agree with you in that if your kids want to stay home while attending college, it should not be free and clear.  They should be expected to experience life in an adult world.