Question please??????????

[cateyes1]

Ok, my ex husband with whom I share a daughter, who has not even seen her in 36 years. Well I found him on FB awhile back. His birthday was just the other day Jan 19th, I PM him a Happy Birthday. My daughter got upset with me for doing so. I told her that just because he is an a&&hole I thought why should I be, and so I sent him the Happy Birthday....she said "Ma ask anyone and they will agree that I was wrong to do so" After she was born we did get a divorce and he NEVER looked back. so was that a dumb move on my part?...she said that he is probably laughing at me now but I really don't care...we are both 58 years young.

[Nancy5]

You will probably get lots of different answers, but I know if it would have been me, there would be no way I would have messaged him Happy Birthday, did he ever message you or your daughter in 36 years?  But that's just my opinion.

[cateyes1]

You will probably get lots of different answers, but I know if it would have been me, there would be no way I would have messaged him Happy Birthday, did he ever message you or your daughter in 36 years?  But that's just my opinion.

Nancy my daughter said the exact same thing you did....and no he NEVER did to either one of us...I feel so stupid now...NEVER again!!...I don't even know why I did ugh!

[countrygirl12]

There was nothing wrong with sending him a Happy Birthday wish.  He isn't necessarily laughing at you.  But unless you want to get back together or have some sort of relationship with him I do not see the point in sending him a message or having contact.  Just opens the doors for him to start talking to you.  And obviously your alls daughter does not want to have anything to do with him.

[cateyes1]

There was nothing wrong with sending him a Happy Birthday wish.  He isn't necessarily laughing at you.  But unless you want to get back together or have some sort of relationship with him I do not see the point in sending him a message or having contact.  Just opens the doors for him to start talking to you.  And obviously your alls daughter does not want to have anything to do with him.

Hun I just noticed the date and just decided to do it. my first or 2nd time in all these years I've done so. I think that I was thinking that we are getting up in years and thought maybe he would contact my daughter at least. But, I guess once a loser, ALWAYS a loser!

[gaylasue]

I don't see anything wrong with it if it was something you wanted to do and it didn't hurt anyone.  I personally probably would not have even acknowledged him nor his birthday.  I would possibly send him an acknowledgement on the divorce anniversary, though.

[cateyes1]

I don't see anything wrong with it if it was something you wanted to do and it didn't hurt anyone.  I personally probably would not have even acknowledged him nor his birthday.  I would possibly send him an acknowledgement on the divorce anniversary, though.

I like that idea lol, thanks

[countrygirl12]

There was nothing wrong with sending him a Happy Birthday wish.  He isn't necessarily laughing at you.  But unless you want to get back together or have some sort of relationship with him I do not see the point in sending him a message or having contact.  Just opens the doors for him to start talking to you.  And obviously your alls daughter does not want to have anything to do with him.

Hun I just noticed the date and just decided to do it. my first or 2nd time in all these years I've done so. I think that I was thinking that we are getting up in years and thought maybe he would contact my daughter at least. But, I guess once a loser, ALWAYS a loser!

It wasn't wrong to contact him.  I just probably would not have. lol.  It is pretty sad he has a kid and he has never wanted to talk to her.  And this late in the game if I were her I would not want to hear from him.

[countrygirl12]

I don't see anything wrong with it if it was something you wanted to do and it didn't hurt anyone.  I personally probably would not have even acknowledged him nor his birthday.  I would possibly send him an acknowledgement on the divorce anniversary, though.

lol.  That's funny.

[cateyes1]

There was nothing wrong with sending him a Happy Birthday wish.  He isn't necessarily laughing at you.  But unless you want to get back together or have some sort of relationship with him I do not see the point in sending him a message or having contact.  Just opens the doors for him to start talking to you.  And obviously your alls daughter does not want to have anything to do with him.

Hun I just noticed the date and just decided to do it. my first or 2nd time in all these years I've done so. I think that I was thinking that we are getting up in years and thought maybe he would contact my daughter at least. But, I guess once a loser, ALWAYS a loser!

It wasn't wrong to contact him.  I just probably would not have. lol.  It is pretty sad he has a kid and he has never wanted to talk to her.  And this late in the game if I were her I would not want to hear from him.

Yeah, she actually told me that she wants nothing to do with him. She said that you cant miss what you never had. I need to smarten up lol

[BlackSheepNY]

Ok, my ex husband with whom I share a daughter, who has not even seen her in 36 years. Well I found him on FB awhile back. His birthday was just the other day Jan 19th, I PM him a Happy Birthday. My daughter got upset with me for doing so. I told her that just because he is an a&&hole I thought why should I be, and so I sent him the Happy Birthday....she said "Ma ask anyone and they will agree that I was wrong to do so" After she was born we did get a divorce and he NEVER looked back. so was that a dumb move on my part?...she said that he is probably laughing at me now but I really don't care...we are both 58 years young.

Well, it all comes down to your own preference in this situation but, if I had to do this myself - I agree with your daughter.  You're not being an a** by ignoring it's his birthday.  If my ex treated my kids the way your ex treated your daughter, there's no way in h*ll I'd want to even remember his name, let alone wish him a happy birthday.  Good riddance to bad rubbish!

[cateyes1]

Ok, my ex husband with whom I share a daughter, who has not even seen her in 36 years. Well I found him on FB awhile back. His birthday was just the other day Jan 19th, I PM him a Happy Birthday. My daughter got upset with me for doing so. I told her that just because he is an a&&hole I thought why should I be, and so I sent him the Happy Birthday....she said "Ma ask anyone and they will agree that I was wrong to do so" After she was born we did get a divorce and he NEVER looked back. so was that a dumb move on my part?...she said that he is probably laughing at me now but I really don't care...we are both 58 years young.

Well, it all comes down to your own preference in this situation but, if I had to do this myself - I agree with your daughter.  You're not being an a** by ignoring it's his birthday.  If my ex treated my kids the way your ex treated your daughter, there's no way in h*ll I'd want to even remember his name, let alone wish him a happy birthday.  Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Thank you blacksheep. That, I will never do again though.

[Skyenkit]

I'm curious! What did he say??? 😄

[JaniceSW]

I simply think it shows you are the bigger person, more maturity, and able to put the past to bed.  Just be sure to not let it open a dialogue in any way with him.  You never know what his motives might be.  Now that you've done something you felt was a nice gesture, close that door!!!!

[cateyes1]

I simply think it shows you are the bigger person, more maturity, and able to put the past to bed.  Just be sure to not let it open a dialogue in any way with him.  You never know what his motives might be.  Now that you've done something you felt was a nice gesture, close that door!!!!

I love you Janice, that is exactly what I said to my daughter. I told her that just because he's an a$$, I don't have to be one too!!