Messages

16

Off-Topic / Re: Married over 15 years, two of them happy and have met someone special-what now?

« on: February 18, 2011, 08:56:03 am »Message ID: 315226

tresben00,
I surely hope your last post is what you have really decided. I have been on both sides of the fence - I am a woman, who can proudly say "now I am a lady".  My parents cheated on each other, the old saying 'children live what they learn' is so true! My marriage was not the best, I did try to work on it, arranging time off work for my husband & planning a week vacation for him & I to try to revive our feelings for each other - or maybe it was for me to try to revive my feelings for him. The vacation was a flop - he wouldn't stop to see any of the sites. The only thing he was interested in was 'under the sheets'. A woman needs to feel she is more than just a u know what to her man. Do you ever buy your wife a gift JUST BECAUSE? Plan a romantic night out without expecting her to do her 'wifely' duties afterwards? You can't expect to treat your wife like a piece of meat, total house keeper etc & think that she is going to show affection! We fought, argued & yes a few times he got physical with me, forced me to do things I didn't want to do, but I did want things to work out.
I did get involved with a married man - (after my divorce) it has been over for 10 years & I am still heart broken. If a man or woman has no more scrupples than to cheat on their spouse, or to be the other woman like I was -  Well, there is nothing coming to them. I have made my apolgies, cleaned the slate & have been born again.

As has already been said, the kids suffer terribly & the cycle can just continue like crazy.

17

Off-Topic / Re: SHOPPING

« on: February 18, 2011, 08:16:22 am »Message ID: 315209

Target is my favorite place to shop because I search for the nooks & crannies where the clearance items are. But ... with the econmy the way it is, & being on a fixed income (disability) I can no longer afford to go shopping just for the heck of it.  I am happy for those who can though. Also I always felt I couldn't afford Macy's, but went with my daughter once when they were having a sale - the prices were cheaper than a lot of the discount stores, plus at times they have discount coupons in the paper. Bought my infant grand daughter a beautiful & practicle snow suit there for $7.00, you can't beat that price.

18

Off-Topic / Re: do you like when is raining a lot

« on: February 18, 2011, 08:08:42 am »Message ID: 315206

I love a nice rain storm - as long as people don't get flooded. Rain reminds me of when I was a kid, my siblings & I would set on our front porch covered with blankets to help keep the mist or blowing rain off of us. We would laugh, talk & just have a good time. My daughter, when she was little was afraid of storms - I would pull the rocker to the window, rock her & sing to her & talk about the thunder (telling her the potato wagon had spilled - just like I was told as a kid) She is still afraid of storms at 35, but she remembers our times during storms when she was little & they are good memories for us both. I also remember being a kid & playing in the rain - seems now there are no rains without storms.     To this day - I love setting in my apartment & watching the rain or a good storm.

19

Off-Topic / Re: Are you a care taker?

« on: February 13, 2011, 07:18:09 pm »Message ID: 313550

Thank you for your input. First please know, that I know, things could be much worse & I thank & praise God that it is no worse than it is. He is on Aricept, which doesn't seem to be keeping him stable or slowing down the process. I think part of my problem is the guilt I feel when I just want to cry, & have some ME time.

Angelhome,
My favorite saying is: "Look around - there is always someone who has it worse."  God bless you, I don't think I could do, nor deal with all that you do. But when the need arises what choice do we have.
I know I do need to find an on-line support group. I went to a local meeting, but they just stayed so off topic I felt it was a waste of my time. I will do some checking & also will check again into what I can find for him. I cannot imagine having this condition, knowing what is happening & knowing what will happen & not have any control, having to depend so much on others. I hope I didn't come across as being evil, I love & care for him till my heart breaks. He doesn't trust but a few people & no way would he let anyone in to cook even one meal a day for him. He is so paranoid. At least when summer comes he will get out & walk but of course then I worry about him getting lost. Need to get the bracelet that has all the information on it for him.
Again, thanks for the responses, sometimes it helps just to know you are not alone.

20

Off-Topic / Are you a care taker?

« on: February 13, 2011, 06:34:42 am »Message ID: 313319

I am 59 & care taker of my 55 year old brother who has Dementia.
This is one of many really sad & depressing conditions. We have seperate apartments, but live in the same building. He pops in & out of my apartment many times a day.  As cruel as it sounds, I have started locking my door for an hour each day just so I know I will have that small amount of time to myself. I have to grit my teeth when he tells me the same story time & time & time again. When I have to tell him the name of someone several times a day, there are times I want to scream! I know I sound evil - believe me I am not. I am happy I can help him, glad he is in this building so I can keep an eye on him. I have 2 other siblings in this state - close by, but I am the the one who takes him to see all 4 of his doctors. I have health issues of my own which I have put my appointments on hold because I am exhausted. I did tell the older sister - if you would just take him to get his eyes checked & to the dentist it would be a huge help. I love my brother, want to do what is best for him, but please tell me I am not the only one in a situation like this & aside from the love & caring, feels some resentment.  (I also took care of mom & dad during their last days with very little help from my siblings who all lived in this state at that time, there were 8 kids then, one has since passed)

21

Off-Topic / Re: Valentine's Day

« on: February 13, 2011, 06:17:33 am »Message ID: 313315

To me Valentine's Day is just  another "Hallmark" Holiday. If I love & cherish someone I don't need it put on my calendar to remind me to tell them how much they mean to me. (My family, boyfriend or whom ever)
I have been in a relationship for 4 years (living seperately) we rarely exchange gifts for any of the Holidays - just an agreement we made in the beginning. He has everything he needs & I am on a fixed income - so this works well for us. (He does bring me candy or flowers at random times)

Even cards are expensive anymore - so showing I care is cheaper & more meaningful.

22

Off-Topic / Re: Why does my wife treat me like she does?

« on: February 13, 2011, 06:08:06 am »Message ID: 313312

First of all, where do you go on Saturday nights that she doesn't want to go? Maybe it is something she just doesn't enjoy. When I was married, I looked forward to the time hubby went out (not drinking) with his friends so I could have some 'me' time. Also, how is your relationship other wise? We fought like cats & dogs & if I saw a male I knew & spoke, there was H-ll to pay! Many times we would run into my step dad's relatives & I couldn't ignore them, but hated talking to them because I knew at some point I would get yelled at. (The men only) I was called alll kinds of names, belittled, etc yet expected to be romantic. I am not saying this is your fault, maybe she has just lost interest, but the first place to look is within yourself & what you may be doing wrong. When he was drinking, he was evil & I just couldn't get over the treament & things he said to me.

Happily divorced for 25 years this month.

23

Off-Topic / Re: Single Mother six kids and counting.....

« on: February 10, 2011, 04:41:57 am »Message ID: 312124

Oh & BTW, how do you know the woman was single? Divorce? Prison? Death? People are too quick to judge when they don't know the facts. Mom & dad had 6 kids, he became abusive. After the divorce, she worked nights, kept the house spotless (yes we kids had to help) Cooked a big dinner, put out a garden, canned food like a mad woman & ironed in her spare time for others at $5.00 for a bushel basket full. She literally worked herself to death. Dad paid his child support, we babysat each other, if we older ones made any money, at least half of it was given to mom, out of respect, not because we had to.  Still, we had to accept some assistance from the government much to the embarassment of all of us. This subject is so debatable, I am anxious to see others' replies.

Just an added FYI - sometimes people have a load of kids with them because they are babysitting for a couple of families, TO MAKE MONEY SO THEY CAN STAY OFF THE SYSTEM.

24

Off-Topic / Re: Single Mother six kids and counting.....

« on: February 10, 2011, 04:31:40 am »Message ID: 312123

Dreamyxo,
You took the words right off of my keyboard! Between my daughter & her husband they have 6 kids. She was working, he was off work due to an injury. The had to go on partial public assistance, her pay just wasn't enough. Even with both of them working they still qualify for (some) food stamps. They both had married previously, like everyone else, thinking it was going to be forever. They have a wonderful marriage - the kids are all happy & well taken care of, but .... lets just let them go hungry because their parents both made mistakes when they were young by choosing the wrong partner. The kids have no idea how poor they really are - $$ wise anyhow, but very rich with love.
Tantrica,
people with your attitude really bother me - YOU decided you were going to save the world by not having kids? That was your choice. There will always be people who fall on hard times. I do agree that after a couple of kids with no father in sight (as far as $$ support goes) maybe the government should step in & say no more hand outs for you - You will have to have a tubal - then on the other hand the government is in our personal business too much as it is.
Personally, I had to retire early due to a movement disorder. Medicare & living in subsidized housing is no fun! Doing without medical care because I can't afford to pay what Medicare won't cover. I am supposed to have Botox injections in my neck muscles @ 3 months to keep down the pain & the muscles from spasming - can't  afford the nearly $400.00 each time. Suffering from a toothache because I can't afford a dentist - trade places with me babe.  Don't mean to be offensive, but people with your high & mighy attitude really offend me!

25

Off-Topic / Re: Swelling in my legs and feet

« on: February 10, 2011, 04:01:45 am »Message ID: 312114

I have this problem, for some reason it is worse in the warmer months. One doctor simply told me "this happens to all of us, if we live long enough" I was maybe 50 at the time (now 59) Last year it was so bad (& painful) that I thought my feet & ankles were going to burst, was put on Lasix, told to walk more for the circulation. Keep feet up when setting so the fluids wouldn't gather & flow downward & have a hard time circulating back up. I have a sleep disorder, so not uncommon to fall asleep at the PC, my swelling always gets worse then. In my opinion & experience - yes, see a doctor first & foremost. Follow their instructions, walk but try not to just stand or set in one place for extended periods with feet & legs just hanging down. At work, I would put a small box under my desk to rest my feet on. Be safe, have it checked out because as said in a previos post, it has the potential to be dangerous.

26

Off-Topic / Re: grandparents

« on: February 10, 2011, 03:44:58 am »Message ID: 312102

I am fortunate enough to have 8 grandkids. Six grandaughters & two grandsons. The boys & one of the girls are from my son-in-laws previous marriage. There is no way I would show particially as his kids are every bit as dear to me as my two daughters' kids are. At times I think they even show me more repect & concern as my 'natural' grandkids do. The youngest grand child is 4 - the oldest is 17.  They all call me maw - started by the oldest one who of course when she first started talking couldn't say grandma. Now my son-in-law & his siblings all call me maw. I have been blessed, none of them have any major health issues & it breaks my heart to see them growing up so fast!

27

Off-Topic / Re: Are you a leader or a follower?

« on: February 09, 2011, 02:59:13 am »Message ID: 311552

I feel I am a friendly non judgemental leader when the need arises. I live in a senior/disabled High Rise & prior to my brother moving in the same building & needing my help I was on the council board. I was very pleased & shocked at the respect I was shown. Now, I have had to resign my position, but remain an active "go along" I don't follow what I don't agree with, but work with anyone on what needs done as long as it is something I believe in.   

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Off-Topic / Re: Just Curious... Where Is Everyone From?

« on: February 09, 2011, 02:49:39 am »Message ID: 311550

I was born in Beautiful West Virgina - lived back where it took days for the sun to find us, but now live in NE Ohio. I miss "home" & the kindness everyone showed each other.

29

Offers / Re: Great new Daily Task...

« on: February 09, 2011, 02:43:46 am »Message ID: 311549

Daily tasks are fine, but I always need a reminder because it seems my life keeps getting more hectic & I forget.

30

Off-Topic / Re: What did you snack on during the Super Bowl?

« on: February 09, 2011, 02:39:32 am »Message ID: 311548

We had: shrimp dip, cheese, crackers, BBQ wings, Honey mustard wings (which were like eating straight mustard yuk) Fruit & dip, veggies & dip, of course the regular variaty of chips etc. It was a mini meal, not just a snack. But that's what you get when everyone is asked to bring something to share.