This topic is locked, no replies allowed. Inaccurate or out-of-date info may be present.

  • Print

  • Amazingly Simple..... 4 1
Rating:  
Topic: Amazingly Simple.....  (Read 986 times)

sflynt

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Elite Member
  • ******
  • Stereotyping: The thief of individuality
  • Posts: 870 (since 2010)
  • Thanked: 2x
Amazingly Simple.....
« on: October 19, 2010, 10:45:37 am »
.... HOME REMEDIES    ;D

    
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
    
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat up by using the sink.
    
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
    
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
    
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
    
You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
    
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to a pizza parlor, place an order for home delivery and catch a ride home with the driver.

Always keep several get well cards on your mantel... so if unexpected guests arrive, they will understand you've been too sick to clean the house.



Hope these help! hahahahaha

*Edited: to add a few more  ;D
« Last Edit: October 20, 2010, 01:27:10 pm by sflynt »
That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.

You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into in the first place.


jcribb16

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Platinum Member
  • *********
  • Posts: 5293 (since 2010)
  • Thanked: 71x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2010, 12:35:06 pm »
 :cat:  LOL!  These are great! 

sflynt

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Elite Member
  • ******
  • Stereotyping: The thief of individuality
  • Posts: 870 (since 2010)
  • Thanked: 2x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2010, 01:15:36 pm »
:cat:  LOL!  These are great! 

LOL!  ;D Thanks jcribb! I thought they were pretty funny myself. And I'm sure there are more that can be added to this list lol!!
That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.

You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into in the first place.

shernajwine

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Silver Member
  • *******
  • Humility is a virtue; timidity is an illness.
  • Posts: 1299 (since 2010)
  • Thanked: 0x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2010, 01:28:05 pm »
LOLOLOLOL Hilarious sflynt!

I will have to send that out as an email to some people!  ;D


sflynt

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Elite Member
  • ******
  • Stereotyping: The thief of individuality
  • Posts: 870 (since 2010)
  • Thanked: 2x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2010, 01:35:24 pm »
LOLOLOLOL Hilarious sflynt!

I will have to send that out as an email to some people!  ;D

Hahahaha!  ;D  I did that too!  :thumbsup:
That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.

You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into in the first place.

fairuzaavalon

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Newbie
  • *
  • I answer only to 2 ppl, Myself & God..
  • Posts: 40 (since 2010)
  • Thanked: 2x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2010, 02:32:27 pm »
lol ::)

Valerie1979

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Silver Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 1578 (since 2009)
  • Thanked: 2x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2010, 05:18:25 pm »
oh these are too funny  :)

cjobey99

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 239 (since 2009)
  • Thanked: 0x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2010, 10:25:05 pm »
Too funny, thx for the giggle. :thumbsup: :peace:

ppv2

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 562 (since 2010)
  • Thanked: 0x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2010, 03:40:21 am »
These are terrific!

karenkpc

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 422 (since 2010)
  • Thanked: 0x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2010, 07:04:26 am »
Quote
You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

oh, man, this is SO my motto!! 

samrhett2

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Silver Member
  • *******
  • Karla Cross
  • Posts: 1608 (since 2009)
  • Thanked: 44x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2010, 07:08:01 am »
I read the first one and thought you were serious.  Then I read on.  Thanks for the laugh.  I think there should be one also about Robitussin.  If you ever heard Chris Rock talk about it.  According to his mom there was no health issue that Robitussin could not cure.

rogery

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Elite Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 845 (since 2008)
  • Thanked: 4x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2010, 07:19:56 am »
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

I tend to assume no one is normal. I'm seldom proven wrong... maybe it's just me ????

franlee46

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 644 (since 2009)
  • Thanked: 1x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2010, 08:44:52 am »
.... HOME REMEDIES    ;D

   
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
   
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat up by using the sink.
   
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
   
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
   
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
   
You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
   
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
   
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


Hope these help! hahahahaha


These are tooooo funny I needed a good laugh, Thanks ;D

busybodyinak

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 5 (since 2010)
  • Thanked: 0x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2010, 09:37:08 am »
Good list, but you forgot one or two really good ones......
Stupidity should be painful......When I am stupid it is ALWAYS really painful
And
Silence is golden......Duct tape is silver......................Smiles

sflynt

    US flag
    View Profile
  • Elite Member
  • ******
  • Stereotyping: The thief of individuality
  • Posts: 870 (since 2010)
  • Thanked: 2x
Re: Amazingly Simple.....
« Reply #14 on: October 20, 2010, 10:02:20 am »
Good list, but you forgot one or two really good ones......
Stupidity should be painful......When I am stupid it is ALWAYS really painful
And
Silence is golden......Duct tape is silver......................Smiles

Definitely could add more to the list! lol...  ;D :thumbsup:
That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.

You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into in the first place.

  • Print
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
4 Replies
1237 Views
Last post May 11, 2009, 05:42:24 am
by rebmagnolia
3 Replies
343 Views
Last post October 25, 2010, 07:29:39 pm
by jorhea
13 Replies
733 Views
Last post May 02, 2011, 04:19:48 pm
by kords21
1 Replies
271 Views
Last post July 04, 2011, 08:54:01 am
by tweety0412
11 Replies
442 Views
Last post August 07, 2011, 01:01:14 am
by Consultsone