I deal with couples all the time, and it seems to me that the more things change....the more they stay the same.
1. Sometimes an individual is incapable of real love. Be it how they grew up as a child or how they perceive love. Love is being through the bad and good. That's real love. To go through something drastic together, and still truly love each other afterwards. Some people have no depth in their heart to "weather" storms in a relationship, or they think love is all rainbows and romance. These kind of people never learn to give it all in a relationship. They are incapable (flawed) in their ability to love.
2. Unless there is abuse in the picture, when someone falls out of love, or falls for someone else, that is nothing but selfishness on their part. The person left to pick up the pieces is left thinking they did something wrong, when in all probability, the person that left is only looking for the "rush" of love, and is not capable of loving deeply. It's surface.
3. It's easy to throw in the towel and write someone off, but each time that happens, the heart becomes more shallow. Then when they meet someone they actually want to love, it's usually someone very much like themselves. Very surface and shallow.
4. Roses, candy, cards, etc., are nice, but the real love is when daddy gets up in the middle of the night with a sick child, and lets mommy sleep, because she has been tending to the child all day. Or makes sure that his wife's car has enough gas in it, and it's in good running order. Or makes sure the garbage can is set out on garbage days, so she doesn't have to do it. Missing an anniversary, or birthday, because he forgot, doesn't mean he doesn't love you......men forget. Going to work everyday and coming home to you every night is love. Putting food on the table and making a living for the family is love. Cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cooking the meals, is love. What man or woman wouldn't like to have it different than the daily grind? They stay in it because of love. To stay in a relationship shows maturity in love, along with the bad and good.
5. Those who have loved and lost, and now have a wall up, and are no longer willing to take a chance on love.......avoid like the plague. Only an open heart, no matter how many times it's been broken will mature into someone who can truly love someone else.
6. Someone that has loved and lost many times are usually picking the same type of person over and over again. It's a proven fact that sometimes we will constantly pick a certain personality because we think it's what we want or what we deserve (subconcious). I've heard many couples tell me that when they met their spouses, it was someone they would have never picked for themselves. However, the relationship is strong and thriving between them.
While there are a lot of online dating sites that promise to help you find that one and only, I'd have to say....it's a long shot. The one sure way I have found for couples to find the right one, is to pray for them, and let God bring them to you. Since God knows all hearts, He's the best matchmaker around, and charges nothing. I've seen God bring someone from across the US to a little town in the middle of nowhere, to their intended spouse. It's one of life's decisions that everyone needs help.
Community Forum
Topic: Why does love hurts so bad? (Read 2655 times)
November 13, 2010, 06:13:35 am
