How do I tell him I'm not interested?

[BblsLuvsSprkls]

I had this friend who has suddenly become interested in me. like, "interested" in me.  I'm happily married and do not want anything to do with this guy.  we're not as close of friends anymore but he texts me almost every day and tells me he misses me and it's really awkward.  He knows I'm married but he does not seem to think it's a factore. He often tells me to blow off my husband to hang out with him.  I have basically stopped responding to his texts, but I still see him around campus and I have difficulty being rude. How do I tell him to just back off because I'm not interested?

[trucktina]

You mentioned that you see him on campus. Since you both go to school/work at the same school, I'd speak to school officials. He's harrassing you, and your school has a policy against that. Best of luck!

[alwaysinstyle]

you need to be smart here!CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER!!!!

[clickers]

Ask him how he would feel if you told your husband he was making passes at you?

[Sirdavids]

just tell him?

[jogljoel]

Bring your husband to campus therefore creating an awkwardly moment for him to suffer through.Just show how much fun you have with your husband other than having fun with him.Another way is just to tell your husband,he's gonna get it over with. 

[xComet]

I would let your husband know that he's bothering you like that. The guy needs to get it through his head that you aren't interested 

[BblsLuvsSprkls]

Thank you guys for your help. I guess I just need to be more aggressive.  sadly I can't bring my husband around until he has leave in December, at which time I'm no longer on campus because we have winter break. I don't know if him texting me and talking to me and asking to hang out can really count as harrasment though, even if I don't want him to and I've told him repeatedly that I don't go out.

[Phx0808]

Here is an idea:

TXT from Weirdo: I miss seeing you!

Your reply: Yeah I know what you mean, my husband tells me the same thing. I guess I am too busy. I really need to slow down and spend time a lot more time with my hubby whom I <3. I would hate to see ANYTHING get in the way of our relationship.

Ok seriously, I would tell the school officials, your husband, and even the police. You can get a restraining order for $25 in most places.
This guy isn't right in the head! DO NOT go at this alone. You are not the only one going through this. He could be hitting on other women!
Cut off all communication with him, IMMEDIATELY!

Stop the insanity.
As a teacher, I am so glad to see the bullying education is finally paying off. More and more kids are reporting it. It does make a difference. The sooner reported, the quicker it can be stopped and taken care of.

All the best,

Phx0808




 

[Azanne07]

You just need to come out and tell him that your not interested. Saying that you dont want that type of relationship isnt rude. If he dont stop with the text messages maybe change your number. If it gets that bad you may have to tell your husband or go to the cops or authority at your work or school.

if you tell him to stop and he doesnt then it may be best not to have any communcation with him.

[masked_brown_guy]

you can always tell him that you are married...or better yet tell him that you are married. ALSO you can tell him you have survival insurance and then he'll be like "I can't take that ride."

[trucktina]

Thank you guys for your help. I guess I just need to be more aggressive.  sadly I can't bring my husband around until he has leave in December, at which time I'm no longer on campus because we have winter break. I don't know if him texting me and talking to me and asking to hang out can really count as harrasment though, even if I don't want him to and I've told him repeatedly that I don't go out.

The word isn't "aggressive", it's assertive.

even if I don't want him to and I've told him repeatedly that I don't go out.

Any unwanted contact is harrassment. Like someone else said, he might be treating others at your school like this. That's why speaking up to your administration is crucial. I hope you get help.

[cubarican210]

Girl, you need to tell him to back off or else he'll just continue doing it. You know he's not a good person if he's telling you to blow plans with your husband. If he's that into you and doesn't back off when you tell him, change your number and get a restraining order against him. If he violates the restraining order he gets arrested. Even if he's your friend, you shouldn't have given him your number to begin with. It sounds like he's infatuated with you and won't rest until he gets you.

[froggylover227]

Jsut be careful, because he may be some physco freak who will flip out if you set him off. Just try to be polite about it, and go with the whole "It's not you, it's me" thing. If that doesn't seem to work, I'd get your husband to show him a thing or two, and worse case scenario, call in the authorities.

[Phx0808]

I am worried for you about this situation.
I really feel so strongly about this.
You need to take action and yesterday was too late!!
Please do something immediately.

Thanks for listening