Jokes

[kathrynh]

Who has some good jokes? Let's post em here. But keep it relatively clean people.

[Bl93D]

okay so theres a black guy a mexican and a chinese guy......

nah im playing lol

[amy11077]

First guy walks into a bar...

the second guy ducks.

  

Get it??

Kinda goofy I know...LOL   

[kathrynh]

Haha I heard a version of that joke but it goes

A man walks into a bar.
"ouch".

And then you always have to explain it to people.

[simguy13]

One bright sunny day two fathers were discussing that they had the most stupid son.
1st dad called his son to demonstate -
'John ah want yuh to go home and see if I am home.'
The son said okay and ran off
The dad chuckled and stated 'see how stupid he is?'
The 2nd dad called his son and said 'Tom my shadow just run off and ah too slow to catch it, go quickly and help me get it'.
'Sure dad', Tom said as he ran off.
'I told you he was stupid, he went de wrong way', the 2nd dad remarked.

[debraleesparks]

 :wave:An old couple was stopped by a policeman, the policeman says he is sorry, they are probably on their way to church, but he noticed the man was going a little too fast.. the old man says he wasn't... the policeman says that he understands, that they were hurrying, so they wouldn't be late for sunday school... the old man says that he wasn't speeding.. finnally, the old woman tells the policeman that is is no use arquing with her husband, after he's been drinking all morning... hahahahah

[kathrynh]

hahahaha debraleesparks.

A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.

The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."

"Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog."

The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."

The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What??! They gave me a Chihuahua??!"

[amy11077]

Why did Tigger look inside the toilet??


He was looking for Pooh.


(sorry, that one was goofy.  )

[kathrynh]

Haha my 8 year old cousin told me that one.

[amy11077]

Yeah, well I was trying not to use the one's I have stored up because I don't want to offend anyone!     

[aaddock]

 
Two snow men were standing in a field one turns to the other and says do you smell Carrots?

[debraleesparks]

  What's invisible and smells like carrots??? bunny gas !!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahah

[Dominic_Warren52]

I DNT KNO

[carolinaqt782]

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

haha no offense, blondes

[simguy13]

I got this one from my 6 year old niece:
Knock, Knock --Who's there?
Pooh. -- Pooh who?
Pooh pooh!