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Topic: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..  (Read 435 times)

BK_Adores_Chase

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Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« on: March 14, 2012, 08:17:35 pm »
the other day at my job, I'm a cashier, I asked a customer how old his daughter was and he said "she's 3, she's just small for her age"  I feel like...i'm not saying he's a bad parent, but why put ideas in your kids head that they aren't "big" enough, I wish I could go back and say (in front of the little girl) she looks perfect to me, maybe all of the other kids are just really big...or something.  Everyone is unique, so why point out to your child that they are different...i don't know, any thoughts?


champak97

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2012, 08:45:10 pm »
My kid is 4 and is smaller for her age. She is a picky eater, and hardly eats any protein. Sometimes, I need to tell her that if she is not eating her proteins she will be short and not grow taller. So, I dont see anything wrong with that dad, may be he was also frustrated with his daughter's eating habits :dontknow:

CharmedPhoenix

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2012, 02:50:18 am »
the other day at my job, I'm a cashier, I asked a customer how old his daughter was and he said "she's 3, she's just small for her age"  I feel like...i'm not saying he's a bad parent, but why put ideas in your kids head that they aren't "big" enough, I wish I could go back and say (in front of the little girl) she looks perfect to me, maybe all of the other kids are just really big...or something.  Everyone is unique, so why point out to your child that they are different...i don't know, any thoughts?

I agree with you, a parents words are very influential.  Parents need to watch what they say about their kids.  Today it's "small" tomorrow it might be "stupid".  Those things shape a child's image of themselves.  Parents need to focus on the positive and be consistent.  Mine were terrible at it, many mixed messages, no emotional support.  This gave me many problems to deal with.

raven1114

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2012, 03:49:22 am »
the other day at my job, I'm a cashier, I asked a customer how old his daughter was and he said "she's 3, she's just small for her age"  I feel like...i'm not saying he's a bad parent, but why put ideas in your kids head that they aren't "big" enough, I wish I could go back and say (in front of the little girl) she looks perfect to me, maybe all of the other kids are just really big...or something.  Everyone is unique, so why point out to your child that they are different...i don't know, any thoughts?

I think you're reading way more into it then needs to be. It was a simple comment and assuming the girl is small for her age would also be a fact. My oldest daughter was tiny as a baby/young child also. So a lot of people thought she was younger than she was.

acurtsinger2

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2012, 05:25:08 am »
we are all different in ways, and differences should not be considered bad..diversity is a great thing, i'd hate to live in a world where everyone looked and acted the same.

plennis

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2012, 10:06:26 am »
:BangHead: :BangHead:  Yes, it was just a simple statement of fact.  I had  4 children who were all very tall for their age...the girls stopped growing around 7th grade (average heights) but the boys are now  6' 2" and 6'5".  People were always making comments about how slow they were (thinking that because they were the size of an average 6 year old that they were)  This was when my sons were 3 & 4.  In sports all through grade school and middle school I had to have their birth certificates with me because they were challenged about their age and eligibility to play.  Some  "adults" get very ugly when they think you are cheating their children, and make very rude and offcolor comments to the big or  different kids.  They are both professional baseball players now, they were  all 4 very gifted athletes and played beyond the abilities of most kids of the same ages.   I got the last laugh, they were all 4 courted by universities and colleges around the  country and got college for FREE.   So sometimes the parents are not putting the child down, they are just stating a fact to cut some  smart or nasty comments off before the kids hear it AGAIN.  Oh they were also all A & B students (2 valedictorians) 4 full athletic scholarships.   :thumbsup:     

sommap

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2012, 10:11:52 am »
By saying derogatory things to their children, the parents can scar their kids for life.  If a parent continues to call a child stupid, eventually they believe they are stupid. 

campbell2011

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2012, 10:46:49 am »
you never judge someone for their looks in the child

mrsbluesmith

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2012, 11:09:56 am »
Children learn what they live.

potluck6

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2012, 12:01:39 pm »
it's not just parents but teachers too i remember in 5th grade iwas going to catholic school ya know those  nuns who i'd like to smack down now grrr-anyway a girl and i were doing a math problem and we were having trouble so the nun says to us 'it's like the blind leading the blind' we both were affended like to find out where she is buried so i can throw no spit on her grave.ok calming now that piece of----you gotta watch what you say to kids

vickysue

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #10 on: March 15, 2012, 01:18:43 pm »
I know how you feel both of my boys were small for their age, of course my first born was a premie and it took some time before he caught up. When someone said he sure is small my come back was big things come in small packages and that he was way to fiesty and smart for his size. He started growing in middle school and i couldn't keep up with his clothes. He was 5'10" but carried himself so well that most people thought he was a lot taller. The youngest one took a little longer but he caught up and was in rotc. and proud of it.

articx

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #11 on: March 15, 2012, 05:29:02 pm »
I do not think anything is wrong saying that someone is small for their age.

...Everyone is unique, so why point out to your child that they are different...i don't know, any thoughts?
Isn't saying that everyone is unique, the same as saying everyone is different?

raven1114

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2012, 07:17:08 pm »
By saying derogatory things to their children, the parents can scar their kids for life.  If a parent continues to call a child stupid, eventually they believe they are stupid. 

There's a big difference in calling a child stupid and in saying they are small for their age.

GramPolly3

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Re: Parents put down their kids without even knowing it..
« Reply #13 on: March 15, 2012, 09:07:36 pm »
I think most parents are mindful that what they say about their child can stay with them for life and reinforce the positive. It is more likely strangers remarks that are hurtful. The parents who do put down their children for whatever reason should not have been parents to begin with.

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