Heart broken

[cateyes1]

Without going into detail my daughter cheated on her husband. He found out first by mistake before I even said anything to him. My daughter is 38 and her husband is 53 and we don't get along one bit. He wrote me one day and said that he hopes that I die and after reading that I went and told him exactly what my daughter and this other man did. well since then all hell broke lose and she told me that I should have stayed loyal to her and not say anything to her husband. Her birthday was yesterday and I emailed her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and that was ignored.....last week I asked her a simple question through and email and she came back with an attitude and so I will admit that after almost a year of being ignored by her I wrote her back saying that "I wish I never had her" and some other mean things (all out of anger) she writes back " what kind of mother talks to their child that way" UGH...she will NOT own up to her wrong doing...she emailed me the other day calling me an idiot, told me to stay out of her life and to never call or email her again....I give up on her and at this point I don't care if I EVER see her again...thank you for letting me vent....I just want to say that over the year I have apologized to her many times over and she doesn't want to hear it....in her mind I wasn't "loyal" to her so she hates me now !!

[bretay]

i know how you feel...my youngest daughter wot talk to me..she will text her daddy back but not me..she's not mad..dont know why....i'm glad she doesnt have any kids...

[cateyes1]

i know how you feel...my youngest daughter wot talk to me..she will text her daddy back but not me..she's not mad..dont know why....i'm glad she doesnt have any kids...

Sorry to hear that

[squirrelgirl44]

Well, I haven't read any of the responses, but I bet there is more to the story. I am on the opposite end of this, and I have VERY GOOD reasons for not speaking with my parents.

[cateyes1]

Well, I haven't read any of the responses, but I bet there is more to the story. I am on the opposite end of this, and I have VERY GOOD reasons for not speaking with my parents.

Can I ask why you don't talk to your parents? do you miss them?

[hitch0403]

Cateyes....why did your daughtrs hubby wish that you would die?Did he feel that way cos he felt you would only pull her part?And even after he knew of the cheat,did you go on to tell him to help him understand it was the truth?

You shoulda scolded your daughtr that she sinned....if thats what you did.....if your intent was to help the marriage your conscience should be clear!!

[cateyes1]

Cateyes....why did your daughtrs hubby wish that you would die?Did he feel that way cos he felt you would only pull her part?And even after he knew of the cheat,did you go on to tell him to help him understand it was the truth?

You shoulda scolded your daughtr that she sinned....if thats what you did.....if your intent was to help the marriage your conscience should be clear!!

To be honest I don't know why he wished me dead, this was a year ago. I cant stand him as much as he cant stand me. He says things to everyone and he thinks he funny but not many people like him. When he said " I hope you die" I told him about my daughter with the other guy because I wanted him to hurt as much as it hurt me when he made that comment....i'm bad I guess

[Tresbn00]

Not to be a rainy cloud but I haven't talked to my father for thirty two years. His behavior and level of care in my/my sister's formative years left a lot to be desired. He is now trying to get back in touch and I am not willing to allow him into my life. My children are at an age where they can figure things out and I do not stand in the way of them communicating with him.  He has made amends with my wife, mother and step father as well. I have forgiven him for his behavior with me but choose not to allow him into my life. I have not forgiven him for the mess he made of my sister which will take longer as she bounces in and out of rehabilitation centers and emergency rooms and I am cleaning up the mess he made of her. I had learned dismissive traits from him and am quick to let go of relationships when people are less than adequate-I just can't find the time.

[hitch0403]

So now the picture becomes clear.You both dont like each other and you mention the cheat for your own ammo!!

And then it costs you a relationship besides with your daughter.If your telling him was to help the marriage and discipline your daughter thats different.It wasnt.You shoulda minded your business and stayed neutral.

[cateyes1]

So now the picture becomes clear.You both dont like each other and you mention the cheat for your own ammo!!

And then it costs you a relationship besides with your daughter.If your telling him was to help the marriage and discipline your daughter thats different.It wasnt.You shoulda minded your business and stayed neutral.

If you knew this guy it would be hard to stay neutral believe you me. It's not the first time he's called me names and for no reason. My daughter even fought with him a few times for it. When she use to call me every night and telling me about she and this other guy, well, she made it my business, otherwise she shouldn't have said anything to me about her little fling.

[hitch0403]

So your daughter has defended you in past but she doesnt like idea that you butt in here.Maybe because your daughtr sees you did it for your own advantage.Crazy situation.Sounds to me you would be happy to see him gone and your relationship with daughter comes back.

The tongue as small as it is causes much damage.We all need to think before we speak.I would think if you had been close to daughter before she might understand why you told him and forgive you for butting in for wrong reason.If she doesnt remember it was for your own advantage why you are in this now.

Hopefully you can iron mess out with her and this marriage doesnt sound too stable in all areas!So what else is new?In-laws and controversy still existing!

[bigfoot951]

Keep trying.  I wouldn't do it too often, but don't stop.  No matter what happened...time heals all.  Best of luck to you.  I truly feel for you.

[cateyes1]

Keep trying.  I wouldn't do it too often, but don't stop.  No matter what happened...time heals all.  Best of luck to you.  I truly feel for you.

Thank you so much bigfoot951, I intend to give it a rest for a long while though. I get to stressed out trying to get back in her life only for her to keep shooting me down....She really needs to own up to her part in all this. She should not have been seeing someone else in the first place....thanks again

[ancmetro]

   Well, you know how it is: They grow up, move out and want to start their own lives. Send her Birthday cards, Happy Holidays and New Year messages...sooner or later she will get back to you.

[colbtrist]

Bless your heart. I would just keep sending cards and birthday gifts. I would pray also on it. But I think you should start walking, join the gym, take an art class, go volunteer at a retirement center, something to keep to busy. Have you ever thought of pen palling? Find a circle of friends that care for you and someone you can write long letters to. Good luck.