Dealing with a teenager?

[MYKRLuciano]

Sometimes I wonder am I a good parent. And when I look how my step daughter is turning out I feel good about it. It was not easy but I didnt. And now I have to deal with two more girls who is totally different and also different generations. How can I still maintain to be a good mother and friend?

[wongjason72]

talk to them
tell them how u feel

[dreamyxo]

Sorry I don't believe in being friends with children.  Yes you can be open with them so they feel they can come to you but being mother has to come first the friendship will come later when they are older. Friends pretty much let you get away with things, friends do what they want, they can talk to friends in a disrespectful way, friends don't discipline you.  IMHO when you try to be friends with them they will not have the respect they need to have for you as a parent.  I've seen parents want to be friends with their children and get walked all over.  The children have no respect for them.  They don't want to discipline them and be seen as the bad guy.

Growing up I used to think my mother was so mean.  She would be the first one to say I am not your friend or don't think you can talk to me the way you talk to your little friends.  Now that I am grown I appreciate how I was raised and can see what she was doing and to me she is the best mother I can have.  She made it clear that she was the boss. 

[karenkpc]

I agree.  being a non-friend doesn't mean you can't play with them or share all kinds of experiences with them...but every child needs to learn boundaries.  if they don't learn them from their parents, they will not be successful at creating their own as teens and adults.  your job is to raise them to become happy productive healthy adults and fill that parenting role.

[snewoyelhsa]

Well, I am a teenager and I can say I am best friends with my Mom. Yet, she disciplines me (and she is pretty strict/over-protective, let me tell you). I never really understood the idea that you can't be friends with your children. Because I am best friends with my Mom, I feel like I can talk to her about everything (literally everything). I'm not embarassed to talk to her. I believe that because we are friends, I am able to respect her opinions more. I know her viewpoints on drugs, drinking, smoking, sex, etc. etc. I listen to her and because of our friendship, I have never done those things she disapproves of. Why? Because I don't want to disappoint my Mom. And I don't want to disappoint my best friend.

You just have to find the fine line between being a good mother and being a best friend. Obviously if you let them do whatever they want, they aren't gonna respect you. But, if you're open with them, tell them your viewpoints, have fun with them, and discipline them, I think you'll be okay. Don't let those moments where they want to talk to you (or you want to talk to them) pass you by. Once you're able to have an open communication with them, they're going to feel like they can come to you with any of their problems. I can guarantee it.