I surely hope your last post is what you have really decided. I have been on both sides of the fence - I am a woman, who can proudly say "now I am a lady". My parents cheated on each other, the old saying 'children live what they learn' is so true! My marriage was not the best, I did try to work on it, arranging time off work for my husband & planning a week vacation for him & I to try to revive our feelings for each other - or maybe it was for me to try to revive my feelings for him. The vacation was a flop - he wouldn't stop to see any of the sites. The only thing he was interested in was 'under the sheets'. A woman needs to feel she is more than just a u know what to her man. Do you ever buy your wife a gift JUST BECAUSE? Plan a romantic night out without expecting her to do her 'wifely' duties afterwards? You can't expect to treat your wife like a piece of meat, total house keeper etc & think that she is going to show affection! We fought, argued & yes a few times he got physical with me, forced me to do things I didn't want to do, but I did want things to work out.
I did get involved with a married man - (after my divorce) it has been over for 10 years & I am still heart broken. If a man or woman has no more scrupples than to cheat on their spouse, or to be the other woman like I was - Well, there is nothing coming to them. I have made my apolgies, cleaned the slate & have been born again.
As has already been said, the kids suffer terribly & the cycle can just continue like crazy.