Can jelousy and insecuritys mess up a relationship? What is your opinion?

[anubabs]

yes it does!!!!

[mjdoug03]

Yes.  I used to be like that when I was younger, but now that I'm married I don't really get jealous anymore.  You can't have 2 jealous people in a relationship.  That will never work!

[heartofphila]

There is two sides to every story.  regardless, its not a healthy relationship.

[JuletLindo]

My opinion on your question...

Yes! Of course it can. As mentioned earlier, without trust a relationship is nothing. That goes for just about everything in life. Trust is that thing you give without evidence. It's hard to do, but is necessary in certain situations. In a relationship, that's definitely one of them.

I'm not so sure about your situation, the status of your relationship, etc. etc. My opinions of it all can go extremely far. However, I pray that you find truth somewhere in this mess!

[Neyonce]

Theres always a reason for someone's insecurities. Maybe he sends signals to her that make her think he is unfaithful. Or maybe she has been cheated on in the past and can't let go of that hurt. I would suggest that they attend some kind of couples counseling to see if they can get past it. If not then they should just call the whole relationship off.

[ninajay]

Being jealous and insecure is disastrous to a relationship, for sure.

[sac0098]

I believe that some jelously and insecuritys can hurt some relationship if you let it. If you have a strong relationship you shouldn't have to worry about your other half. But if you don't trust him, why are you with him. I will always be alittle jelouse, but I won't let him know.

[robin1128]

Yes I think so very much

[in2darkness77]

some jealousy is ok. show tht they care if other girls like u or afraid of losing u.. but ther is a point where u need to draw a line.. overjealous is a bad thing andcan make u feel trapted

[raven1114]

does she have reason to be jealous and suspicious. even though a person may not have actualy cheated on their partner if their behaving as though they have or would then i can understand the person being jealous.   

[britaniroberts]

It really depends. If you let it get too far then it could. A little jealousy and what not is okay, but eventually if you can't quit or tone it down, then it could really take a toll on the relationship and possibly cause it to end.

[melinder]

yes it can definatly mess up a relationship

[cubarican210]

Shenise is probably feeling insecure because Mike is not showing that he loves her. There's something that he's not doing right. He could be faithful all he wants but if he's not proving that he's not cheating on her then that could be the problem. Example, when a woman asks her woman "Where were you for the past five hours, I've been calling and calling you and you never picked up your cell." The man comes back and says, "don't worry about it," or he says, "mind your own business." That gives a lot for a woman to think about. Then all these scenarios start running through a woman's mind because her man didn't give her a straight answer. If he was at the store buying sneakers. He could have showed her the receipt or the sneakers themselves. She also may feel that way because she may have grown up that way as a result of a parental figure. Sometimes we act the way our parents act; we carry those same attitudes with us whether we like it or not.

[Annella]

Trust and honesty are the cornerstones of any relationship. Jealousy has many forms and comes from many places. it could be something that happened in the individuals past, etc. Sometimes when we have a "gut" feeling about someone (partners think the other is cheating), it's been proven that it's usually 90% straight on. However, jealousy is a type of fear, and has a root cause somewhere. These type of "fear triggers" in some people can't be suppressed without first removing what is triggering the behavior.

In this case, if there is love, then there should be a desire to get that person help, and to stay with them through their therapy. Leaving them does not help. A lot of people just throw in the towel because they get enough of the "20 questions" about where they have been, etc. Not realizing that the person can not help how she or he feels, or why they cannot control it. The main thing to do is get some help, and both people attend the therapy groups so both understand what and why.

I've dealt with some of this and it is often rooted in low self esteem. They can't imagine that anyone can love them, and will probably "wander" to someone else when they find out they are not what they thought. Thing is, they are very much loved, but can't accept or see it. Revealing these kinds of weaknesses to your significant other is hard, as it makes you extremely vulnerable to the other. Since that can't be done because of the lack of trust (either real or not), then it becomes a vicious circle to the individual suffering from this, and becomes worse. It needs acute insight of the other person to realize that they are not actually being questioned of their loyalty, but that the other is dealing with something they really can't help. Jealousy is one of our emotions, but can get distorted.

The Bible says that jealousy is as cruel as the grave. In other words, it can cause great grief. Find a Christian counselor that has been aptly trained in relationships. Pray together that God helps "heal" whatever "triggers" the jealousy behavior.

However, if the spouse or significant other are actually cheating, then they have the problem.......not you.

[tzs]

Jealousy in a relationship with someone that you are really commited to should not be negative. It should be a playful thing, like something that brings you closer to your spouse, because you know in your heart of hearts that he belongs to you and you alone. If it turns negative and hateful, my advice is to give it up.  Life is too short to beat around the "obvious bush" and never adress the issue properly. Just tell them to go their separate ways. If they truly trust and  :heart:love eachother, they will end up back together!