"It's so SAD that you have to go to Budapest when you can get better high quality escort girls, and adult women if you prefer, from AMERICA! They are the best in the world, my best friend Jeff Epstein has a bunch of them at his mansion and his private island, haven't heard from him in a few years, I should check in on him. I swear I'm not a bad friend, I've just been busy leading a country. I am a very important man. In fact I am so important that I building a ballroom in my friend's honor. I am a great friend like a dog who doesn't bark. But like I was saying you can get great barely legal (like 15) girls here, it's great. You can just walk up to them and start kissing them, grab them between the legs if you want. They let awesome dudes like us do it because we're rich and famous. Worst case they get upset and you give her dad like some pocket change ($50K-ish) and it all goes away. It's so affordable, a word no one was talking about until now. Groceries and gas are affordable thanks to tariffs making other countries pay taxes and on longer cheat up. Groceries another word no one talked about until me, are even cheaper than the affordable escort girls here in the United States. Seriously guys, just talk with your inner circle and they'll make all the arrangements to get the girls and keep their families' quiet. Reminds of a special summer with my friends Jeff and Bill (or Bubba as we all called him). We had a truth or dare game that got really out of hand. Lets just say I did some things on a dares that if they were talked about in emails that got leaked would look really embarrassing. But who hasn't done that kind of stuff with another guy at least once? Doesn't make me any less of a man, I got a HOT wife and two other ex-wives (who were hot before they got old). Plus I hooked up with an adult film lady once! I'm just saying if you have to go to Budapest for those ladies you're as bad as the crooked injustice system that's been prosecuting me for trying to keep elections fair! In their great wisdom the great state of Georgia finally dropped their garbage lawsuit against me. Just because I really wanted to be the winner of 2020 election doesn't make me a bad guy for telling my voters to start a riot. Not even that make damage was done, some property at the capitol was broken and a few people died. Not even important people, none of them were celebrities! Though of course we know how great I am. That bullet was guided by the divine hand of God to spare me and keep my mission to make this country great again going. Unlike the great hero who gave his life to distract people from some files I don't want getting out, my life was spared. Unfortunately sleepy Chuckles was a sucker and loser for not surviving his assassination, I much prefer heroes who survived their assassinations (like me and Reagan). We really are the best American Presidents! Definitely better than JFK and Lincoln who didn't survive. Lincoln had it coming of course, not a supporter of states rights like I am. States rights are very important! The first amendment would have said states rights shall not be infringed if I had wrote it. I just love this country so much, I'll hug my flag when I get back to my White House. Make America Great Again my fellow patriots! Thank you for your attention in this matter."
- The Biglyest American President